Thirty-Six
‘How’s it going then?’ Rob asks as we walk along together one morning up to our special viewing area. ‘With Mack, I mean, before you start talking about your work.’
I stare at Rob for a moment.
‘I know all about the two of you,’ he says, not sounding in the least angry. ‘I’ve known for some time.’
Mack has been back and forth over the last month between New York and St Felix – two bigger contrasts you couldn’t get.
He now officially owns the Merry Mermaid, even though it’s completely hush hush and everyone else thinks nothing has changed and Rob is still the owner.
We also resurrected our relationship on a more permanent basis, so even though Mack isn’t here all the time, our separations only make our reunions all the sweeter.
‘That makes two of you who knew before me then,’ I say, trying to keep it light. We are about to have a conversation I’ve been dreading since Mack returned to St Felix.
‘Who’s the other one? Wait, don’t tell me – Claire. You tell her everything. I also know you told her about me.’
‘I had to. I couldn’t lie to her any longer. It was killing me.’
‘It’s fine. I forgive you. We don’t want two of us going at the same time now, do we?’
‘Oh, Rob,’ I say, clamping my hand over my mouth. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t think.’
‘Not a problem. I’ve made my peace with it now.’
‘Have you – really?’
Rob nods. ‘It comes to us all eventually. Perhaps this is a little bit earlier than I’d expected, but when it happens, I’m ready. That’s why I wanted to talk to you, to let you know I’m happy for you and Mack.’
We seat ourselves on the little bench and I turn to him to see if he means it.
‘Are you? Honestly?’
Rob nods. ‘Mack is a good man – one of the best. If I can’t be with you for much longer, then I’m pleased he will be.’
‘Don’t say that. You don’t know how long you’ve got left – it could be ages yet.’
‘Or it could be any day.’
‘Really, so soon? But you seem so well.’
‘Good meds,’ Rob says quickly. ‘I told you I was with one of the best.’
‘But still . . . ’
‘Frankie, when it happens, it happens. And I don’t want you being miserable for longer than you have to be. By all means, mourn me for the appropriate amount of time . . . ’ He winks. ‘But then get on with the rest of your life – with Mack. My two best friends owe me that at least.’
I nod. But it’s so hard hearing Rob talk like this. I can’t bear it.
‘You will always be my first love,’ I say, trying to control the wobble in my voice. ‘Always – like the song. Remember?’
‘Bon Jovi – of course I remember.’ Rob takes my hand. ‘That’s when I first knew how special you were when I saw your T-shirt that night.’ He squeezes my hand, and I have to dig my nails into the palm of my other hand to try to stop myself from crying.
‘I may have been the first, Frankie, but I was never going to be the one
. I think we both know that. Sometimes it takes people a long time to find the one, but I think you have now. Keep each other safe, and love each other as if each day is your last. Because you never know if it might be.’
And as we gaze out at a view we’ve looked upon so many times together over the years, we both hear the familiar splash in the water below. But this time, we don’t need to look down. We simply gaze at each other.