Chapter 20 #5
“Jasper, I’m not kidding; I can’t even open my eyes right now; I’m going to puke.
” I panicked, realizing who I was talking to.
He wasn’t afraid of anything. He was seriously going to push for me to do this because, to him, it was stupid, not a valid fear.
He didn’t know that if I went out there, fate had already deemed I would fall.
His low, breathy voice was suddenly at the back of my neck and ear. “You’re not going to puke,” he whispered slowly. “We can stay right here like this all night. Open your eyes when you’re ready.”
My fear was momentarily hidden by the tingle in my lower abdomen at the sensation of his body pressed behind me, and his whisper lingered on my skin.
“Jasper…” I whispered in a plea.
I felt a low, pleased sound reverberate from his chest. Had I pushed back on him, or had he pushed closer to me?
My eyes opened, and I tried to recoil. Through the glass of the door, there was nothing but sky and tiny specks of houses clustered together far, far below. I had never seen anything from this high up.
With the comforting pressure of Jaspers’s protective body at my back and the surge of frustrated adrenaline still coursing through my system, I felt braver than I ever had.
So much was out of my control that I was suddenly overcome with the need not to be afraid of something so passive and trivial as the height of a balcony or a ledge.
But as badly as I wanted to do it, and as much as I trusted Jasper, I was afraid.
My shaky hand wiped off the stream of tears still on my cheek and found the gold door handle. I tried to push it down, but my arm was shaking too much to move it.
“You’re shaking like a leaf,” he whispered into the crook of my neck, the sensation causing my eyes to fall shut again.
His hand left my waist to brush back a rogue piece of hair on the side of my neck. The feel of his fingertips grazing my skin and my heightened senses felt almost euphoric, and I found myself breathing heavily for a multitude of reasons.
“Take your time. The view will be there for you whenever you are ready. We can stay like this forever.”
We stayed that way for a while. I was almost able to enjoy the protected view behind the glass with the closeness of Jasper at my back, pressing against me, reminding me he was there.
When the feeling began to dull and thoughts of my mother returned, I suddenly wanted more. I needed to tune her out.
I turned the handle of the door and pulled it open.
A tidal wave of fear doused my momentary bravery as the cool November breeze pushed into the room, moving my hair back from my face and onto Jasper’s chest.
It was too much. I spun back to move away, but Jasper’s large, muscular body blocked me. I curled into his chest, too afraid to do much else.
A few seconds later, his hands gripped my chin, moving my face up to look at him. “You don’t need me, your mother, or anyone, Eliza. You are the one who calls the shots, always. You are stronger than you know, and you can do anything. Think of the view. It will be worth it.”
“I’ve always wanted to paint something like this, to cast it in permanence so that I could look at it whenever I wanted in the comforts of my home and not be afraid.
” I huffed a laugh into his chest. “Except I realized you have to look at it to paint it, and it’s impossible to paint with trembling hands.
” The nervous, rambling words fell flat when I looked up again into his eyes.
He looked at me as if I truly could do anything in the whole world, and for a few moments, while my eyes remained attached to his, I believed him.
My fingertips found the back of his neck. I couldn’t look anywhere but at his lips. I couldn’t think about anything else. The need to feel them against mine was suddenly overwhelming. His head lowered slowly but stopped just shy of my lips.
It was my move. It was his way of reminding me that I was in control.
I forced myself to move slowly so I could savor every moment as my lips found his and pressed against them delicately.
As soon as our lips touched, it was as if the world began to fall away. A flame had been lit from the sparks of our tension, and now my body was going to incinerate with the heat of it.
He was restrained, and I could feel it—he was kissing me back but keeping himself on a leash, letting me guide it.
For a few minutes, it was sweet and gentle, as if we were telling each other tales with our lips, but soon, I craved more.
My needy hands moved over his chest, feeling the ridges and hardness that lay underneath his shirt.
It was like gasoline had been poured on the flame.
I gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, demanding more, but he was already as close as he could get.
“Slow down, love,” he whispered into my mouth before spinning me around while holding me as tightly against the front of him as he could.
He kissed the side of my neck, sending goose bumps across my skin.
My body lit up with sensations, sliding from my back down to my thighs. I could feel him everywhere.
I gasped when my eyes opened.
At some point, we had moved completely out onto the balcony. The thick stone rail was only a foot or two in front of me.
My shock and fear were tempered with lust as Jasper kissed and sucked on my neck. The wind bit at my skin, but I didn’t care—not with him this close.
“You’re in complete control,” he said against my neck.
With chaos in my veins and adrenaline to burn, I stared out at the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. It felt as if I were sitting on a cloud, looking out on the world.
Excitement swirled with danger, and I wanted even more.
I reached behind and ran my hand faintly over the bulge in Jasper’s pants.
God, he was so hard. He let out a low moan that served as gasoline to my already blazing wildfire.
I leaned back against him, feeling myself throb almost painfully between my legs as I gripped his stiffness. His restraint was cracking.
He pushed against me, his hand on my waist moved to my thigh, sliding up until his achingly slow fingertips found the gap between the loose fabric of my shorts.
His other palm slid up to brush against my breast. A soft moan pushed past my lips, and I wriggled against him, pleading for more of his touch.
His hand left my nipple and moved up to lightly grab a handful of my hair and guide my head to the side so that he could kiss me firmly on the mouth.
Our lips met in a feral, hungry kiss, and I was gone.
I had fallen from the edge in an entirely metaphorical way that I hadn’t expected.
Everything felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last thing that I did that felt so good. So right. I wanted to forget everything else but Jasper. This moment.
I tried to turn back to face him, but he kept my body facing out toward the emptiness and the fog. I ground my backside against his erection. He grabbed my hands and gently placed them wide on the balcony in front of me.
“Are you okay?” His whisper tickled the shell of my ear.
His large, wide-spread hand on the right side of my waist slid across the gap of skin on my stomach and under my waistband as his other hand sprawled across my stomach to brace me, his fingertips moving over the sheer fabric of my underwear and sliding under the fabric of those too.
The feel of him touching my most throbbing parts nearly buckled my knees, but I gripped the stone railing, looking out at the sky as if I were a bird with wings.
Loud breaths huffed out of me. “Yes, yes.”
His hand slid lower, gliding over me. “God, Eliza,” he said breathily as his movements became faster.
He removed his hand and slowly ran it up my side, grabbing the fabric of my shirt and pulling it over my head.
Crisp air teased my skin, tightening my nipples.
He caught the sides of my shorts and panties in his fingers on each side and ever so slowly slid them down to the ground, moving his hands over my skin as I stepped out of them.
I was completely naked and exposed on a balcony of Blackwood Manor, staring out at the sky with Jasper at my back.
My hand felt behind me until it found his hardness again. I began to undo his belt but struggled with it at that angle. His hand stilled mine just before it gave up and moved.
“Tell me to stop,” he said.
I didn’t.
“You don’t want this,” he breathed. “You think I’m going to be gentle with you?” he asked, voice low.
I heard the jingle of his belt being removed, the whisper of clothing being removed. His hand slid over me again. Needing to touch and see him and not the view, I struggled to turn, but again, he kept me facing the sky.
Clumsily, I reached behind and let out a low sound as I grabbed his warm, bare cock in my hand. Drunk on adrenaline, I asked for more. “Please, Jasper.”
Eagerly, his fingers slid into me as I stroked his length behind my back.
A shudder of pleasure rippled through my body as his fingers rhythmically slid in and out of me, causing tingles of pleasure to ripple through my body.
I was partially bent over the railing; his fingers brushed against my clit, causing me to tremble as I climbed closer and closer to the edge of an orgasm, every touch taking me higher.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispered again. I twisted my body around to face him. My eyes took in the sight of his broad shoulders and naked body by the darkening light of the sunset, and all I could do was stare as my hands found his ridged stomach. Then chest. Then his pounding cock.
“Do you trust me?” he asked. I could tell he was holding back. There was a menacing edge of danger to his voice that I hadn’t heard before, and it terrified and enticed me at the same time.
I nodded and pulled him down to kiss me. He resisted and pulled back.
“Eliza, do you trust me?” His expression looked almost angry, he was so serious. “I need to hear you say it.”