Chapter 22
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Stubbornness was an unfortunate trait of mine. Well, in situations like this. Holding a grudge was another. I hadn’t spoken to anyone since breaking down over the news, and while Dominic was in our stupidly large walk-in closet changing into a suit and packing his bag, I lay in bed, silently crying into the pillow, still pissed that he was leaving, debating whether or not to try one last time to convince him to stay.
He would’ve only been a few hours away in New York, but anything could’ve happened on this trip. I knew Dominic was able to handle his own, especially with any wannabe gangsters he might’ve encountered or the occasional tweaker, but Nico Nasuti belonged to a dangerous family before he was forced to survive on his own. Nico could’ve easily whipped up his own family, so to speak, and brought into it with him everything Vincent DiSanti knew and hammered into his mens’ psyche’s. Nico already found patsies to stalk and attack us on his behalf.
Did any other DiSanti members survive? If so, did Nico recruit them, too? Dominic was readying to walk himself into a dark, gritty, volatile wolf’s den, and it angered and scared the fucking shit out of me all at once.
Dominic reentered the bedroom, closing the closet door. His eyes skimmed over my face as he set his bag down on the bench at the foot of the bed. After a moment, he cautiously approached me, bending over to sweep the stray hairs from my face with his fingertips. My eyes were closed the entire time, but I still shivered when his lips brushed my forehead.
“If we finish early, I’ll notify you. You have everything you need while I’m gone.” He put his hand on my belly. “If an emergency arises, I’ll make it back here as fast as I can.” He removed his hand from my belly and touched my hand that wasn’t under my cheek, sweeping up and down my thumb with his finger. His warm breath fanned my face. “Look at me.” It wasn’t a command but a gentle request.
I opened my eyes, immediately overcome with fresh tears.
“I love you, Bellissima .”
“D-Don’t go,” I choked out.
He kissed my face. “I have to.”
Life felt unsafe the moment I lost his touch. His scent. Those magnificent blue eyes.
“No,” I whined as he picked up his bag.
I was afraid to tell him I loved him for fear it would be our last exchange, and when I heard the bedroom door open and close, I flung the sheets and comforter off me and got out of bed as fast as I could, rushing toward the door. The door slammed against the wall as I yanked it open to rush into the foyer, the love of my life a blurred figure feet away from the front doors.
“I love you,” I whispered, squeezing out a stream of tears. The click of the latch of the double doors was loud.
Me and my stupid fucking stubbornness.
It was cold. Desolate without him. Without any of them. Hands together in front of me, I mindlessly wandered further into the foyer. Hopefully, he heard me tell him I loved him. He had to have. Vampires had scarily excellent hearing.
The walls closed in around me. The air was suffocating. My stomach twisted, and my heart raced. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it, repeating the motion as I stood under the wide, dulled strip of moonlight bleeding through the windows upstairs.
Rules were in place that I couldn’t call him unless it was an emergency, and the call had to be via Sonny or Lucas. They had disposable, untraceable phones for this assignment.
I couldn’t text.
I couldn’t call.
He was out of reach. It was just me, myself, and my guilt.
Dominic was more than capable of stalking and kidnapping Nico. He was bound to return from any mission. He knew how to fight. How to stay alive. Too much mattered here at home; he wasn’t going anywhere. I always underestimated him, secretly knowing the truth and secretly holding onto my act of my naivety to help fuel me to fight for his change of mind.
Knowing he was capable didn’t make the assignments easier to bear.
“Lilith?” Bianca asked cautiously, her flowery voice cutting through the thick space.
I sobbed on a sharp intake of air, blinking my watery eyes and keeping them on the front doors.
“Oh, honey,” she said in her motherly way, like she took pity on me. “It’ll be okay.”
“No… N-No, it won’t,” I muttered, again sharply pulling in air with my next breath. I began loosely hugging myself in my attempt to keep the dam from crumbling apart.
Bianca entered my space, standing inches from me. She tucked a damp strand of my hair behind my ear and then wiped at my cheek.
“Yes, it will.” She then tenderly took my right hand inside of hers, her squeeze to my hand her way of telling me she was there for me. “You have to have faith.”
My words breathlessly tumbled, broken. Desperate.
“I’m afraid th-they won’t come home. I want him home. I can’t talk to him; I can’t talk to a-anyone.” My spit got stuck in my throat upon swallowing, my mouth drying. “I want him… Home.”
“Come on,” Bianca urged, guiding me to my room. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
Once inside my room, Bianca helped me into bed. I chose Dominic’s side to lie on. His scent was everywhere. I buried half my face in his pillow, sniffing and then spilling tears. I pulled the bedding closer to me as Bianca tucked me in.
Their safety and my fear of them getting hurt consumed my thoughts. I loved them all so much.
My son kicked and wriggled around, reminding me I needed to be strong. I couldn’t let my paranoia about anything happening to Dominic or my brothers persevere. I placed my left hand on the bedding over my belly, sliding my other hand underneath the pillow.
Mrs. Rosini placed her hand on my shoulder. “They’re coming back. I believe that, and you need to believe that.”
I sniffed.
“Let me tell you something. When I thought my baby boy died, my world collapsed. Despite what he may have told you about me, I love him with all my heart. The loneliness took such a toll. I barely ate. I barely slept. I was a zombie in one of those monster movies; nothing fazed me.
“I walked away from religion years into my and Lorenzo’s marriage, but while I mourned my son, I rediscovered the Lord, and my faith carried me through the pain. Maybe your faith can help you , too.”
Like Bianca used to feel, religion wasn’t a big thing with me. Not anymore, anyway, but I was blessed to have her in our lives. She had been gravitating, for me, into more of a good friend and no longer an acquaintance or just someone I had to coexist with.
Maybe I could try her way. Maybe… I could lean on God.
“I know in my heart Dominic would want you to know that he is out there to make things better for all of us. I see the love and devotion he holds for you, Lilith. It’s beautiful.”
I smiled, my eyelids gummy from all my crying. Dominic did love me, and I loved him. We would do anything for each other, no matter how painful.
Being away from me and our son must be nothing short of torture for him.
“Stay,” I weakly pleaded before I could stop myself.
She stepped away and shut the door, momentarily leaving me to wonder whether or not I would be sleeping alone, but I quickly relaxed when she walked around the bed to what was normally my side and got into bed, lying next to me. After she pulled on the covers, she held my hand, which was under Dominic’s pillow.
Her white, cotton, floral-themed nightgown brought back memories of one similar that my mom owned.
“You have to remember just how strong and brave you really are, and remember, absence always makes the heart grow fonder.”
It became difficult to keep my eyes open. My body grew heavier. It wasn’t long until I drifted off, still holding Bianca’s hand.