Chapter 1 #3
I walked through the front doors of the lodge.
Either the others hadn’t returned from the battle yet, or they still slept, because no one sat in the lounge.
The massive oak tree stretched up from the floor to the ceiling, reminding me of the first time I laid my eyes on it with Chrome by my side.
A pang shot through my heart at the memory.
Anger had warped me, making me care for nothing besides my own determination to find solutions to all of the problems plaguing me and our world. As a result, I’d effectively distanced myself from everyone.
My shoulders drooped, releasing the tension from tonight’s events as I made a quick getaway to bed. I’d debrief Orion and Onyx after I’d had rest. Trudging through bits of Arcadia always seemed to sap every bit of strength and energy from us, as if it were trying to drain our life-force.
I climbed the winding staircase, each step making it feel like bricks were strapped to my ankles. With no one around to see my weakness, I let my chin hang low to my chest.
The moment my foot touched the landing, I felt him. I paused, closing my eyes.
“Go away, Slate,” I murmured, too tired to deal with him.
“Gray,” he pleaded, “you can’t avoid me forever.”
I opened my eyes, pinning him with a scowl.
Short-cropped hair, the shade of wet dark stone, stood mussed in an intentional way on top of his head.
Sparks of green and gold in his hazel eyes caught in the morning light that beamed through the tall windows.
“I’ve gone nearly two years without you in my life. Two extra months is nothing.”
“I really need you to hear me out,” Slate pushed, stepping closer to me.
“I swear to the gods, Slate…if you don’t let me go to bed, I wi—”
“What? Kill me?” His dark eyebrows raised pointedly.
“Why not? You’re supposed to be dead, right?
So why don’t I make that a reality?” I held his gaze.
My anger toward him hadn’t receded an ounce since he revealed that he was still alive and well.
I had spent over a year grieving his death.
Grieving us. I felt stupid for setting out to avenge his death.
I had harbored guilt for moving on and developing feelings for Chrome.
I’d healed. Then, he just reappeared in my most desperate hour like a fucking guardian angel come to save the day, as if that would make it all okay?
To dig the blade in the wound, Chrome had known all along.
Once I found a way to restore Chrome, I’d fucking kill him myself, just to bring him back and leave him behind. Fuck them.
Slate directed his focus at my boots, his chin following. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Gray…I’m sorry. I had no choice.”
“Yeah, that seems to be everyone’s line these days. But what about my choice? Or did I ever fucking have one?”
“You have to understand that your safety and protection have always taken priority. I was always nearby, ready to step in if needed, but you didn’t need me.
You proved me right all those years ago.
” Slate lifted his hand, his fingertips brushing against the top of mine before swiftly dropping to his side. “I’ll always be in your corner.”
“Well, that’s sweet and all, but I don’t want or need you to be. I don’t trust you,” I snapped. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.” I pushed past him without giving him any more room for debate.
Every time I spoke to him was like shoving a fresh dagger into my heart over the scarred wound I had worked tirelessly to heal. I buried the emotions. That was for another day.
I could feel Slate watching me walk down the corridor, his stare willing me to turn around.
I refused to give him even a glance over my shoulder as I headed to the hallway opposite my room that led to the other side of the Hollow’s lodge.
It was nine in the morning, and others began to stir around and below me.
I needed sleep. Something I’d been lacking most nights. Maybe I’d find my reprieve this time.
The Hollow felt empty without Chrome’s presence, as if it were missing its heartbeat. I clenched my jaw, my nails digging into my palms as I made a beeline for the suite at the very end.
Walking into Chrome’s room always cinched my chest into an emotional knot of self-loathing pain, bringing flashbacks of that fateful day at the King’s Palace.
I let them come, allowing them to serve as my motivation.
They reminded me of yet more of my failures. I couldn’t fail this time. I wouldn’t.
The door clicked shut behind me, and I breathed in Chrome’s waning scent. I squeezed my eyes to ward off the suffocating emotions in my throat, but a tear forced its way out of the corner of my eye. I swiped it away—no more weakness.
The room remained exactly as Chrome had left it the day that Kinetics had attacked the Hollow.
This was where I slept now. I changed in my room, except when I wore his clothes to bed.
And I showered in my room, too. I didn’t want to disturb his space, because eventually, he’d return.
But I just needed to feel his presence. Or at least a ghost of it.
I walked to his chest of drawers and pulled out a t-shirt and some baggy sweats.
I’d shower first thing when I woke up. I was too exhausted and drained to do anything other than change and collapse on the bed.
I sniffled, wishing I’d had more time with him, regretting how I wasted my final day with him in anger before everything went to hell.
The horrid things that took place after the battle slithered up from my subconscious whenever I closed my eyes.
Hazel’s body, hanging from a self-made noose in the prisons.
Chrome’s broken eyes, pleading with me to understand his choice to deplete for that final time.
I ruminated over every way I could’ve avoided my father’s blade to my spine, which would’ve prevented all of this.
It’s all your fault. You did this, Gray.
Everything had gone so wrong when I accidentally transported myself to the King’s Palace following the battle. I still wasn’t sure how I managed to do it, and it irked me to no end that I hadn’t been able to do it again since returning home.
I sighed, the soft and loose fabric of Chrome’s clothing embracing me in the closest way I could currently get to him. His violin sat on a stand at the end table, conjuring the memory of that day I walked in and caught him playing.
Crawling into his bed, I pulled the covers up to my chin, focusing on the bond that tied us together. While still present, only silence answered me, along with a deep-seated hunger that continued to grow, seeking more power.
I needed to find him, and soon. When I woke, I planned to lock myself in Orion’s room for the day with The Book of the Arcane after debriefing him on everything that transpired during the battle.
Well, maybe everything. I hadn’t decided if I should inform him about the strange man from earlier.
I wasn’t even sure what I’d say. I’d met a Kinetic who wanted Chrome dead? How urgent.
There was something very familiar about Shadow that I knew for certain. His resemblance to Chrome was uncanny. I just hoped I could find a way to stop him from following through on his threat to carry out his vengeance.