Chapter 7 #2
The wind began to whip around me again, my dark and desolate emotions getting the best of me.
Two months of repressing had done nothing but wind me up so tight that I was cracking, on the verge of shattering.
“It’s all my fault! My father’s always been right, Slate!
” I shouted. “How is it I fuck up everything?” I clutched my chest, digging my fingers into the skin as if I could rip out my heart just to stop the pain.
Slate shook his head. “No, no. Don’t you dare give that shitty excuse of a man any more power over you.”
“But it’s true!” My voice was swallowed by the gusts while hot tears flowed down my cheeks.
“My mother is dead! Blaize is dead! Chrome is gone! Cotton and Scarlett are missing! And Hazel. Hazel, Slate! She died because of me.” My knees gave out, crashing to the field’s softened ground.
“She…she…” I dug my fingers into the dirt, desperate to ground myself.
“Shh…” Slate lowered himself to his knees before me. “I know, Gray. But it wasn’t because of you.”
“Yes, it was! It’s because she helped me escape—”
“No, Gray. It wasn’t that, Princess,” Slate said softly.
Slowly, I raised my head to meet his eyes. So many secrets hid behind them, I hardly recognized them anymore. “What do you mean?” I whispered, my stomach twisting.
Slate exhaled, bracing for what he was about to reveal. “When I left, we made a pact. If we were ever caught and imprisoned by Forest, then we’d take our own lives to protect the secrets we sacrificed everything for.”
“What?” I gasped, overwhelmed by such a shocking decision those two had made. Why did they think that suicide was the fucking answer? That was beyond extreme.
“Gray,” Slate demanded as if I should know the obvious. “You know your father would’ve tortured us until we gave up every single truth we held. We couldn’t let that happen. All would’ve been lost.”
I frowned, confused. “But if the insurgency happened years before, why would he kill you both over it years later? How would that have affected recent events?”
“He believed I was dead, and he needed to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to help Chrome from the shadows for as long as I have.
Since Hazel worked closely with Amethyst, she remained on the inside, serving as my informant regarding the King’s plans and dealings.
If he discovered Hazel’s treason, it would’ve risked everything and put your life, as well as many others, in danger.
Cotton and his father, for instance, or Smokey—”
“Smokey, too?” I’d never understood why he helped me escape from the Kinetic Palace after my father poisoned me on my birthday, but now, it made sense.
Slade dipped his chin in confirmation. “He wasn’t originally part of the insurgency, but he later stepped in to offer his help in the ways that he could.”
My entire existence at the Royal Domain had been a mirage, it seemed. Everyone I knew had lived a secret life beneath the surface. Did I truly know any of the people I’d grown to trust?
“You can see why Hazel couldn’t risk Forest finding out, even at that point.
Too many lives were at stake, as was the insurgency plan.
For so long, we’ve all been doing so much behind the scenes to ensure you stay alive, protected, and take your place as queen.
The only difference between the past and present is that now, you’re aware of it. ”
Once my element settled and Slate was assured that I was okay, he returned to the lodge to help the others in the aftermath of Chrome’s attack. Hours later, I found myself sitting on the boulder by the lake. I let the memories come.
The memory of throwing the black crystal necklace I’d wrongfully cherished my entire life into the water. The memory of finding Chrome standing there in the throes of his Endarkening, suffering in silence.
The memory of him taking me by the tree, when our bond first solidified.
The moment I knew he was my person—he had always been my person. It seemed like we’d known each other for lifetimes, had memories together that neither of us remembered, which spanned centuries. But they all felt so out of reach.
I felt ridiculous. If I wasn’t grieving one man, I grieved another.
How fucking pathetic. Not after tonight.
Tomorrow, I would wake to be the queen that the world needed, that Chrome and Slate believed me to be.
If everyone else could make such grand sacrifices, then so could I—no more pity parties.
But for now, I would allow myself to feel and mourn my losses. Suppression hadn’t gotten me anywhere but regression. Hadn’t I learned that the first time around? I decided to start meditating again to help manage my emotions, regain control over my element, and be mentally strong.
I couldn’t let Chrome’s, Hazel’s, Slate’s, and Blaize’s sacrifices be for nothing.
Leaning back on the rock, I stared up at the night sky, welcoming the memory of Chrome and me under the blanket of tree canopies during our journey to the Hollow after I fled the King’s Palace. “I love it when you say my name. Like it means something to you.”
I let the tears flow, releasing the pain so I could move forward. So I could find a way to rebuild the veil, restore Chrome, and unite the Kinetics and Elementals.
It could’ve been hours or minutes. I wasn’t sure, nor did I care. Not even when the splatters of rain began to meld with my tears in a light drizzle.
A deep male voice shattered the night’s serenity. “Gray.”
I startled, lost in my own world of emotions. I was too comfortable when Evil Chrome was out there murdering his own people mercilessly. I sat up enough to look behind me, spotting two silhouettes: one female and one male.
Onyx and Aella approached me and climbed onto the boulder I’d secretly claimed, both settling on either side of me. “Thought we’d sit with you,” Onyx said, clearing his throat as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his side.
“Thank you,” I whispered to both of them. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant and kind of a raging bitch lately.”
“You’re entitled to it after everything you’ve been through,” Aella said. “No one faults you for it.”
“No one but River,” I responded. “She blames me for Blaize’s death and for Chrome turning Infernal, which is so valid. None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t come here.”
“Gray, listen to me,” Onyx said, shifting my face to make me meet his eyes. “Everyone wanted you here.” He chuckled. “Aella, remember when I first arrived and all of you kept asking me if I knew the princess?”
I sat up straight, hiding a smile that peeked through as I looked at Aella, who shrugged shamelessly.
“Yeah, I remember.” She laughed wistfully, turning her attention to the stars.
“I remember hearing how fierce you were, just like Queen Lilly. Having Chrome here and the potential of having you as well brought us the hope that we could finally become a monarchy again, but things happen for a reason. And with everything that’s happened, it doesn’t mean that hope is lost. Just means there’s a greater purpose that we have yet to see.
We still believe in you. You’re our queen. ”
My heart warmed, thawing the ice that had formed over my heart when Chrome kissed me goodbye in the maelstrom of his destruction. I would bring him back. Back to his people, back to himself, and back to me. He would do nothing less if the roles were reversed.
“Thank you,” I said. “I really needed that.” Hugging my knees to my chest, I continued to sit with Onyx and Aella as the rain grew heavier. I let it drench me, imagining it cleansing the heaviness and negativity that I’d been clinging onto for the past two months.
The three of us hung out together until the rain slowed to a stop.
They took their leave, but I chose to stay behind for a bit longer to reflect on the day.
I decided that I didn’t forgive Slate yet for what he’d done, nor did I trust him wholly, but I wouldn’t shut him out completely.
He broke through to me earlier in the way only he could with his unyielding compassion and empathy.
I missed that more than anything about him.
His gentleness had always been something I’d treasured.
No amount of anger toward him would erase the fact that he knew me on a cellular level, despite how much we’d changed over the past few years. I knew he held more secrets about his time in Arcadia, but I wouldn’t push him for them until the time arose.
Until then, I needed him to help me with Chrome and the veil before Celanea did more damage to our world.
If only I could fade again. I would fade us all to another location—to safety. Any way that we planned to travel would expose us to either the Kinetics, the poisoned lands and twisted beasts of Arcadia that infiltrated our world, or Chrome himself.
Water drenched my clothes and hair, and the ensuing exhaustion took over. My mind felt clearer than it had in months, though. I exhaled a deep breath, ready to retreat to the Hollow, take a hot shower, and crawl into my bed. Not Chrome’s.
It must’ve been around two in the morning, given how long I’d sat out there. I got up, then lumbered back to the lodge, feeling like a wet sloth. Just before I broke through the tree line to enter the landscaped yard, I sensed it. Or rather, him—Shadow.
My muscles locked up, feeling vulnerable and exposed as I began to summon my element, allowing my electricity to surge to life. The hum of my power ignited within my veins.
“I wonder what would happen if I took you away right now.” The silken voice of Chrome’s adversary reached my ears. “Would he come for you?”
“I don’t need him or anyone else to protect me,” I said to the night air, waiting for the perplexing Kinetic to make himself visible. Most likely, he hid behind the absence of light that derived from his power.
“Record shows…” he murmured in my left ear, “that you do,” he finished in my right.
I clenched my teeth. “How did you get through the wards?” I asked, wondering if they’d fallen entirely yet.
“I fried them.”
My lips parted in horror. “You—what?”
“Microwave energy,” Shadow chuckled, materializing inches from my face. “What better way to draw Chrome out of the dark crevices than to threaten his precious Princess Gray by making him feel her fear?”
My Kinetic magic powered through me, electrified by rage, and without a second thought, I slapped my palm to his chest and released volts of my power into his body. He locked up before convulsing, veins in his forehead and neck bulging, then crashed to the ground.
I used my element to snatch the air from his lungs before using the wind to levitate him, carrying his limp body to the abandoned barn where we kept prisoners.
I didn’t doubt that Onyx had already felt the wards collapse and would soon be searching for me.
At least I’d have the culprit ready for us to interrogate.