Chapter 20 #2
“It does,” Slate reassured, his tone soft. “We were all very different versions of ourselves then. Including you. I had only just met you, but you were only a shell of the girl you grew into becoming.”
I reflected on the time and vividly remembered how suicidal I had been. My father had me so trapped and isolated from everyone. I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with any of them at the time, even if I’d wanted to. “You saved me that day.”
Slate sighed. “I did. But what you never knew was that it was Chrome who felt you dying.”
My breathing hitched. “What?”
“We had been training when he felt your life slipping away. He couldn’t go to you himself because your father and his parents had banned him from seeing you, so he sent me to save you.” Slate’s chest vibrated against my ear, his words magnified.
“That’s how you knew where to find me in the stairwell.” The pieces finally made sense.
Slate nodded. “But what you also don’t know is that I couldn’t stand the idea of you dying. Being gone. I couldn’t and wouldn’t let that happen.”
“But you barely knew me…”
“I know. I didn’t understand it. But from the first time I witnessed one of your public punishments, I couldn’t control myself whenever I saw you hurt, disrespected, or in danger.
A compulsion to protect you became my top priority,” Slate explained gently, unusually guarded as if trying to gauge his words.
“But—” I lifted my head to meet his eyes. He stared up at the sky, refusing to pull away. “Why?” I whispered.
Slate hedged on his answer. Silence pressed down on us. But at last, he responded. “Because I’m your Guardian, sworn to protect you with my life at all costs. We share a bond, too. Although I believe it’s only one-sided.”
I stared at the man I’d fallen in love with all those years ago when I’d only been fourteen.
I sat speechless, unsure of what to say.
My sleep-deprived mind struggled to process such a claim.
How was it possible for me to share two separate bonds with two men?
But then I remembered the vast and untested magic that originated from Arcadia, and I understood that it was a possibility. “How long have you known?”
“Since the night of Chrome and Peri’s funerals.”
A part of me felt betrayed; more long-held secrets regarding my life. But a much bigger part of me had never felt so safe and protected. Except with Chrome. And that was the dichotomy I found myself in.
I lay stiff against him, afraid that any movement would deter him from giving me more information. “So I have a—Guardian? Appointed by whom? And why?”
“You do. My soul is tethered to the vitality and safety of yours. So when I tell you that I will die so that you can live, they aren’t just words to make you feel better, baby,” Slate said, the old nickname slipping out for the second time in a twelve-hour period.
“The answer to your second question is one you might have a hard time believing.”
I frowned, trying to sift through the possibilities. “Well, we know it wouldn’t be my father…”
Slate laughed. “Hardly.”
“Then—”
“Angels.”
My eyebrows shot to my hairline. “Angels?”
Slate dipped his chin. “Yep.”
“Angels” was not on my bingo card of options. “I have so many more questions. I hope you know that,” I mumbled, my brain twisting and turning at a speed my fatigue physically couldn’t keep up with.
Slate chuckled before he rolled over on his side. “If you didn’t, I’d be wondering if you were okay.”
I huffed a laugh, glad he understood, but not surprised. “Be prepared for more questions when I wake.”
“I’ll have my answers crisp and ready to report.
” With a delicate touch, he swept a strand of fallen hair off the corner of my eye, offering me a clear view of him.
His short hair looked uncharacteristically messy, but it suited him.
He’d always been so handsome. So well-maintained, confident, yet humble.
The soft lines around his warm eyes melted my heart every time.
“Rest now, Gray. You’re safe. As is everyone else.” He grew blurrier and blurrier by the second, and my lids closed on their own accord, allowing me to fall into dreamless sleep before the sun even disappeared beneath the horizon.
I awoke gasping for air. Where the beginning of my sleep had started off dreamless, it quickly morphed into vivid nightmares that transformed from one violent scene to the next, each one ending in the death of all Elementals by Chrome’s hands.
A thin sheen of sweat drenched my skin. I couldn’t tell if it was due to the humidity or my nightmares.
Either way, I shivered when a breeze slithered down the collar of my shirt.
“It’s okay. Everyone’s safe, Gray.” Slate’s low murmur made me jump at the sudden sound.
I closed my eyes, hands firmly pressed to the soft blanket beneath me as I focused on easing my raging heart, grounding myself back to this reality and not the dreamworld.
“Breathe. Ground yourself to my voice, Princess.” Slate’s voice did just that, despite the fact that I’d seen his death in the dreams. Chrome had towered above him before draining his soul. Apathy sat in his stare as he watched his closest friend die.
“I can’t lose you again, Slate,” I gasped as I pressed my forehead between my knees.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He sounded so sure. How could he be?
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Not again,” I met him with, lifting my head to meet his eyes in the starlit darkness.
Slate’s mouth slackened at the same time as his eyes softened. “I won’t. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere again.”
“Not by choice. But what if Chrome kills you?” My heart shattered at the thought, at the haunting image of Chrome easily snuffing Slate’s life just when he’d come back…
“He won’t.”
“No offense, Slate,” I said softly. “But he’s a lot more powerful than you.”
Slate smirked. “If that’s what you think, then you misunderstand the entire Guardian Bond, Gray. How am I supposed to protect you if your Twin Soul can easily take me out? That doesn’t make much sense now, does it?”
I scrunched my eyebrows. “But you’re a Kinetic, and your ability isn’t offensive…”
Slate’s crooked grin spread, and a laugh swiftly followed. “Oh, baby. I’m not just a Kinetic. I’m part-Angel, too.” He held his palm outstretched, and a few seconds later, a silvery light, the same one he’d displayed earlier in front of River, began to glow.
I stared in a mix of shock and confusion. “How?”
“It doesn’t matter. But I’m not weak, Gray. Never have been. I have to hide my abilities, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t there.” He closed his palm into a fist, snuffing out the silver light.
The inside of my cheek began to ache from where I chewed it. “What can you do then?”
“Now isn’t the time for show and tell, but I’m sure you’ll see some of my abilities sooner rather than later.” Relief washed through his eyes. I couldn’t imagine the weight of such a long-held secret. His shoulders relaxed. “What do you need from me? What can I do to help?”
I clasped my fingers together, squeezing them tight in my lap. Feeling like the small, broken version of my teenage self again, I shrugged. “Just hold me?”
One side of Slate’s mouth inched up as he held an arm out.
Without thought, I crawled toward him, burrowing my cheek into his chest. His corded arms banded around my shoulders, applying just enough pressure to ensure I was safe but not a prisoner.
I breathed him in, inhaling the sandalwood scent that had always calmed me in the past.
“Your heart is beating so fast. Are you okay?” My voice was muffled against the fabric of his shirt, so I was unsure if he understood what I said.
Slate inhaled through his nose, slow and deep as if to settle his heart rate. “I’ve missed this so much. I didn’t think it would ever happen again. To be able to hold you like this against me.”
With my shoulder, I nudged him, signaling for him to lie backward on his pallet.
Slate’s body tensed, but he complied as we comfortably reclined onto our backs.
I twisted onto my side, resting my cheek over his heart.
Muscle memory took over as I traced my forefinger down the center of his sternum and back up again.
It was an old habit, something I’d do to silence my mind years ago.
The gesture came instinctively to me until I registered the more defined cuts within his muscles in his abdomen.
Suddenly, my heart spiked, causing me to pause my movement.
“Don’t stop,” Slate mumbled. “It’s so relaxing.”
My breath grew shaky, but I slowly began trailing my fingertip lightly over the front of his torso and chest, a warmth spreading throughout my body.
Several minutes passed, and we both fought to suppress our breaths.
In a way, it felt like Slate had returned from a long-awaited return, and we were simply picking up where we’d left off.
Thoughts of Chrome lingered, but it would’ve been a lie to say that I didn’t crave a reprieve from his haunting eyes.
I needed a distraction. To escape my mind again.
Slowly, I tested the waters by guiding my fingertip up past Slate’s sternum and along his throat.
The stubble on his chin had grown longer than I’d ever remembered seeing it.
Not quite soft, yet not coarse either. When I inched my fingertip over his bottom lip, he gasped, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.
The memory of his lips pressed against mine felt so tangible, like no time had passed at all.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he would kiss me in the same way he had in the past. Or would it be different?
“Kiss me,” I whispered, not quite understanding where this was all coming from.
Slate’s head jerked to the side as he searched for any hidden traps I might be laying.
I slid my palm along his cheek, caressing the stubble there as I refamiliarized myself with him.
The yearning in his eyes emboldened me further. I gripped the spot at the back of his neck just below his hairline, pulling his face closer to mine. Our breaths danced together, twining around one another until they formed a unique design of their own.
Closure. I needed closure from him. Even though Chrome and I had something special beyond words or comprehension, it never could heal the part of me that lost Slate.
He’d been my lifeline for so long, my best friend.
My Guardian. I never got to say goodbye.
Not just to him, but to the old part of myself that died when he disappeared. “Kiss me like you mean it, Slate.”
The willpower he’d been desperately holding onto crumbled as he collapsed, his lips taking mine hostage.
He lifted himself up with one arm while lying on his side, sweeping his fingers through my hair at my temples.
He guided me to where he could gain better access as he pushed my mouth open with his, taking my bottom lip between his teeth.
Our kiss never broke, one movement slipping into the next. I took his tongue and sucked it, remembering how much he had liked that before. A groan came from his throat, prompting me to sit up to give him more.
Slate’s kisses grew more fervent, more desperate, as he tugged on my hair to angle my head to the side.
Warmth set me alight from within, radiating from my chest and outward.
When his lips began to rediscover all the most sensitive parts of my neck, I fought to hide the moan.
Apparently, that was the wrong move, because Slate’s tongue flicked out, licking down the column of my throat at a torturous pace, just before he stopped at my collarbone.
“I miss your sounds. I need to hear them.” He pressed a series of soft kisses across my shoulder. “But there are people around. So you gotta stay quiet.”
Dazed, I nodded, absorbing every bit of pleasure he had to give my starved body and soul.
“You think you can manage that, Princess?” he asked, hovering his mouth just above my skin, his warm breath skating over the spot I desperately needed his attention instead.
“Yes. Quiet. Got it.”
“Good. You always took my instruction so fucking well, baby,” he said as he leaned back, sending a jolt of frustration through me.
The frustration died away when he took the hem of my shirt, lifted it over my head, and tossed it to the side.
It wasn’t the first time Slate had ever seen my body, not by any stretch of the imagination. But it felt like it. His gaze seemed to absorb every inch of me, taking it in as if he were committing it to memory. “I never thought you could get more beautiful, but I believe you’ll forever amaze me.”
I sat up on my knees, leveling him with a challenging stare, daring him to take this further.
Slate cocked a crooked grin and chuckled. “What do you want, Gray? Tell me. I need to be sure you truly want this. The last thing I want is to cause you any guilt or remorse. I’ve done enough harm to you already.”
“I want you to remind me why it’s okay for me to still love you, even though I am madly in love with Chrome, too.
I’d go to hell and back for him. I still plan to save him.
But I’d do the same for you.” My bottom lip quivered.
“But most importantly, I need you to silence my mind. To remind me how strong I am.” What I really needed was comfort and some slice of normalcy.
And being lost in Slate, especially given how things had ended between us, seemed like the best option.
Slate’s shoulders vibrated with restraint.
“Anything for you,” he whispered, staying conscious of the others sleeping nearby.
“But first, I need you to know that for all those years, I held back on you. I couldn’t in good conscience give you all of me, knowing that you belonged to my cousin, especially since you were in the dark about so much.
But tonight, now that you know everything… I won’t be holding back.”