Chapter Four
-DECLAN-
Ironically, given that Stewart and I had been talking about King Alexander while breaking our fast, word arrived while we were eating that he would soon arrive with none other than Laird Gustav MacGreggor.
He had fought with our king at the Battle of Largs and was as well favored by our liege as my father and me, so it should be no surprise, yet still, I couldn’t help but wonder.
Had Gustav nudged the king in this direction so that he might see Astrid?
Or, worse yet, was it because someone had seen Soren, and the king was suspicious?
Either way, more on edge than ever, I had sought out Father to warn him, only to find him in his chambers bathed, dressed, and greatly improved, much to my relief.
“You must fetch Astrid,” Father counseled. “She should be present upon the king’s arrival, given we are supposed to marry.”
“Will marry now,” I forced myself to say, despite how odd the thought of it sounded. She would be his, and it was better that way. It had to be better because I couldn’t be with her. Could not give her the sort of life she might long for.
“Look at you, Da,” I continued, managing my first smile in some time at his improved color and lack of cough, glad to see him regaining his strength.
Though I wouldn’t admit it, I was equally pleased that Astrid had seen after him so well.
“Things arenae as dour as you thought them, after all, and I couldnae be more grateful to see it.”
“Mayhap not,” he conceded, meeting my smile. “Astrid saw after me every bit as well as she did Soren.” He grinned at her white husky. “Oksana heeds well her mistress, staying behind when Astrid told her to, despite how much I know she longs to be by her mistress's side once more, protecting her.”
Not for the first time since crossing paths with Oksana, she sat steadily watching not my father but me with the same pale blue eyes as Astrid’s, as if she understood more than I ever would, in a wise way that made me wonder what she was thinking.
A trait she did not share with her mistress, as Astrid excelled at making herself clear to me.
“And did Astrid remain by your side all night?” I wondered, already knowing the answer before I asked. It was clear enough how much she cared for my father.
“Aye, sleeping in the chair beside me,” my father confirmed, an affectionate gleam in his gaze when he looked at said chair. His gaze returned to me, and a small smile curled his mouth. “Yet all she did was murmur of you in her sleep. Worry about you.”
“Why would she worry about me?” I said gruffly, frustrated by the leap of my heart.
The hope I shouldn’t feel, because where did it belong?
Not to me. Never to me. We were separate creatures despite our draw to each other.
She would be marrying my father, and I would only ever despise her kind.
I needed to remember that even when tempted to ask what she said of me in her sleep.
“Why would she worry about you?” My father shook his head and kept grinning, patting me on the shoulder in passing. “Whether you’re ready to admit it to yourself or not, I think you well know the answer to that, and it does my heart good. Now go fetch her and bring her belowstairs.”
Not surprisingly, Oksana trotted after Father, as I headed for Astrid’s chamber, more confused than ever about all of this.
Why did Father still act like we would marry when he was clearly on the mend?
It was odd and unsettling, and I intended to ask Astrid about it, but much to my dismay, I’d found her chamber empty.
More than alarmed, fearing something had happened to her, I tried not to panic at her absence. Had one of the few trusted servants who knew what happened with Soren turned on us and handed her over to my fellow Scots?
Fighting a surge of unexpected emotion, I shook my head and tried to think reasonably. Be logical. Not to think with my stark fear for her wellbeing, making my heart slam in my chest as if I were no hardened warrior but a lovesick fool. Where else might Astrid naively go? What might draw her away?
Only one place came to mind.
So, I headed down the very stairs we had traveled the night before, doing my best not to worry about her, but it wasn't easy. Rumor might claim she’d descended from infamous warriors and was a shield-maiden herself, but I had yet to see her fight and could hardly imagine it.
She was too slight of frame. Too gentle with her healing touch to be capable of harming another.
Envisioning her harmed was easy enough, though, and there would be nothing gentle about it, so I was never so relieved, and then furious when I found her safe with Florie in her cottage.
As Astrid and I exchanged our usual sharp barbs, I fought the urge to yank her into my arms and never let go.
To keep her safe from all those who meant her harm because there were bound to be plenty in these parts, however liked she might be by the locals.
Too liked, as it turned out, and it could very well put her beyond my reach and into hands that meant her harm that she hadn't seen coming.
“King Alexander and Laird Gustav MacGreggor will be arriving within the next few hours, and Da would have you presentable in the great hall with him when they do,” I made clear to Astrid. “So, you need to return with me now and dinnae wander off alone again.”
“Och,” Florie muttered under her breath, handing Astrid a piece of bannock she pulled out of a basket. “She will break her fast first, Declan.” She looked at me in question. “Are you hungry?” She handed me a cup of mead. “Do you want a piece as well?”
“Nay, I ate with Stewart.” I drank down half the mead and set it aside. “Come, Astrid. You can eat your bannock on the way back to the castle.”
“Lord almighty, Declan,” Florie exclaimed, shaking her head. “Thus far, the Norse here in the village have been treated friendly enough, and Astrid is well liked by us Scots, so I dinnae—”
“Nay, you dinnae,” I agreed, cutting her off, in no mood to banter with her too.
“But you should if you’ve heard anything of the battle that took place so verra close to us and the renewed anger churning in our countrymen.
In our king himself. Whilst I can only hope the Norse among us are safe for now, Astrid is the daughter of a powerful Norwegian earl, so more vulnerable than most.” I looked at my friend in warning.
“I shouldnae need to elaborate for you to ken my meaning.”
I could tell by the troubled look in Florie’s eyes when she glanced at Astrid that she very much did.
“I can defend myself,” Astrid assured us both, seeming as calm and collected when speaking of unthinkable things as she was when healing someone. “You both forget who and what I am.”
“Nevertheless,” Florie said, finally siding with me.
“Declan makes a good point. ‘Twill comfort me to know you are married to one of our own soon and less susceptible to certain types of trouble.” Her telling gaze leveled on me.
“To know you will be protected by those who would never let harm befall you, Astrid, however much they might say they dislike your people.”
Something about the way she looked at me told me she knew more than she should.
Or, better put, saw my feelings for Astrid clearly enough.
Feelings that were becoming increasingly difficult to control, no matter how hard I tried.
That in mind, as difficult as it may be, I could only hope the king was here to call me away on business after Astrid married my father, so she no longer tempted me.
“All right, then,” Astrid finally agreed, issuing a sad little sigh. She looked around at her cottage with remorse that she had to leave again so soon, before embracing Florie. “Take care, my friend, and don’t worry about me. All will be well.”
Holding Astrid for a moment longer, Florie shot me a look that it better be before tucking several more pieces of bannock, including the one Astrid had yet to eat, into a satchel and handing it over.
“Something to eat back at the castle whilst you prepare to greet the king.” She eyed Astrid with worry.
“I know how much you like my bannock, so I expect you to eat it all lest you grow too slight.” She shook her head and ushered us along.
“Always tending to others but never to yourself.”
Keeping quiet lest anyone overhear us, Astrid and I made our way back through the woodland toward the castle with colorful leaves raining down around us in an ever-gustier wind bound to blow in another storm.
Based on the chilly bite to the air, we might very well see snow, which could keep the king and Gustav here longer than I had hoped.
Typically, I would enjoy Alexander’s company, but things were far too precarious right now.
Rather than linger in the small hall off the back entrance like we had the previous evening and risk wanting to kiss her, I headed directly upstairs, and we went our separate ways.
I felt confident she wouldn’t wander again anytime soon.
Not now that things had just become even more dangerous for her, with warriors soon arriving who might have very well fought against her brother by marriage in battle so recently.
“There you are,” my father exclaimed when I joined him in the great hall soon after. Fresh rushes had been laid, and the castle was abustle preparing for the king’s arrival. Fires on the two great hearths had recently been tended and crackled invitingly, warming the spacious area well.
“Aye,” I muttered, joining him at the head trestle table where he picked at his food rather than eating robustly to regain his strength. “That lass doesnae know what’s good for her half the time.”
When Father arched an eyebrow at me in curiosity, I elaborated.