Chapter 14
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“What are you doing up at this hour?” Mariah asked when Garret strolled into the dining room at what he generally considered an ungodly hour. His sister was seated before a plate with a seemingly forgotten scone. In one hand she held a cup of tea, and in the other, a novel.
“I couldn’t sleep.” He slid into the chair opposite Mariah and signaled to Dawkins for coffee. “Where is everyone else?” He glanced about at the empty chairs.
Mariah set her novel on the table, keeping her finger between the pages to save her place. “The boys are still abed, Papa left early to ride in the park, and I believe Mama is breakfasting in her bedchamber.”
“So that’s why you’re reading at the table.”
Her cheeks turned pink. With her coloring, any slight blush was very apparent, and the boys used to like to tease her just to see color flood her face.
This time she blushed because she’d been caught.
Their parents had outlawed reading at the dining table, as Liam and Mariah used to sneak books under the table and stare at the novel in their laps instead of engaging in conversation.
Dawkins presented Garret the cup of coffee then left them alone.
“Did you come down to chastise me?” she asked.
“No. I came down because I tired of staring at my ceiling.”
She put her chin in her hand. “What’s troubling you?”
Garret studied the girl. She was uncommonly pretty with her large green eyes fixed on him and her strawberry blond hair falling in curls over one shoulder. She also looked so very young.
“You wouldn’t understand, Moppet.”
She made a face as though she’d eaten something revolting. “Fine.” She lifted her book again and began to read. On the sideboard a bracket clock ticked loudly as seconds then minutes passed. Mariah turned a page.
“It’s not wrong to read a book at the table,” Garret said to himself. Mariah lifted her eyes from the page then raised the book to cover her face. “Mama and Papa made a rule banning books from the table, but that rule wasn’t based on a moral imperative. It was just a preference.”
Mariah turned another page and continued to read.
“Society has all sorts of rules that have no moral imperative behind them. For example, no boots at Almack’s. There’s no real reason for that rule.”
“I think the ladies whose toes might be tread upon by men dancing in boots might disagree.”
“But you take my point?”
She lowered her book. “Hard to tell. I have such limited understanding.”
“I apologize. You are probably smarter than Killian, Liam, and me combined.”
“Obviously.” She smiled. “Now, what is the real reason you cannot sleep? It’s not because boots are banned from Almack’s. You’ve never even been invited to Almack’s.”
He shrugged. “Just thinking.”
“It sounds as though you have been thinking about doing something Society would not approve of.”
He met her gaze. “And if I were?”
She raised her brows. “I confess I am surprised. You are not typically one to break the rules.”
“I don’t care so much about Society’s rules except that poor behavior on my part would reflect badly on our family. I don’t like to disappoint Mama and Papa, and I don’t want to hurt your chances of securing a good match.”
She blinked and set her book aside. “You have been thinking about this a great deal.”
“I didn’t sleep at all last night. I thought I’d made a decision, but I can’t quite reconcile myself to it.”
“Do you want to tell me more specifically what the matter is? I assume it’s something to do with a woman.”
Garret almost choked on his coffee. “Why would you think that?”
“I didn’t until you had that reaction.” She leaned forward. “Have you fallen in love with a courtesan or perhaps a married woman?”
“No. I mean to say, this has nothing to do with a female.”
She sat back and seemed to consider. “Well, whatever it is, I know when I am faced with a dilemma, sometimes I feel better when I turn the problem on its head.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning maybe you’re thinking about this all the wrong way. You’re worried about what Mama and Papa and I will think of you instead of considering that we all just want you to be happy. That’s what you and the boys say you want for me, yes?”
“I doubt you’ll be happy if I ruin your chances of a good match.”
She waved a hand. “As though marriage is the only thing that matters to me. Perhaps I’ll never marry. I’ve lived with four brothers, and let me tell you, leg-shackling myself to another man for eternity isn’t as appealing as you think.”
Garret smiled. “We make spinsterhood look appealing?”
“Quite.”
“Do you plan to eat that scone?” he asked.
She looked down at her plate. “Yes. Now go away so I might finish this chapter. Go ask your courtesan to marry you. Then I’ll be free of one of you, at least.”
Garret rose. “I might just do it, you know.”
“I’ll gather my smelling salts just in case.” She opened her book again, and Garret trudged out of the dining room.
He thought about going to see Tamsin. In fact, he began to walk in the direction of the pawnshop.
Somehow, he found himself at the Blue Boar instead.
He ordered another coffee and turned the full cup about on the table until finally Dolfy and Radcliffe strolled in.
Dolfy made a show of rubbing his eyes. “Radcliffe, do mine eyes deceive me or is that the fabled Garret Kildare?” Dolfy elbowed Radcliffe, who was smiling at Garret.
“You’re still not amusing, Dolfy,” Garret said, rising to shake hands with his friends.
“Surprised you remember. We haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I’m here now. Sit down and catch me up.”
Garret took his seat and prepared to be entertained for the rest of the day. His friends would distract him from Tamsin Archer and all the rest of his problems. He hadn’t seen Dolfy or Radcliffe much since his father’s summons and pronouncement, and he’d missed them. Hadn’t he?
Unfortunately, as the morning wore on, Garret began to realize he did not miss his friends as much as he’d expected.
They told the same old stories, made the same quips, and engaged in the same raucous behavior.
Had he really spent his days like this the past few years?
Had he thought it hilarious to watch drunk men attempt to stand on their heads?
Had he actually wasted his money placing bets on whether a cat on the street would cross or run off the other way?
“Red,” one of his friends called. “Time for Tower o’ Tankards!”
“Eight! Eight! Eight!” his other friends began to chant.
“Today is your day,” Dolfy announced, standing on a chair. “I can feel it.” He took a large gulp of air then doubled over choking.
Garret half smiled at his friend. Perhaps he should join in the spirit of the afternoon.
Perhaps today was his day to balance eight tankards.
But then he imagined Tamsin walking in the door.
She would be disgusted by the wastefulness of Garret’s friends.
People were starving, and Garret’s friends were throwing money away on tankards of ale that would end up on the floor.
“What do you say, old boy, old chap?” Dolfy said.
“Maybe another time.”
His friends booed and hissed, but they soon found another diversion. Dolfy took a seat at the table where Garret sat. “Why the long face, Red? You look as though your grandmother died.”
“Nothing so serious as that,” Garret said, taking a sip of his drink to show he was as jovial as anyone.
“Usually, you’re right in the middle of things.”
Garret shrugged. “I suppose I never realized how idiotic we all are.”
Dolfy raised both brows. “Westerley been scolding you?” he asked, speaking of Liam.
“No, but I spent the last few days driving about Town, and I suppose my eyes were opened.”
“To what?”
“To all the children without shoes and the women who’ll do anything for a piece of bread and”—he shook his head—“the chimney sweeps. They’re just children and they risk life and limb for a pittance.”
“And what do you think you can do to change any of that?”
Garret sighed. “Not a thing.” This was the problem, wasn’t it? Reformers had been trying to make the city better for decades—for centuries, probably. And nothing ever changed. Not for the masses of poor whose lives were a daily struggle just to survive.
He’d tried to make a difference in one life, and he hadn’t even succeeded there.
Tamsin and her mother had lost the position they’d had, were now sleeping on the floor of a pawnshop, and he hadn’t brought her any closer to finding her sister and brother.
She might have been better off if he’d just left well enough alone.
She certainly seemed to think so. She was probably glad never to have to see him again.
“There’s that look again,” Dolfy said. “Stop wallowing and come join us.” He smacked Garret on the back.
Garret hesitated. He could either go back to the way he’d been and behave like a fool with his friends—maybe he could forget Tamsin Archer for a few hours—or he could accept that his old life didn’t appeal to him any longer.
He wanted something else. Something more…
The door to the public house slammed open, and two boys raced in, shouting.
Garret might have ignored them if they weren’t so obviously broomers.
Both were covered in soot and sported the red-rimmed eyes all climbing boys seemed to have.
He was moving toward them even as one of the boys called his name.
“Mr. Kildare? Is there a Mr. Kildare here?”
“I’m Kildare.” Garret bent on a knee in front of the boys. “What’s wrong? Is it Tamsin Archer?”
“She sent us for you, sir,” one of the boys said. “Will you come right away?”
“Kildare, come join us!” Dolfy called, and the invitation was echoed by a few other men.
“Go on without me!” Garret waved at his friends then turned back to the broomers. “Lead the way. You can tell me what’s happened as we walk.”