Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHLOE
Golden sunlight winks through the slatted blinds on Ethan’s bedroom window, announcing a new day. I slip out of bed and tiptoe through the kitchen, giving Kat a scratch behind her ear on my way out.
Back in my house, I throw on my bathing suit, careful to keep my gaze from slipping to that nefarious dark spot on my arm as I tug on my wetsuit.
Most people would probably skip the surfing session on a day like today, but it’s important to keep busy. Do the things you love for as long as you’re able. You never know when all of it will change.
When I get back, I shower off the salt and sand and head inside to slip into my cutest sundress. Look good, feel good. It’s all about mindset with these things.
At least that’s what I tell myself.
Really, it’s about controlling what I can and ignoring what I can’t.
Rick appears from the spare room, scratching his scruffy face. “Morning, kiddo.”
“Hey, Rick.” I really don’t have the energy to deal with him right now.
“Bill down at the hardware store has been asking about payment for the lumber and supplies for the pergola. Normally I’d use my line of credit, but…” He winces.
But Rick’s credit is shot.
“How much is it?” I ask.
“Five grand.”
Whew, that’s steep. “Give me a sec.” I head into my room and drag out the box in the back of my closet to retrieve my emergency stash. I count out five thousand dollars, return the box, then give Rick the cash on my way out the door.
I remind him to get a receipt, and he ambles to the kitchen, probably in search of the coffee I brewed earlier.
No matter what the doctor says today, at least I have the new outdoor area at Mugs to look forward to.
I step onto my porch, pull the door closed behind me, and nearly run smack-dab into Ethan’s chest.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” I chirp, hoping the tension coiling in my stomach doesn’t register on my face.
His expression gives nothing away as he watches me through eyes that see too much. “I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” he says. “You left early, so I assumed you had to work, but your bike and car were both in the driveway when I looked out.”
“Fear not, Mr. Punctuality. Willow is opening at Mugs this morning so I can go to my—the grocery store.” Nearly slipped up there. Stupid nerves.
He takes a step back, allowing me to pass. “I might come along, if that’s all right?” he asks, trailing behind me. “I could use a few things for the house, especially if I plan on entertaining a certain guest. One who’s apparently fueled by Lucky Charms and books about aliens.”
That’s sweet of him, but also… shit. He’s going to ruin my perfectly valid excuse for where I have to be this morning with his sweetness. Why couldn’t he go back to being grumpy and unsociable just for one more morning?
“What do you need? I can pick it up for you. I’m sure you’re busy, anyway.”
His hand grazes my elbow. “Are you trying to avoid me?”
“No!” Okay, Chloe, tone down the shrillness. “No,” I repeat, calmer this time. “Not at all. If you want to come to the grocery store with me, that would be just fine.”
He glances up at the cloudless sky. “Fine. Wow. Try to keep that excitement contained.”
“Sorry. It would be wonderfully amazing. So incredible. Can’t wait.”
I knock my hip against the door to get it open, then slide the seat forward while he folds himself into the passenger side. Barely.
If only there was time to go to the grocery store and then bring him back home before my appointment. Unfortunately, I took my time getting ready, and it’ll be tight as it is.
Maybe he won’t notice if I do a little pit stop at the dermatology clinic?
Who am I kidding? This guy is a foreman. He’s literally paid to notice even the tiniest details.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, staring at me from the passenger seat, his knees pressed against the glovebox.
“Yeah. Of course. Why?”
“Because you just passed the grocery store,” he says, his head swinging back to glance at it.
Guess there’s no point lying anymore. He’s going to put two and two together soon enough. “I need to swing by the doctor’s really fast for an appointment. You can take the car to the grocery store while I’m inside. It shouldn’t take too long at all.”
I don’t need to look at him to know he’s frowning. My suspicions are confirmed when I pull into the parking lot, where “Rhea’s Dermatology” is printed in giant red letters on the sign.
Ethan’s skin pales a touch as his eyes flick to me. “What’s going on? Have you got a check-up?”
My smile is beginning to crack, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
I hate it here. Hate it so much that it feels like my heart is going to explode from my chest. “Nothing’s going on.
” I can’t bring myself to lie again and tell him it’s just a routine appointment.
Somehow, I don’t think he’d believe me anyway.
“Chloe, look at me,” he says gently.
I grip the steering wheel tighter, trying my best to get a hold on my feelings. “We don’t have to do this, Ethan.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend to care about this sort of stuff. We’re just hooking up. Purely casual.”
He presses his lips together and says nothing, which is probably for the best. I don’t need to hear his thoughts about this, because I’ve got plenty of my own.
The moment I said those words, they felt like ash on my tongue.
Ethan and I have never made any promises to each other, but this thing between us feels like more than just hooking up. More than a casual fling.
I toss the key into his lap and knock my knee against the door to unstick it, then get out of the car, confused when he emerges as well.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
He closes the door behind him and starts for the sidewalk. “Coming with you.”
“There’s no need. I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me. You’re clearly not. And that’s okay. You don’t have to smile through absolutely everything.”
Here’s the thing about being called “Sunshine” for most of your life: people expect you to be happy all the time.
Most days, I am.
But sometimes, weird moles get into your head, or the doctor calls to confirm your worst fears and your smile gets lost. When you’re a naturally sunny person, folks don’t want to know you so much on the days when your mood is cloudy. When you’re feeling stormy.
Ethan, though… he looks like he might not mind.
That man is a storm cloud on the best of days. He knows that life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.
With him, I remind myself, I don’t need to pretend.
He follows silently just behind me as I make my way toward the sliding glass doors.
Nila, the receptionist, waves at me from behind her desk at the intake counter. “Hey, Chloe. Take a seat and Dr. Rhea will be right with you.”
I swipe my hands down my skirt, but the clamminess remains. Ethan sits next to me, one foot thrown over his knee, his arm across the back of my chair, looking as steady as ever.
“You don’t have to do this,” I say.
His eyes don’t leave mine. “Maybe I want to.”
“Why?”
Something deepens in his gaze, but before he can answer, the nurse calls me back into the room. I stand, take a deep breath, and—
Ethan grabs my hand, giving my fingers a squeeze.
I steal some of his strength before letting his hand fall and following the nurse through the door.