Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
ETHAN
I couldn’t tell you what time I woke this morning, totally disoriented and expecting to hear the distant crash of the ocean instead of the wail of police sirens.
For the first time in who knows how long, I didn’t set an alarm.
Given I already saw Mom and Dad after I got in last night, there isn’t really anything to jump out of bed for.
Except—I jerk upright and grab my phone.
Shit, I was so tired when I hit the sack that I forgot to plug the damn thing in. My charger’s still buried in my suitcase.
Padding into the cold kitchen, my gaze lands on the oven clock. Wow, it’s almost eleven. I must still be exhausted from all the work I knocked out at Inner Shores. I still can’t quite believe I pulled it off, especially after my mind got hung up on something else.
Fuck, don’t think about her.
Every time I do, it’s like an invisible giant kicks me in the guts.
With a piece of toast smeared with peanut butter between my teeth, I plug in my phone and fire it up.
Usually, a bunch of notifications would ping in quick succession, but since I disabled them all, there’s only one.
It’s a voicemail, sent sometime yesterday. I press play and bring the phone to my ear.
The second I hear her voice, my eyes close and my heart starts pounding.
She doesn’t sound mad… or in love with some frat boy named Steve.
Chloe’s voice is warm, but sad, and she says she misses me.
As I set the phone down, a torrent of conflicting emotions presses on my temples.
In a way, it’d almost be easier if she’d left a message calling me an asshole for leaving so quickly.
Now, I still feel like shit, but almost worse than before.
Everything between us feels so unfinished and abandoned… like a mistake that’s being made in slow-motion.
I shake off the doom and gloom. Surely Chloe and I just need a bit of time to forget each other. In the grand scheme of things, we were only together for the blink of an eye.
Is that what we were? Together?
Not officially. But that doesn’t mean we weren’t in every sense of the word.
Once I’ve finished my toast and fired up the coffee machine with some dark roast I’d stashed in the freezer, I swallow a fluttery ball of nerves and call Chloe back.
It rings five times, then goes to voicemail. “Hi, this is Chloe. I’m chasing waves or coffee. Leave a message!”
Shit—do I leave one?
BEEP.
I hang up. Fuck. Will she know I called?
Trying again right now would make me look like a douche, so I shoot her a text instead, saying I tried to call her back and that I miss her too.
Before I can overthink it, I press Send. That should do it.
Chloe doesn’t usually work Sundays, so she probably is chasing waves on her surfboard. What was it called again? Benedict? Reginald?
Boom. Gut-kick.
There’s also a text on my phone from Leo—a meme about a cat and a foreman. As funny as it is, it sends me right back to Kat. I rub the knot in my chest. I hope she’s doing all right at the shelter and getting a ton of belly scratches.
I tap out a reply to Leo, letting him know I’m back in town. It was already on my list of things to do today. My chat with Chloe about my stupid, awkward shit around Leo replays in my head, and I add a note saying it’d be great to get together soon.
He replies right away, saying he’s thrilled I’m back, and that he and his wife are hosting a BBQ today for a few friends. They’d love for me to pop over.
I catch my bottom lip between my teeth. I haven’t seen Leo face-to-face for a couple of months because of my dumb guilt, but I miss the absolute heck out of him, and for some reason, he seems to feel the same about me.
Before replying, though, I shoot Gray a text, just in case he wants to meet up. Mom and Dad told me last night they’re almost ready for the movers, and the whole thing is making me feel as empty as the space around me. I kind of want to share some of that with my brother.
Gray replies after a few minutes, apologizing: he’s at the races, which has been locked in for weeks.
He sends a photo, all suited up like a male model with his arm wrapped around some stunning blonde I don’t know and probably never will.
Gray’s a textbook serial dater who doesn’t do relationships.
I’ve never been against having a gorgeous woman in my bed, no strings attached, but looking at Gray’s life now, I don't think I’d trade places with him.
That said, he looks as happy as I’ve ever seen him, and that makes a big brother feel damn proud.
I thumb back to Leo’s last message.
ME
Thanks, man, I’d love to swing by.
He replies soon after.
LEO
Sweet!
The weight sitting on my chest lifts, and I get up and grab my keys.
Not wanting to show up empty-handed, I swing by the gourmet supermarket and grab some extra-spicy Italian sausages and a big cilantro chimichurri salad.
Parties where I don’t know many people are my idea of hell, so I arrive at Leo’s with a twinge of dread. I’d give anything to have Chloe by my side right now, her fingers laced through mine, reminding me that it’s okay to relax and let myself have a good time.
The front door is open, and a pop song drifts through the empty house from the backyard.
Through the glass doors, I spot Leo beside the accessible BBQ, a pair of tongs in hand, his head thrown back with laughter.
The guttural sound draws a smile to my face, and I step outside. Thank God, there’s only a handful of people here. One of them I recognize as Leo’s sister, and his son, Isaac, is in the yard with a friend, soaked from the water balloons they’re hurling at each other.
“Here he is, the lazy lump who just spent a month by the beach,” Leo calls out, his smirk aimed at me. “The proof’s in the hair.”
I tuck a wayward curl behind my ear and step over to him, leaning in for a one-armed hug.
“How are you, brother?” I ask. Fuck, I can’t stop beaming at him. Until now, I hadn’t realized just how much I’ve missed this guy.
“I’m good, I’m good. Thanks for coming. How was the drive back?”
“Long.”
Leo’s wife comes up behind me with a beer and a sweet-smelling hug. I exchange the drink for the food I brought, and Leo introduces me to everyone, keeping one eye on the BBQ.
Half a beer later, I’m sitting beside him with my legs outstretched in the sun, catching him up on my time in Inner Shores. Everything except Chloe. I know if I bring her up, Leo’s going to say things I’m not ready to hear. The guy can read me like a book.
We talk a bit about what he’s been up to—mostly surface-level stuff—and I help out with the BBQ until it’s time to eat.
His friends that arrive are thankfully easy to chat with, and before I know it, they’ve all said their goodbyes, leaving Leo and me on the back deck as the sun hangs low in the sky.
“It’s really good to see you,” he says again, lifting his water bottle to his mouth. “When do you go back to work?”
I groan. “Don’t remind me. Michael wants me there tomorrow.” I fill him in on the drama with the other foreman, and how I’ve been called in earlier than expected.
A small smirk tugs at his lips. “I can see why you’re not exactly counting the hours to get back.”
I sit up straighter, reminded that I have the luxury of returning to a job I’ve done for years, while he can’t. Man, I can be such a thoughtless idiot.
Leo shakes his head before I can reply. “I don’t blame you,” he says. “I miss working, but I don’t miss being on those building sites.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, man. I hated that shit.” He laughs. “The hours, the noise, the dirt everywhere. And don’t get me started on the cubs these days. They hammer one nail and expect a promotion.”
One corner of my mouth lifts. “It hasn’t been the same lately, that’s for sure.”
Leo meets my gaze, and I hope he can read what I mean. It’s been tough working those grubby building sites without him there, cracking inside jokes and sharing the headaches.
“We had some good times,” he says.
A lump rises in my throat as he gives me a wistful smile. I sense an opportunity that may not come around again.
“Leo...”
He sits forward slightly.
“I…” My voice snags in my throat. “I want to say I’m… I’m sorry.”
His brow furrows. “For what?”
For everything.
“For not being there when… when it happened,” I reply. “For the accident, I mean. For not preventing it. I got distracted. And then I… I fell asleep.” I shake my head at myself, my throat clogging.
Surprise flickers over his features. “Hey, that wasn’t your fault. Michael had you doing way too much for one person. And as for the sleep, all you did was take a break. One you seriously needed. I still remember how exhausted you were that day. You looked like shit.”
A choked laugh rattles out of me as I lift my face to meet his gaze. Leo isn’t on the verge of tears like I am. He looks calm, composed, and kinda sorry for me.
“Ethan, it wasn’t all on you. And we’ve talked about this before. What brought it up again now?”
“I don’t know. I just… I know I’ve been distant and awkward since then.” I glance down. “And I’m really sorry for that.”
Leo doesn’t rush to tell me it’s okay. He just watches me, his jaw tight, like he’s deciding whether to say something he’s held back for a long time.
“You have been distant,” he admits after a pause. “And I’m not gonna lie. That hurt.”
His honesty knocks the air out of my lungs. I look away, blinking rapidly to keep it together. “I know,” I say, swallowing hard. “And that is all on me. I shouldn’t have acted like that. At all. I’m sorry I’ve been so fucking weird.”
He lets my words sink in, then a hint of warmth flickers in his eyes. “Ethan, you were always fucking weird.”
Another chuckle slips past my lips.
He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
“Look, I know that some things are different now. And yes, that matters. I can’t do everything the way I used to and it’s important you understand that.
” He gives me a small nod. “But I assure you: I can still shoot the shit with you anytime, and talk about all the people we’ve worked with whom we can’t stand. So, nothing’s changed there.”
Another laugh comes from my throat, and he joins in. God, I love this guy.
As I watch him pick up his drink and take a sip, I feel the weight of all the months I let my emotions and guilt keep me away from this person I adore. From now on, I’m gonna be fully present and just enjoy the friendship we’ve always had. I really can be an idiot sometimes.
“So… back to you hating work,” Leo says, wiping his lips. “If you ever feel like throwing in the towel, I actually came up with an idea not long ago.”
“Yeah? What idea?” I reach for my water bottle.
“If you’re sick of busting your ass to line someone else’s pockets and want to be your own top dog, I was thinking…” He clears his throat. “We could start our own business.”
My brows shoot up. “What?”
“It’s just an idea,” Leo adds quickly. “But we could set something up that focuses on private renovations. Houses, bathrooms, kitchens, even shop remodels. Obviously, I couldn’t do much of the hands-on stuff, but you could take charge of that, and I could handle operations: bookings, timelines, materials, logistics.
I could recruit the subcontractors, deal with the clients—basically, all the shit you hate. ”
He grins, and my lips pull up.
I feel thrown for a loop, but the wheels in my head are already turning. Leo certainly has the industry knowledge and contacts to run something like this. And the sorts of jobs he’s imagining are ones I could do on my own, or with one or two apprentices.
A surge of excitement rolls through me. I fucking loved being my own boss when I fixed up Mom and Dad’s place. Sure, it was hard work, but it was probably the best mental break I could have given myself.
A business of my own in Philly sounds amazing, especially with Leo as my partner. But it also sounds permanent.
An unsettled feeling takes hold of my stomach, and Leo’s eyes rake over my stiffening posture.
“Hey, man, don’t feel like you gotta do anything to help me,” he begins, and I cut him off.
“It’s not that. I love the idea. But…” I suck in a deep breath. Saying this aloud will admit the truth not only to my best friend, but to myself as well. “There’s a woman,” I say slowly.
His whole face lights up with a delighted-as-fuck smile.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, throwing up a hand. “The woman is in North Carolina.”
“Ahhh.” He nods, piecing it together. “You went to fix up a house… and fixed something else up along the way.”
I give his arm a light shove with my elbow.
“You fell in love,” Leo guesses, smiling.
“No.” I chuckle nervously, heat flooding my cheeks.
Love.
Is that what this is? This gnawing, aching, heavy feeling in my gut that’s been there since the second I told Chloe I was leaving?
“Whatever it was,” Leo says, giving me a knowing look, “if it’s something you shouldn’t be running away from, it’s gonna catch up with you sooner or later.”
I just stare back at him, the nervous flutter in my stomach growing.
He leans forward. “Also, my friend, I’m just saying—the beauty of me being able to work remotely for a renovation biz is that you can be anywhere while I take care of all the background stuff. You could build a house on fucking Mars, and I’d still get you what you need.”
A warm smile pulls at my mouth. “I know you would.”