Chapter 30
A watched pot of water never boils, it’s true, because Tony and I have been watching this one for what feels like forever.
‘Can I borrow you, Cleo?’ Lockie asks, rocking up next to us.
I look at Tony. He just shrugs.
‘Yeah, take her,’ he says. ‘The water’s not going to boil faster with two of us looking at it.’
Lockie jerks his head for me to follow him.
‘What’s up?’ I ask as soon as we’re out of earshot.
‘I’ve been talking to Honey,’ he says quietly. ‘And something isn’t right, but I’ve got a plan to get to the bottom of it.’
‘Okaaaay…’ I say. ‘Do I need to know anything?’
‘Just watch,’ he tells me.
He grabs a piece of weird spiky fruit in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, then marches over to where Honey is sunbathing.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask.
‘I’m going to eat it in front of her,’ he tells me. ‘Or try to, at least.’
‘Have you had too much sun?’ I ask him.
‘Just watch,’ he replies. ‘Hi, Honey!’
‘Hi, sugar,’ she replies playfully. ‘What have you got there?’
‘I found this fruit,’ he says, sitting down next to her. ‘So I’m going to eat it. And apparently, if you eat fruit after, you can drink seawater without dehydrating. I read it on the internet. The internet is never wrong.’
‘Have you had some already?’ she asks.
‘No,’ he says cheerfully. ‘But I thought we could share. So, down the hatch…’
He puts the bottle of seawater to his lips to drink it, taking a big old swig. He really has lost his mind.
Honey slaps the bottle out of his hand.
‘Don’t drink that!’ she snaps. ‘It’s idiotic to think you can! And that fruit is ackee – you can’t eat it raw, it’s toxic! How can you be so dumb?’
Lockie tilts his head curiously, a smug grin spreading across his face.
‘How can you be so dumb when you’re so smart?’ he replies.
Honey freezes.
‘Honey… are you hiding your intelligence?’ I ask.
She groans as she throws her hands up in submission.
‘Yes, okay. Fine. It was for the show,’ she says and, oh my God, it’s like her voice has changed. It’s actually much lower and slower. ‘People don’t like their bimbos smart, and men like me way more if I’m ditzy and I don’t challenge them or threaten them in any way.’
‘No man who likes you more for pretending to be anything other than yourself is worth liking back,’ Lockie tells her. ‘I like smart women. Plenty of men do. If you let yourself actually be yourself, you’ll see that.’
Honey’s face softens.
‘I know you’re right,’ she replies. ‘I guess I could tone down the act, start bringing a little more of myself to my character.’
I shrug.
‘I like this version of you the most,’ I say. ‘She’s been here all along, keeping us safe…’
‘It’s idiotic not to research where you’re going, what the danger is, what to do in certain situations. I wish I’d read up more on being marooned.’
We both laugh.
‘Well, I might not be dumb, but I do still like a tan, and you’re blocking my light,’ she tells Lockie.
‘We’ll leave you to it,’ he says with a laugh.
‘You have a real thing for fixing people, you know that?’ I say as we walk away. ‘First Camilla and her hostility, Tony and his self-consciousness, now Honey. What are you going to do about Ozzy?’
Lockie laughs.
‘Isn’t Ozzy perfect?’ he replies.
‘Not really,’ I say. ‘Almost, but he can’t cry. He says it shows weakness.’
Lockie nods once, very seriously.
‘Then we make him cry,’ he says.
‘I’m sorry, what?’
‘I’m serious,’ he replies. ‘If you see me trying something, follow my lead. We need to show him that it’s okay. And, as for your issues, I’m working on it.’
‘My issues?’ I echo. ‘What about yours?’
‘What issues?’ he says innocently.
I roll my eyes.
‘You do have a way of getting through to people,’ I admit. ‘Making them feel better. Maybe that’s why everyone likes you.’
I don’t mention that that’s probably also his problem. There’s a little bit of Lockie for everyone. Which is why he can never really be all mine.
I glance up at the sky. It’s not looking so good again.
Lockie catches me staring.
‘I’m sure help will arrive before anything kicks off again,’ he reassures me.
‘I hope so,’ I reply. ‘Because this feels like the calm before the storm… again.’
‘Oi oi,’ Ozzy calls out.
He barrels across the sand like a golden retriever who just found a big stick.
‘I’ve saved the day,’ he declares proudly.
Lockie raises an eyebrow.
‘Have you?’ he replies.
‘Yep, I found a boat,’ he announces.
That gets everyone’s attention. Camilla sprints over.
‘A boat? You beautiful, beautiful man!’ she says. ‘What kind?’
‘It’s a motorboat,’ Ozzy says. ‘It was in one of the old outbuildings. And it works. The fuel tank is more than half full. Should get us pretty far – far enough to find civilisation.’
‘Oh my God, no way,’ Honey says.
‘We have you to thank,’ he tells her.
‘Me?’ she replies.
‘Yeah, it had another one of those number keypad thingies, for security, and I remembered what you said, about trying 0000, so I did, and it worked,’ he says, cackling victoriously.
We all look at Honey.
‘Just a trick of the IT trade,’ she says. ‘One of my degrees is in computer science, and 0000 is often used by default – it’s the first one we try. That and “password” for alphabetic passwords.’
Wow, so she really does have two degrees.
I look over at Lockie – I wonder if he remembers, back in London, when we were planning the show, telling me that if we ever needed an IT expert on the show, he would eat his hand.
I won’t mention it, just in case he doesn’t remember, because I’m not sure we can rule out eating limbs for survival just yet.
What Ozzy is saying does sound positive, but you know me, always the pessimist.
‘So not only do we have a boat,’ Ozzy starts, basking in our awe, ‘I know how to steer one. So we’re almost golden.’
Camilla squeals, clinging to his arm. ‘Okay, let’s go. Right now. Goodbye island, hello civilisation and electricity and baths, and—’
‘Wait,’ I interrupt. ‘You said almost golden.’
‘There is some bad news,’ Ozzy replies.
Of course there is.
‘The boat can only fit four people safely,’ he informs us.
The silence is heavy.
‘So four of us go and two stay?’ Camilla says. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. Like, it’s first come, first saved? Like on the Titanic? That’s not fair. It’s all of us, or none of us.’
Well, I wasn’t expecting that from Camilla.
‘Or,’ he says quickly, ‘we tow the raft. Secure it with vines, attach it to the back, pull it along to the mainland.’
Tony winces.
‘Can’t we all just squeeze into the boat?’ he checks.
Honey shakes her head immediately.
‘No. If it’s rated for four people and two of our people are muscly gym bros, it will buckle before we even get out to sea,’ she says, now she’s happy being smart.
‘None taken,’ Tony says, pretending to be offended that he’s not muscular enough to be a problem.
Camilla’s face goes pale. ‘Okay, but I can’t swim,’ she says. ‘So I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to go on the raft.’
‘I can’t either,’ Tony admits quietly.
Camilla doesn’t even mock him. She just wraps an arm around him in solidarity.
‘I probably could,’ Honey says. ‘But I’m not the strongest swimmer.’
‘I’ll go on the raft,’ Lockie says immediately. ‘I’m a great swimmer.’
Every eye turns to me, to see what I’ve got. To be fair, I am a strong swimmer, so it probably should be me too.
‘I’ll go on the raft too,’ I say before I can overthink it.
‘All right. I steer the boat. Camilla, Tony and Honey join me. And we secure Lockie and Cleo on the raft,’ Ozzy confirms. ‘We might actually be getting off this rock.’
‘Now?’ Camilla asks. ‘It’s getting dark…’
‘It is, so here’s the plan: we get everything tied and secured tonight. Fix the raft to the boat, test it, and make sure it’s secure. We sleep on it. At first light tomorrow, before any more storms roll in, we set off.’
Camilla exhales, long and slow.
‘One more night. I can do one more night,’ she chants.
‘We might as well make the most of it,’ Tony adds, eyeing up the leftover rum. ‘Throw ourselves a bit of a goodbye party.’
Just one more night. Food, fire, booze, and a plan for morning. I can do that too. Camilla is right, it’s just one more night.
Tomorrow we gamble our lives on a motorboat and a raft held together with vines. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Absolutely loads. So all the more reason to make tonight count, right?