Chapter 9
Frankie’s muscles burned as she ran along the waterfront boardwalk, her ponytail flapping in the breeze as she whizzed past people walking dogs and pushing baby strollers.
Just shy of four kilometres one way at its starting point, the waterfront trail had become somewhat of a ritual for her first thing in the morning.
She would wake up and throw on her running shoes, toss some gels into a hip pack, fill her water bottle then walk down to the waterfront and hit the pavement, so to speak.
She had never been much of a runner, in fact she always disliked running. She preferred being on skates and doing laps around the ice with a hockey stick in her hands because at least that was part of a game.
Or better yet, she preferred sex as a form of cardio but she wasn’t exactly having much of that so…she was running instead.
Running was monotonous, boring, and runners could be snobs, no offence, but Frankie decided to make an exception in Halifax because she was trying new things.
She knew it was a shame to not take advantage of some of the things her new east coast city had to offer. From its trails, parks, and coffee shops that sold the most amazing iced vanilla latte’s and yogurt bowls which Frankie often treated herself to after her runs, there was a lot to enjoy.
A coffee and breakfast felt a lot more like a reward if she’d run to get them as opposed to if she’d taken a leisurely stroll along the waterfront.
It crossed her mind more than once to ask Jules if she’d like to join her one morning, thinking it might be nice to have a running buddy but then she remembered she didn’t have her phone number and even though they lived in the same building, Frankie had no idea which floor Jules lived on.
She certainly wasn’t going to be the weirdo stalker who went door to door trying to track her down.
Considering she saw Cameron nearly every day, Frankie knew she could ask him but that seemed even weirder…
“Hey, Clarke, great job with those drills today and oh by the way, what floor does your sister live on and can I get her number?”
Music pounded in Frankie’s ears as she ran and she slipped deeper into what she was calling her flow state with every stride, though giving a name to the pain in her calves and her raggedy breaths was just her sad attempt at making the whole thing feel more chic and less painful.
It was another blue sky day and the temperature, despite it being September now, was still warm enough to be out in shorts and a tank top which Frankie was grateful for.
She knew the harsh coastal winter was right around the corner and she planned to soak up as much warm sunshine as she possibly could.
When she reached the end of the trail, her watch began to vibrate signalling a call on her cell. She paused her workout tracker and her music then slipped her phone out of her waist pack and hit accept.
“Well if it isn’t miss Sydney Michaels,” she said, plopping herself down on a nearby bench. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I got to the rink early and I’m bored,” Sydney said. “You’re not that special, I promise.”
Frankie feigned offence and even though Sydney couldn’t see it, she covered her heart like she’d been shot. “Ouch, Syd. You wound me. I’m going to hang up.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay drama queen. For real though, I had some time and wanted to check in on you. How goes things on your side of the pond? Are all the boys treating you well?”
“Yes, mom. Everyone is being very nice to me.”
”Good, I don’t want anyone bullying my little princess.”
“Ew,” Frankie whined. “First queen and now princess? Quit while you’re ahead, please.”
Sydney laughed and in the background, Frankie could hear the familiar sound of pucks hitting the boards behind the back of a hockey net on the ice.
Someone was practising slapshot’s and it was music to her ears.
“Okay, let’s get serious. How are you?” Sydney asked.“And I mean that in the most genuinely sincere way possible.”
Frankie could picture Sydney sitting in one of the seats at the rink in Sweden where her team practiced and played its home games, one leg crossed over the other, an arm stretched out across the seat back beside her, a toque on her head because she was never, ever without one. Frankie missed her.
It had been months since they’d had a chance to see each other in person and she didn’t know when their next chance would be so until then, their frequent phone check-ins would have to suffice.
“I’m good, Syd, seriously.”
And she was good, that wasn’t a lie. Although she didn’t plan on telling her best friend about how lonely she’d felt since settling into Halifax, how isolating it was to be in a new place when you don’t know a single soul and despite sharing a love for hockey, being the only woman amongst a team of seasoned male coaches didn’t make it easy to become friends with her co-workers.
But all that aside, she was good. She was enjoying her job, she was sleeping well…
mostly, and she was finding ways to spend her free time that made her feel fulfilled.
Or…at least as fulfilled as a single lesbian coaching a men’s professional hockey team in a city she’d never been to until she moved there could feel.
“I’m busy but in a good way, I’m tired but in a good way. You actually caught me while I was just getting to my turn around point on a run.”
Sydney coughed and Frankie rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, I almost choked on my pre-workout. Did you just say that I caught you on a run? Since when do you run?”
”Since now,” Frankie said, voice thick with a more defensive tone than she intended. She hopped up and started to pace. “What’s wrong with running?”
”You can’t stand running. You used to say people who ran by choice were bad at playing team sports so what’s with the new hobby all of a sudden?”
It was a fair question to ask, especially coming from someone who knew Frankie as well as Sydney did.
Sydney knew Frankie better than anyone, knew what her childhood was like, what her relationship was like with her family, who her favourite hockey player was when she was twelve (Canadian hockey legend Hayley Wickenheiser).
Sydney knew who on their college hockey team at Ohio State she had the biggest crush on in freshman year and which teammate she hooked up with on an away trip to play Wisconsin (Jessica McDaniel…
she went on to marry a guy from the basketball team and popped out three kids by the age of twenty six).
“I’m trying something new, okay?” Frankie confessed. “I want things to be different here, I want to be different. So, I thought, why not go running on a nice trail by the water every day?”
“Who is she?” Sydney asked without missing a beat.
Frankie stopped pacing and froze as other Halifax locals and tourists alike moved around her on the trail. “What?”
”The woman,” Sydney said, and Frankie didn’t miss the curious and teasing tone to her voice. “The one who has you running. Who is she and what happened?”
“Nothing happened, I”
“I knew it! How did you meet? What’s her name? Does she know that you’re an icon in the sport now?”
Frankie dropped her head back and closed her eyes.
She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.
There was no getting out of this now. Sydney wouldn’t drop it and Frankie knew it was easier to fess up, to confide in her best friend about what was going on…
or not going on…to be more precise, than it would be to try and deflect.
“Her name is Jules,” she finally confessed, “and we live in the same condo building. We met in the fitness centre three weeks ago and yes, she knows what I do for work but I highly doubt she considers me an icon in the sport. Not when her brother is Cameron Clarke.”
The line was silent for a few seconds and Frankie pulled her phone away from her ear to see if the call was still connected. She scanned her surroundings, wondering if maybe this far down the harbourwalk had bad reception.
Finally, Sydney spoke again.
”Sorry, I just needed to let that sink in.
Did you say her brother is Cameron Clarke, as in the Cameron Clarke?
The guy whose likeness has been copied for the cover of like…
every recent hockey romance novel? The same Cameron Clarke who signed a record breaking expansion team contract when he joined the Halifax Harbour? ”
“Yes, okay?” Frankie deflated. It shouldn’t feel this complicated when nothing had even happened yet. Hell, she didn’t even know if Jules was gay. “Yes, that Cameron Clarke. But it’s not a big deal, it’s…”
“You’re his coach,” Sydney said, the words landing deep in Frankie’s chest. “And she’s his…sister.”
”Twin sister,” Frankie added, nodding to herself as she walked towards the edge of the shoreline and watched the sunlight sparkle on the surface of the water.
Sydney laughed and the full bodied sound of it, even over the phone and across an entire ocean, almost made Frankie regret saying anything in the first place.
“So she’s a smokeshow then, eh? Because I might be gay but I have eyes and he’s a good looking specimen so she must be…”
The image of Jules standing next to Frankie on the roof appeared in her head.
Her bright blue eyes, the way she had the tiniest dimple to the right of her lips that was almost imperceptible if you weren’t admiring her the way Frankie was, the way her blonde hair caught the sunlight and the way she smelled like lavender.
“Beautiful. She’s beautiful, Syd.”
“Damn, Frank,” Sydney sighed. “Only you would find yourself wrapped up in something like this.”
Frankie couldn’t help but laugh because Sydney was right. Her whole adult life had consisted of friends with benefits, half assed attempts at what could barely be considered relationships, one night stands in random cities, and an empty bed when Frankie actually wanted someone to be there with her.
To just…be.
Taking the coaching job, agreeing to the move, it was all part of this new plan she had for herself. If things went well with the team and she performed well, she could really settle down here, build some roots, and make a home.
And if she were lucky, find a partner.
Someone to confide in, to talk to about her day while they ate dinner or cuddled on the couch watching TV, someone she could pull in close in the middle of the night just because she wanted the warmth of another person, of her person.
If Frankie were completely honest, there had never been a time in her life when she’d had any of that and she didn’t know when the feeling first started, but she was aching for it now.
“It’s not like she and I have confessed our love for one another or anything. We’ve barely spent two hours together but I just…I don’t know. I feel this connection to her, this…tug, and maybe that sounds silly, especially coming from me.”
What also felt silly was having this conversation over the phone when Frankie wished more than anything that she and Sydney could be together in a bar somewhere, laughing and talking over a pitcher of weak beer.
Right now Frankie was having a very deep heart to heart while wearing running shoes that were starting to give her a blister and shorts that gave her a constant wedgie. They should really include that in the product information on the tag…‘warning – the person wearing these may experience wedgies’.
It wasn’t exactly a comfortable set up for an honest conversation but as Frankie looked around at the water, as she breathed in the salty air, as she felt the warmth of the sun on her skin, she knew it could be worse.
“It’s not silly, Frankie. And what do I always say?”
Frankie smiled and hugged herself. “Everything happens for a reason.”
“And I believe that wholeheartedly. You should start believing it too.”
Just then, the fluffy part of an old dandelion floated along in the breeze, drifting close to Frankie.
She remembered the lore from her childhood that if you caught it and made a wish then gave it back to the wind, your wish would come true.
So she reached out and closed her palm around it, then closed her eyes and took a moment to think about what she wanted to happen next.
With a silent wish made, Frankie fluttered open her eyes, held her open palm out in front of her then blew.
The wish, as they’d always called it, floated back into the wind and was caught on a gust. It disappeared somewhere out over the water and Frankie took a deep breath before she turned to face the direction she’d come from on the waterway trail.
God, Sydney was right.
She really hated running but maybe, if she were lucky, she’d run into Jules somewhere along the way.