Chapter 21
It was safe to say that the GM was not happy with the team’s performance as of late but Frankie knew it had nothing to do with her gender and everything to do with the expectation that came with being a new team under a microscope.
They’d played forty games between the beginning of the season and New Year’s Eve and had won a respectable twenty seven of those games.
For a new franchise, it wasn’t that bad statistically when compared to some of the teams that have been competing for years but Frankie was disappointed in herself.
She was doing her best, and something wasn’t clicking during the previous handful of games.
She couldn’t put her finger on why but she was determined to fix it.
The entire coaching staff had been invited to a party by the GM at a swanky hotel in downtown Halifax and after meeting with Neil for their own post game breakdown of what went well and what didn’t, Frankie had gone home to get ready for a party she knew she wouldn’t enjoy.
It wasn’t her job to reassure Jules that her brother was okay but something had compelled her to ease her worry after the game when she found Jules standing by the no access point, her body curled around itself, so unsure of what to do or who to ask for information, she knew it was the right decision.
She expected Jules to thank her, expected her to show her appreciation and Jules did both but what she didn’t expect was to pull Jules into her arms again for the second time in a week, and didn't expect for Jules to hug her back the way she did.
But Frankie couldn’t let her stand there and cry without offering some comfort and it just felt right. Jules in her arms, it…made sense. They fit together.
Now she was standing alone at a party with a guest list comprised of sports bigwigs and industry leaders from the area, people who gave the team sponsorships and financial support, and all Frankie could do was sip her white wine and watch the clock.
The relationships she had with her fellow staff members were friendly, courteous, and incredibly surface level at no fault of their own. They had a job to do, a very demanding and time consuming one, and that left little time for chit chat about things like kids, spouses and hobbies.
But those surface level relationships meant that since her arrival tonight, she’d barely had a full conversation with anyone.
The only person she really wanted to talk to was across the city somewhere at a different party and before she gave it a second thought, Frankie pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her favourite tailored grey slacks.
She’d still dressed nice despite knowing she’d likely entertain herself for most of the evening, pairing a yellowish gold silk blouse with the slacks and a pristine pair of patent leather loafers.
Her conversation with Jules sat at the top of her messages just as it had for days now and she typed out a message, knowing she wasn’t likely to get a response until well after midnight because Jules was, after all, celebrating with her brother after they’d missed spending Christmas together.
Frankie – 11:14PM
What's your drink of choice tonight?
She was just about to slip the phone back into her pocket when she received a reply.
Jules – 11:15PM
Would you judge me if I told you I was drinking a Whiteclaw?
Frankie – 11:15PM
Depends on what flavour it is…
Jules – 11:16PM
Watermelon but to be honest I'd rather be drinking Diet Coke.
Frankie laughed to herself and made a mental note to buy a case of pop to keep in her fridge for when Jules came over.
And that thought made her realize just how much she wanted Jules to come over again.
She wanted to play Yahtzee with her, wanted to cozy up on her big couch and watch movies together, to laugh over a shared meal at her coffee table, to just be with her and she had no idea what to do with feeling this way, what the next move was to make if there even was one,
Frankie – 11:17PM
It's a party full of hockey players and their parters, I'm sure they've got Diet Coke. Ditch the Claw for the Coke.
Jules – 11:18PM
That sounds like a brand slogan. Maybe you should work in marketing and not hockey?
But the suits don't need to change because it would be a shame if the world didn't get to see those anymore…
You wear them so well.
Her cheeks flamed at the compliment and Frankie glanced around to make sure no one was watching her smile at her phone like an idiot and luckily, the other guests were too wrapped up in their champagne and tapas to pay her any mind.
The two glasses of white wine she'd already enjoyed that evening emboldened her and she typed back a response that she knew was pushing the boundaries of their friendship but it seemed like Jules had already reached that point. Now it was Frankie’s turn.
Frankie – 11:19PM
Big fan of the gameday suits, huh? Good to know.
I get them tailor made.
Jules – 11:19PM
Trust me, I've noticed.
Frankie – 11:21PM
What else have you noticed?
Was it a step too far? At this point, Frankie didn’t care anymore. She’d tried to distance herself, tried her best to keep things professional after giving Jules the signed puck, tried to push down the attraction she felt but nothing worked to keep her feelings at bay.
Nothing stopped her heart from skipping a beat anytime Jules looked at her, nothing convinced her they would be better as just friends, and now it was New Year’s Eve and maybe Jules had no one to kiss when the clock struck midnight.
But if they were together, if Jules let her, Frankie wouldn’t hesitate.
Jules – 11:22PM
Frankie…
Do you really want me to answer that?
Damn.
What she wanted was to be anywhere but here but she couldn’t leave and she reluctantly lifted her gaze from her phone to take in the scene around her.
Maybe no one would even notice if she left? It wasn’t as if she’d spent the last hour and a half chatting with people about her work, and aside from a few short lipped conversations about what it meant to be a female in a male dominated industry after she’d arrived, she’d mostly kept to herself.
She should be grateful to be where she was right now, she knew she should.
It was an honour to hold her position and something she was so proud of.
The people who filled the small but grand ballroom, with its sparkling chandelier centrepiece and disco ball hanging above a raised stage, held her career in the palm of their hands.
Frankie – 11:24PM
Yes, but not like this.
Not when I'm stuck at a party I don't even want. to be at.
After a few minutes of consistent back and forth, Frankie couldn’t mask her disappointment when the conversation went flat, her last message left on read.
She sighed and sipped her wine. Maybe Jules thought better of things, realizing she’d crossed a line she wasn’t ready to cross and didn't expect Frankie's willingness to cross it with her.
Or maybe this entire time, everything Frankie had been feeling was one sided. Maybe Jules was drinking and she didn’t know what she was saying under the haze of alcohol.
“Frankie, I’ve been looking for you,” a voice to the left of her said and her head snapped up from the text message she was staring at.
Do you really want me to answer that?
“Neil, hi,” Frankie said as the Halifax Harbour’s head coach and a short brunette woman approached her.
“I wanted to introduce you to my wife,” he said, looking at the woman beside him with a loving smile. “Frankie, this is Jennifer. Jennifer, this is Frankie.”
”So nice to meet you Frankie,” Jennifer said, holding out her hand.
Frankie locked her phone then slipped it back into her pocket to accept the handshake. “Likewise, Jennifer. I can’t believe you voluntarily choose to put up with this guy every day,” she joked, thumbing at Neil.
Neil and Jennifer laughed and she hooked her arm around her husband’s. “Luckily he leaves the work talk at the front door when he gets home. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hockey, but I don’t eat, sleep, breathe it the way you both do.”
“Frankie here can still say she’s married to the game,” Neil said with a grin.
He’d asked her once during one of their first meetings as coaches if she had a partner or a spouse, someone she could go home to at the end of the day, someone to help take away the pressure of their jobs. At the time, she told him no. Maybe that was changing?
“I have the luxury of being married to this lovely woman right here.”
He pulled Jennifer closer against his body and when he glanced down at her, the look of love and adoration in his eyes and on his face was unmistakable, even in the darkened hotel ballroom.
“The game will always come and go but it’s the people you want to talk to when you step off the ice that matter the most.”
Frankie laughed a little and gave a half smile.
She wanted that, who wouldn’t? She was getting older and with her age and the isolating stresses of her job came a loneliness she hadn’t yet been able to explain to any of her past partners.
Now she was reaching a point in her life when she let herself into her empty condo at the end of a workday, when she rolled her suitcase through the door of a hotel room with no one to text saying made it safe and sound. She was beginning to hate how quiet it always was.
“I can only hope to be as lucky as you both are one day,” she said, knowing deep down that she truly meant it.
Just before midnight, her phone vibrated in her pocket.
She hadn’t checked it since tucking it away to speak with Neil and Jennifer.
She’d somehow been drawn into conversations about the current state of the women’s national hockey team with a man who had two daughters playing competitive youth hockey.
Hockey was a small world and he’d recognized Frankie’s name, knew her beyond the confines of her coaching career, was aware that she was once a top prospect in the country but injury had taken her chance of national team success away.
It was nice to revisit that time in her life, to discuss where she thought the team was in its current state, the chances she thought they had to medal at the next women’s world championships against a frighteningly strong American side.
“We still have some of the best veterans in the sport on our team and our captain deserves to have her number retired alongside her when she steps away from the game,” she’d said, “but our biggest downfall is our lack of young talent. The Americans have thrived because they’ve been willing to take chances on their collegiate athletes in ways our team hasn’t.
I personally don’t understand the reluctance but I’m not the coach so… ”
Jules – 11:57PM
Sorryyyyy. I got sucked into playing a game of beer pong with a bunch of college kids disguised as professional athletes. But it’s almost midnight now.
Frankie – 11:57PM
You can’t say you played beer pong without telling me who won…
Jules – 11:58PM
Obviously I did….does that surprise you?
Frankie – 11:58PM
A lot of things about you surprise me but that is not one of them.
Jules – 11:59PM
What surprises you about me?
The clock struck midnight and above Frankie, confetti cannons burst, raining colourful strips of paper and glitter down on everyone in the room.
Cheers rang out as the DJ played Auld Lang Syne and a chorus of out of tune voices all sang along, champagne glasses clinked together, and Frankie did her best to seem as excited as everyone else around her.
Frankie – 12:00AM
Happy New Years, Jules.
I hope this year is kind to you.