Chapter 25 #2
Frankie had to look away, because she wasn’t used to a romantic partner being so forthcoming, mostly because she’d never before allowed something to bloom from a friendship first, and she didn’t know how to let all of her walls down.
But Jules had managed to soften her edges, had gotten Frankie to speak about her family issues – a part of her life she’d kept in the dark for years because the only people in her life that mattered already knew.
There hadn’t been anyone else, no one who'd been around long enough to want to know, to even ask.
Until Jules.
“You’re right, I’m just used to dealing with this all on my own.”
“You’re not alone anymore. Let me carry some of the weight of your world for you.” Jules softly put a knuckle on the side of Frankie’s chin, turning her head so they were looking at each other again. “Okay?”
The moment was so soft, like a warm haze had settled over them, and all Frankie could do was nod, bobbing her throat as she smiled.
“Okay.”
“Now, I’d love to take this jacket off because I am sweating my ass off and…
” Jules unzipped her coat and walked around the kitchen island.
She picked up the paper bag she’d arrived with and held it up.
“I brought you dinner because I kind of assumed you hadn’t eaten when you didn’t text me back. I hope you like fish and chips?”
The greasiness of the bag made sense now and Frankie laughed, but her heart clenched in her chest at the same time, because Jules had just…done this for her without asking, she’d done it simply because she wanted to, and she tucked that away to think about later. “I love fish and chips.”
An hour later, and with her belly full, Frankie sat with Jules on her couch. She’d made them each a cup of tea and Jules was stroking her arm, soaking up everything Frankie told her.
She’d nodded as Frankie recalled the events of her day, had given her hand a gentle squeeze when Frankie repeated the hurtful things she’d heard her own players say about her, and had proudly smiled when Frankie told her the way Cam had approached her after practice to check in and make sure she was going okay, that she felt respected in her role as their coach.
“Your brother really is a great guy.”
“But he shouldn’t feel the need to stand up for someone who is meant to be an authority figure on the team. I really think you should bring this to Neil, Frankie. You can’t have your own athletes speaking about you this way.”
“And make some of them resent me more than they already do? I don’t see how that’s in my best interest.”
“How is being berated, even privately, by a group of men who are expected to stand in front of you on game day and follow your lead in your best interest either?”
Frankie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. They were both right but it felt like an impossible situation to manage and she didn’t know how to navigate it when she’d never been here before.
She didn’t take her role as a coach in the league lightly and she knew the platform she had.
The importance of her being another woman who held such a high level position mattered beyond the borders of their world in Halifax and she knew what people would say if word got out that there were issues within the team.
Well, what do you expect? You’re a woman working in hockey. It’s kind of par for the course Get used to it or get lost.
And while that had been true up until this point, it was frustrating to know that it didn’t have to be this way.
Change could happen, and it needed to happen, because the world she worked in now had long since been known as a place for disrespect of minorities, sexuality, and gender.
Why were people so afraid to welcome that change? It was becoming harder to accept.
Frankie’s chest tightened the more she thought about it and she moved away from Jules, sitting on the edge of the couch with her forearms flat on her thighs, hands clasped. She fixed her eyes on the floor between her feet and sighed.
“I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.”
Because the more she talked about it the crazier she felt, the more she fought with herself about her own feelings and the responsibility that came with her job and with being a role model for other women, the more exhausted she felt.
She just wanted to coach a hockey team because she was damn good at it and because she loved it. Everything else that came with it, well, she was still figuring out how to compartmentalize it all.
Beside her, Jules shifted and a second later, a warm body nestled closely against her own. Jules reached out and placed her hands around Frankie’s clasped fingers, taking them in her own. She lightly nudged her and dropped her forehead against Frankie's shoulder.
“You know…I missed you tonight. Mackenzie took a few days off of work to come celebrate Cam’s new deal and seeing them together made me wish you were there too.
The way they looked at each other, with so much adoration, I think if someone took a photo of me anytime I look at you… that’s what they’d see on my face too.”
Frankie lifted her eyes from the floor and fixed her gaze on Jules, whose head was ducked so their faces were close.
She could see adoration on her face now and she knew she’d seen the look before on more than one occasion, but they hadn’t been in a place yet where Frankie could give that look a name, to define it and know with certainty that Jules felt the same things she did.
Closing the small gap between them, Frankie leaned in and pressed her lips to the soft pair she’d been dreaming of ever since their first kiss in Los Angeles.
The chance to kiss Jules again hadn’t come yet because they’d agreed to take it slow.
Frankie wanted to wine and dine Jules, to prove to her just how special she was and she was still ironing out all of the details for that elusive first date but she needed to taste Jules now in whatever way she could have her.
Jules kissed her back, bringing a hand to Frankie’s face to cup her cheek for a moment before moving it around her neck and up into her hair so she could hold onto her and deepen the kiss.
Frankie’s body hummed at the sensation of fingernails scratching her scalp and a tongue moving against her own. Her core clenched and when Jules nipped her bottom lip, she panted, breaking the kiss to moan.
In a move that took Frankie by surprise, Jules swiftly pressed against her chest, forcing her back against the cushions behind her, then slid a leg over Frankie’s lap to straddle her. Frankie’s hands found Jules' waist and she gripped her hips as Jules leaned in and kissed her again.
“I thought we…” Frankie forced her words out in between kisses. “…were taking things slowly.”
”We are.” Jules smirked against Frankie’s lips, rolling her hips down in Frankie’s lap as she buried her hands deeper into the red locks Frankie had pulled up into a bun after her shower.
A finger hooked under the hair tie that was keeping her hair up and Jules pulled it loose, allowing it to fall down past her shoulders. “Do you want me to stop?”
Absolutely not, but Frankie was determined to let Jules dictate how far they went and at what pace. She would enjoy every second she was offered until Jules was ready to say goodnight.
To answer the question properly, Frankie slipped her hands beneath the loose hoodie Jules was wearing and spread her palms wide on soft, bare skin.
Everything about Jules was soft in ways Frankie couldn’t wait to discover and she explored the body pressing into her own with her hands, getting as far as the edge of a simple bralette.
The thought of feeling more skin without the barrier of clothing between them, of getting to worship Jules the way she deserved was so, so tempting, but now wasn’t the time, and she slid her hands back down, holding Jules securely in her lap as Jules tore her lips away from Frankie’s to tug down the collar of her shirt and kiss her neck.
“Fuck, Jules.”
“Maybe that can happen if you finally take me out on that date,” Jules whispered against Frankie’s skin and kissed her way back up to her lips. She leaned back and grinned. “How’s Friday night?”
"I'd take you out right now if you'd let me."