Chapter 28 #2
And if she really gave it some thought, she didn’t know if she would’ve been okay on her own for the last five, ten, fifteen years. Maybe she had her brother as a crutch, a reason for why her life stagnated, why she’d just accepted every move and every change in his career as if it were hers too.
But he was right, it was time for a change.
And Jules thought of Frankie, thought of their relationship and what it was becoming.
Jules knew she felt more for Frankie than she’d ever felt for another woman and she also knew Frankie wanted to build something for herself too, to put down roots and be somewhere she could truly call home.
Jules wanted that too, and maybe they could have it together.
And then there was the job opportunity being dangled right in front of her face. Applying for the position was one thing, and if she got it?
Jules already felt like she was lying to her brother by not telling him about things with Frankie. He knew they were friends to an extent, knew they’d grown close, but he definitely didn’t know how close they’d become.
Right now they weren’t breaking any rules.
There was nothing on paper that said their relationship wasn’t allowed.
Would that change if she got a job with the team?
What would it mean? Things were so new, so beautiful and shiny, and she knew what she and Frankie had was special. Did she want to put that at risk?
“I love you,” Cam said, giving her arm a squeeze.
“And this could be really good for you, even though I know you don’t like handouts.
I can’t get this job for you, but I did mention that my sister would be perfect for the role because you are, and maybe it’s okay, if just one more time…
I do something to help you? Because if it does work out, you could build something really cool here with the Harbour and then one day, who knows where it might take you? ”
Jules couldn’t argue that, could she? She sighed and wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. He rested his head atop hers and hugged her tightly. The familiarity of the embrace, one they’d shared a million times throughout their lives, was comforting and she pressed her face against his chest.
“My brother is all grown up.”
“Mostly,” Cam laughed. “And I still want you to make Mom’s lasagna for me.”
“Maybe I can make it for the three of us. You, me, and Mackenzie. I’d really like to spend some more time with her if she’s really that important to you.”
He gave her a tighter squeeze. “I’d really like that and so would she.”
“What are you thinking right now?”
Frankie’s fingers brushed through her hair as they laid together on Frankie’s couch, the light from an unwatched movie on the TV filling the darkness of the living room.
The remnants of the meal Jules cooked for them sat on plates on the kitchen island and half empty wine glasses rested on coasters in front of them on the coffee table.
Jules had been forthcoming about the job opportunity because it made no sense to keep it to herself, not when it affected both of them in ways she wasn’t quite sure of yet, but the mood changed when she’d mentioned it.
Frankie had been so excited about the home cooked meal, kissing Jules deeply against the fridge in thanks before they sat down to eat and the smile on her face had been luminous.
So Jules had waited to bring it up.
They ate their meal and laughed as Jules reminisced about her mother in the kitchen and the way it was a complete mess anytime she made a meal. It was just part of her process, her mom had always said, and then she and Cam would help with the cleanup while their dad took out the trash.
It was a nice memory, one that made her a bit emotional as she recalled it, but then Frankie had asked if she’d spent time with her brother lately and she didn’t want to lie.
So she told Frankie all about the conversation she and Cam had at the grocery store, about the ways in which her brother had matured without her noticing, the way his new girlfriend had made him accept the reality of their lives, how he admitted to wanting more for Jules in life.
And she told Frankie about the job her brother said she’d be perfect for. The only problem was…the job was with the Halifax Harbour. It was instantly an elephant in the room and Jules had no idea how Frankie felt about it because she’d barely opened her mouth since Jules mentioned it,.
“Frankie…it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It can be…” Jules trailed off, unsure of what she even wanted to say.
“I know.”
Jules sat up, shifting to face Frankie. “It’s not like I’m one of the players on the team.”
”I know.”
“Do you have more to say than just I know?”
Frankie pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes as she released a long sigh. “Your brother doesn’t even know we’re dating yet, Jules. I’m his coach. That already complicates things for me and I literally share a wall with him in this building.”
”Yeah.” Jules swallowed and looked down at where her hand was resting on Frankie’s thigh. She pulled it away then sat up, putting distance between them and in that moment, a few inches felt like a mile. “You aren’t wrong.”
“When are you planning to tell him about us?” Frankie’s voice cut through the quiet and it wasn’t angry, but it was laced with frustration. “If you’re planning to tell him at all. I don’t want to be your secret.”
Her secret? That stung.
If Frankie really felt that way, this was the first Jules was hearing of it and it hurt.
Should they have talked about the situation they were in before they became intimate?
Yes. Could they change anything now? No, but Jules never wanted Frankie to be her secret and the thought of it made her stomach curl.
“That’s not fair and you know it. Of course I’m going to tell him, but this is new to me. I’ve never been in this position with him before and it’s…hard to navigate.”
“That makes two of us, Jules.”
She expected there to be some hesitation as they worked through the decision together, but Jules didn’t think Frankie would sound so unsure about everything, that she would doubt Jules the way she seemed to be doubting her now.
Maybe they needed to work through some things on their own before they could figure it out together.
This wasn’t how she thought the evening would go but Frankie herself had said that Jules being who she was made things complicated, so she would uncomplicate things for a little while.
“I should go.”
She stood and carried her wine glass to the island. She placed their plates in the sink and out of the corner of her eye, saw Frankie watching her from where she still sat on the couch.
She stared down at her white knuckles as she gripped the edge of the counter then moved towards the door.
”Jules, wait…”
She froze, her eyes shut as she listened to the sound of Frankie walking across the small room.
It was reminiscent of the night when Frankie had found her crying in the gym, the way Frankie had spoken so honestly, so earnestly that it made Jules want to stay, to hear what she had to say.
She had that way about her, a calm strength that was so easy to lean into.
Jules felt her before she heard her and then she was breathing in Frankie’s comforting scent. It had quickly become her favourite smell and her breath caught in her throat as a strong arm slid around her waist, holding her from behind.
Frankie nuzzled her nose against the spot where Jules’ shoulder met her neck and pressed a featherlight kiss to her skin.
“I’m sorry.”
“Frankie…”
“No, I’m an asshole, and you deserve better.
” Their height difference made it easy for Jules to lean back against Frankie’s taller frame and Frankie hugged her tighter as she trailed her lips up to the spot beneath Jules’ ear.
“It’s an amazing opportunity for you and I want you to go for it.
You’re perfect for it and we’ll figure out the rest later. ”
Her emotions betrayed her and her vision blurred. She turned around in Frankie’s arms and looked up into green eyes that looked back at her with a fondness and affection she’d only seen with Frankie. In that look, Jules knew things would be okay. They might not be easy, but they would be okay.
“You’re not a secret. I would shout from the rooftops how lucky I am to be with you right now if I could and I’m going to tell my brother.” Jules nodded and swallowed hard, blinking away the threat of tears. “I promise. ”
“I know, and I’m sorry for doubting that.
” Frankie dipped her head and brushed their noses together.
She brought her hand up and softly stroked her thumb over Jules’ cheekbone then tucked some hair behind her ear and smiled.
“Because you’re so much more than a secret to me, Jules. I hope you know that."
Now what were they going to do?