2. Chapter 2
Chapter two
LUCA
“Luca! Sorry dear, just a second.”
Dammit . I considered pretending I hadn’t heard my name, knowing full well that wasn’t going to fool anyone now that I was what I was.
Ophelia fiddled with an umbrella at the door of the tavern while I tugged my hood lower over my face. It had taken Elliot months to come up with the spell on my jacket and while it did offer some protection against the sun on a gloomy, overcast day like today, it didn’t come close to the protection of Silas’s spelled stone and standing out in the open for a prolonged period of time was still a bad idea.
It was one of the few myths about vampires that were actually true. And one of the most frustrating weaknesses. Technically I'd died, but my body still functioned. I could breathe, and eat, my heart still beat in my chest, the only difference was, none of it was actually necessary to my survival. Mirrors and garlic and stakes? All bullshit. If you wanted to kill a vampire you had to use magic or take its head. Sounded like a good deal until you learned just opening the curtains on a nice day would do the trick.
In the end, I couldn’t make the persistent woman chase after me any more than she had to and I ducked under the awning of the nearest building to wait. Damn . I was not in the mood to pretend everything was okay. Things were the opposite of okay and they’d been that way for the better part of a year now. While most of the people in this town instinctively knew to steer clear of me, the tavern crew was harder to shake.
I should be grateful to them. That they were trying so hard to help me through this nightmare. That they were going out of their way to give me everything I needed to survive in their world. I should be grateful that I’d survived at all. But I struggled to find the level of optimism it would take to feel good about any of it. If my mother could see how horrible I’d become, there’d be no place on Earth that could help me out of that one.
The thought of my mother brought the usual wave of guilt, and I turned my attention back to Ophelia. I pulled in a breath and held it before she got close. It made talking a little awkward, but I didn’t actually need to breathe and cutting off my sense of smell helped with the cravings.
Strangely, I didn’t crave just anyone. Shifters, for example, weren't appealing to me at all. Though Ophelia was human, her scent didn’t affect me much either. It had an almost artificial edge to it that probably came from her incense-like perfume, but the thought of losing control around her was horrifying, so I was always careful, just in case.
There were still some that I had to be especially careful around. Ollie’s partner Zane was one of them, and I was pretty sure smelled that way because of what he was. He’d noticed early on that I was struggling around him and he’d let me in on his secret. He was an incubus. Which apparently also meant that I couldn’t hurt him. I could get close enough to bite, sure, but any incubus or succubus could enthrall a vampire as easily as a human. Even if I did lose control, he’d be the one with the upper hand. The one who could just as easily feed off of me. That fact had actually put me at ease and while I was careful not to breathe when he was around, I didn’t freak out about it.
Not like I did with Sage.
A pang of regret burned in my chest. The Sage situation was a mess I couldn’t deal with. To top off all of our other issues, his sweet scent called to me in a way few others did. And unlike Zane, he was human. Weak, defenseless, and far too perfect for someone like me. Vulnerable too, after what he went through when he was held by the hunters. We still didn’t have any answers on what went down when he’d been separated from Ollie and Levi, Sage claimed he didn’t remember anything. But seeing him like that, shaking and covered in blood, was permanently etched into my memory.
“Thanks for waiting, kiddo. Royce needs a favor, he forgot to ask before you left.” She handed over a large envelope and I almost handed it right back when I saw the name written on it. “Sage is on your way home, could you drop this off to him? I’d do it myself but I have an appointment to get to and Royce wanted to get that to him as soon as possible. Thanks so much!”
She disappeared before I could come up with an excuse and I stared at the name on the envelope for a long moment before giving in and heading home again. It wasn’t a big deal, I’d just drop it in his mailbox on the way. He’d never even know I was there.
I felt like such an asshole for how I’d been to Sage since everything happened. For the past few months, one minute I was hovering over him, wanting to pry into his life and know what was really going on, the next I was putting as much distance between us as possible.
His scent was only one part of the problem. There were a million reasons he should keep his distance, but none of it seemed to matter to him at all. It didn’t matter how many times I pushed him away, he never gave up.
Someone as smart as him shouldn’t need to be told to stay the hell away from someone like me, but for such a successful investigative journalist, his instincts were shit. Maybe things could have been different before, but they couldn’t now. I was a literal monster. And Sage… Sage was too good, too innocent, and maybe even a little na?ve when it came to what I was.
He was hard-working, dedicated, and sweet. The adorably nerdy, glasses-wearing version of the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy next door. Never a hair out of place. Every problem taken on with everything he had. Too perfect in every way.
Before everything happened, I thought we’d become friends. Back when I was blissfully ignorant of the things I knew now, and he was just a cute reporter who got flustered when I smiled at him. That short time before I died had been filled with possibility. But those possibilities died with my humanity.
It was probably for the best.
Since I’d only seen it the one time, I double checked the unit number on the envelope as it led me to the out of place cluster of modern townhomes so close to the older neighborhoods. Finding the right place, I left the cover of the trees to head for the door.
“No, dammit! Will you fucking listen for once?”
The sound of Sage yelling stopped me in my tracks. I’d never heard him raise his voice once. Not even when we’d found him surrounded by bodies and covered in blood in that room with the hunters.
”I am listening, you’re the one ignoring me.“ The tinny male voice was barely audible, telling me he was on the phone.
“Nope. Heard you perfectly, and I’m still telling you to fuck off.”
“Such language for a concerned friend. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Sage snorted. “Who do you think I got it from? And you’re not concerned, you’re nosey. Go find your own life and leave mine the fuck alone.”
“Did you somehow forget that we lived together for four years? I have plenty of reason to be concerned. How have you survived without me for this long? If you’re not coming back, I’ll come to you.”
Lived together? Can’t survive without him? Was Sage already in a relationship? Had I gotten all of his intentions wrong? Not that it mattered. But for some reason, it bothered me. A lot. Because I was an asshole.
“Don’t come here, Chase! And please, you’re the one who can barely survive on your own. I’ve got too much shit going on and I don’t have time to babysit your ass. Go find one of those conventions you love right there in Arizona. Live your life and stay the fuck out of mine.”
I’d literally never heard Sage swear before, but now he was dropping F-bombs like they were his favorite word. Did I actually know him at all? Or maybe this Chase person was an ex who wouldn’t leave him alone and he’d just lost his temper. That was understandable.
“Aww, are you saying you don’t miss me? You’ve been hiding in that little town forever and telling me not to visit.” Chase teased, clearly not a bit offended by Sage’s words.
Sage sighed. “You know that’s not what I’m saying. Of course I miss you, but this isn’t a good time. As I’ve told you repeatedly .”
“I don’t know, I’m feeling pretty unloved right now.”
“You know I love you, dumbass.”
The words were like a punch to the gut.
“But I’m getting lonely here all by myself,” Chase whined. “And we both know you can’t take care of yourself. You should be begging me to come by now. Which makes me wonder what exactly you’re hiding out there in small-town Virginia.”
The rain had stopped at some point along my walk, but I was still standing a few steps from the door like an eavesdropping stalker. The sky that had been overcast the entire day, suddenly broke open and sunlight spilled across the huge courtyard I’d just crossed.
“…too much going on.”
“Shit!” I pressed myself against the door, the setting sun at an angle just right for frying me alive. With no other choice, I pounded on the door. It was either man up and face Sage, or make him sweep my ashes off his doorstep.
“Shit, hang on a sec,” Sage said, before the sound of footsteps told me he was moving closer.
I tucked myself deeper into my jacket, but it would never hold up to this much sun, not for long anyway. I could already feel myself starting to sizzle.
The door opened in front of me and Sage and I exchanged a horrified look before he reached out to grab my arm. The beer bottle he’d had in his hand hit the tile and shattered as he tugged me inside.
“What the hell are you doing? Get inside!”
He slammed the door behind me and we had a long moment of awkward silence before the voice on the other side of the phone broke it.
“Sage? What the hell just happened?”
Sage jumped at the sound of his friend’s voice and he returned the phone to his ear. “I’ve gotta go, Chase. Don’t come here! I’ll talk to you later.”
He ended the call and his arm fell back to his side as beer and glass pooled around his bare feet. I knew I should explain myself, but I was speechless.
Sage stood still as a statue, but it was like an alternate universe version of Sage I’d never seen before. His normally perfectly styled blond hair was a mess, falling across his forehead and sticking up in every direction, and his blue eyes blinked at me in shock, his dark framed glasses nowhere to be found. His usual uniform of a button down shirt and fitted khaki pants had been replaced by workout shorts and a loose black muscle tank that gave a peek of tattoos on his side and chest through the low arm and neck holes. It was like looking at someone I’d never met before and Sage seemed well aware of that.
He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. “I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I finally found my brain and handed him the envelope. “Royce wanted me to give this to you. I was just going to drop it in your mailbox, but then the sun suddenly came out and…”
“And you nearly got fried. It probably could have waited until the sun went down.” He looked down at the glass surrounding his feet and sighed.
Shit, I’d been so busy trying not to turn to ash that I’d forgotten to hold my breath and now Sage’s scent surrounded me twice as strong in his home.
“Don’t move, I'll find something to clean that up.”
He waved me off. “No, it’s fine.”
He took a large step to bypass the worst of the glass, but I stopped him before he could take another. Without thinking, I scooped him into my arms and carried him further inside. That part of me that had been dumb enough to think I could become some kind of hero cop was apparently not quite as dead and gone as it should be.
Sage went still in my arms, his fingers clutching a handful of my t-shirt as his scent deepened, becoming even more irresistible. “Uh, I’m really okay. You can put me down.”
The familiar ache in my teeth had me clenching my jaw against the strong urge to get a taste of him any way I could, and I reluctantly set him on his feet. Sage rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his cheeks a little flushed as he looked around.
“Sorry about the mess, but I think you’re pretty much stuck here until the sun sets.”
I finally pulled my eyes away from Sage’s louder, ruder, messier twin long enough to see what he was talking about. When I opened my mouth, I’d been intending to apologize for imposing, but that wasn’t what came out.
“Holy shit!”
He grimaced and snagged a damp bath towel off the back of the small couch and tossed it over the broken glass and beer, but that clearly wasn’t the mess he’d been talking about. Perfect, nerdy, uptight Sage was a slob. The largest wall in his open living area had been completely covered with his work. Newspaper articles, pictures, notes, and scraps of paper covered every inch of it. Every flat surface, including half the floor was covered with books, files, coffee mugs, and beer bottles. Various dead plants sat on the windowsill, well beyond saving. The cleanest part of the house was the clearly unused kitchen which had nothing but a coffee pot and a stack of pizza boxes and beer bottles waiting to be recycled.
“Like I said, I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Right sorry, that came out wrong. My dining room table looked pretty much the same back when I still took work home with me. I’m not judging, it’s just…” I really didn’t know how to put it without being rude.
“It’s just that all of this,” he waved a hand over himself and the room in general. “Didn’t factor into your image of me? Yeah, that was intentional. Even Ollie hasn’t been able to get in here and she’s the most persistent person I know.”
Was he telling me he was lying to all of us on purpose? Why pretend to be someone else?
Sage seemed a little annoyed as he stalked over to the couch and moved the laptop, books and files to the already overflowing coffee table. “Stop looking at me like that, I’m not some stranger that can’t be trusted. I’ve never lied to any of you about my job and that job comes with a certain image that I need to maintain. Everyone is different at home, aren’t they? You just happen to be the only one in Eastbend who's gotten to see me at home.”
“Why keep up appearances even when you’re not working? You’ve hung out at the bar with Ollie tons of times.” It wasn’t my business, but for some reason, I wanted to know.
“I’m always working. Ollie and the rest of them are counting on me to help with the hunter problem in this town and I need them to see me as a professional. As much as no one wants it to be true, appearances matter. If I show up as the loud-mouthed slob that I am, I won’t have anyone’s trust. Too pretty and people assume I’m not capable and got by on my looks. Show up as a straight-laced nerd who’s got his shit together and suddenly my ideas hold more weight. Doesn’t matter that the work I did was the same no matter what I look like.”
He was right that no one wanted that to be true, but I couldn’t refute his statements either. Eventually I’d like to think that he’d have earned everyone’s trust just the same, but would they have given him the benefit of the doubt from the start as easily as they did? I didn’t know about that.
Sage wandered into the kitchen and pulled two more beers from the otherwise empty fridge, handing one to me on his way to the couch.
“So you’re telling me that version of you was always a lie?”
“I don’t know, the only person who really knows this side of me is my college roommate, and if you ask him, I’m a huge nerd. I guess it depends on what you consider a nerd. Super smart? Not really. I’ve always gotten decent grades but I’m not a genius or anything. Socially awkward? Only around especially hot guys. My line of work wouldn’t really allow for trouble talking to people. My love life is pretty tragic, if that counts. I’m not especially obsessed with sci-fi or fantasy but it’s not unusual for me to get fixated on some random book or show now and then and I've been dragged to games and conventions with friends plenty of times.”
“Not sure any of that qualifies.”
He shrugged. “I never made any claims one way or the other, you guys assumed based on my appearance.”
That was true enough, and it wasn’t like I could blame him for that. But it made me wonder how many of our other interactions I’d made assumptions about.
“So that guy you were on the phone with?”
“The college roommate.”
“You two are still together?”
He arched one eyebrow at me. “We never were. He’s my best friend.”
Whatever he saw in my face right then caught his attention and he tipped his head to the side as he considered me.
“You’re annoyed that I wasn’t up front with you, I expected that, but I didn’t think you’d be relieved.”
“What? I’m not—“
“I may not have any magic, but I still have the blood of a witch and I sometimes get a sense of things. Not sure if it’s because of the roommate thing, or something else, but you are relieved. Tell me why.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit. Whether you like it or not, we’ve been friends for quite a while now and you suck at hiding how you really feel. Do you think I didn’t know that you wanted me to leave every time I came to visit? That my scent is especially hard for you for more than one reason?”
Actually, I hadn’t tried to hide that. I’d hoped it would make him stop visiting, but he never did. “Then why…?”
“Why did I torture you anyway? Because it was what you needed, whether you wanted it or not. You holed up in Silas’s basement, cut off from the world, and losing contact with humanity would have made it twice as hard to rejoin society eventually. I talked to Silas about what you needed to help you through everything, and I did my best to make sure you got it.
“You needed a friend who didn’t give up on you. A connection to humanity. Temptation to build up tolerance and restraint. And while we didn’t really get the chance to build a solid friendship before everything happened, it seemed like we were heading that way and it was something I didn’t want to let go of. So I didn’t want you to let go of it either.”
I set the beer bottle on the table so I didn’t crush it in my clenched fist. “Silas had no right to ask that of you. You could have been seriously hurt!”
“You also needed someone to have faith in you. Shit happens sometimes, and we knew the possibility of you slipping up was there early on, but Silas was always right upstairs and it’s not like you could drain me before he could get there. It was a risk he made sure I was aware of, and I took that risk of my own free will. Don’t blame Silas for my decisions.”
“So because Silas might have been able to stop me from killing you, it seemed like a good idea to risk getting your throat torn open by a monster?”
Sage didn’t flinch at my obvious anger. “Really hope my neighbor’s at work right now. Might want to keep your voice down, though.”
Shit. “Sorry. There’s no one next door right now, but that was stupid of me.”
“Kinda. And stop calling yourself a monster. You’re a vampire. So is Silas. I come from a long line of witches and half this town are shifters, magic users, or some other kind of non-human. Existing as a non-human does not make you a monster, and simply being human doesn’t mean you’re not one. I get the resentment over having your life flipped on its ass and all, but at some point, you’re just being a dick.”
I hadn’t really thought of it that way before, but maybe I was being a dick. Wouldn’t be anything new at this point. “I like overly polite Sage better,” I grumbled.
He snorted. “No you don’t, he’s no fun at all. He could never do something like this.”
And then I had a lap full of the most tempting man I’d ever met and no time to process what was happening before his mouth crashed into mine.