Chapter 13 #2
He flashes a cheeky grin. “I was on my way home myself.”
“Hmm, so I take it the night with Laura went well?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. She’s cool.”
“So, you’re gonna give her another shot?”
“Probably,” he replies with a shrug, returning his attention to the brake pad.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
I can’t help but wonder if Cam is thinking about her.
The one who broke his heart when we were eighteen and thought we were invincible.
Cam dates, but his heart is never fully invested.
He likes to have a good time, much like his brother Cade did before he met Oaklee, but he’s never truly all-in on the relationship.
He’s very guarded, and I know it’s because he’s trying to protect himself.
If he never gives his heart away, it won’t be broken again, right?
I thought by now he’d be over her, but honestly, I’m not sure he is.
It’s not fair to anyone involved, but who am I to judge?
I’m the one who’s been in lust with his older sister forever.
“Oh, hey, before I forget. The weather’s looking pretty decent next weekend. I want to get a camping trip in out at the timber,” he says, referring to Wyatt’s property.
Wyatt is good friends with Cade and Collin, and because of that relationship, the friendship has extended to Camden and me over the years.
He regularly lets us camp, fish, and ride four-wheelers on his property.
Cam and I have always had a love for the great outdoors, and camping is one of our favorite pastimes.
In mid-May, it’ll be colder than most prefer, but that doesn’t bother either of us.
“Sounds good. I’ll get stuff for dinner,” I tell him, already running through the list of some of our favorite campfire meals.
“Okay. I’ll stock the cooler and cover breakfast,” he replies. “I thought I’d see if anyone else wants to join us,” he adds.
“Fine with me.” And it is. While I enjoy going with just my friend, I admit it can be a hell of a good time with more people. And most everyone in his family and our friend group enjoys the outdoors as much as we do. The stories alone are pretty epic, not to mention the shit-talking and teasing.
“Charli said something the other day about being ready for summer so we could go. I’ll probably ask her.”
I feel his eyes on me, so all I do is shrug. “She’ll want to bring Sommer.”
He snorts and shakes his head. “She can snuggle with her, because she’s not getting in my sleeping bag,” he replies with a chuckle.
I don’t offer up mine. He knows I’d gladly share, even though we don’t talk about it.
“Cade and Collin?”
“Uhh, Collin will be working, but Cade may come. Not sure about Oaklee. She likes camping, but it may be too cold for her blood.”
“It’s too cold for most people’s blood,” I reply. “We’re all a little crazy.”
He lifts a shoulder and reaches for the tire to put it back on his truck. “That we are.”
I get off the stool and wait for him to secure the tire.
When he’s done, I lower the jack, while he starts to move his tools around to the driver’s side.
When he’s ready, I lift the truck so he can start the process all over again on that side.
He’s only changing the front brakes today, so it shouldn’t be too much longer.
After he’s done, we’re gonna change the oil in my truck.
Camden does all kinds of small projects like this in his garage, like oil changes, tire rotations, and brake fixes, while using the shop he works at for the big stuff.
The owner is cool about letting him use an open bay for personal use, as long as it’s within reason.
Camden never uses it during shop hours, only taking the space after work or on weekends.
He also never uses it for anyone but himself or immediate family.
When someone asks him to fix their car, he usually directs them to go through the shop.
The last thing he’d want is to take customers away from the guy who’s given him a job since he was seventeen.
When he dives into the next brake, he asks, “Hear from anyone yesterday?”
I don’t have to ask for clarification as to who he’s referring to. I know.
“Mom called me right before you got here.”
Cam snorts in disgust and shakes his head. “At least she remembered,” he says, meaning at least she recalled it was her only child’s birthday.
“Yeah,” I reply, shifting my weight from side to side. I tend to get a little fidgety anytime my parents are brought up.
“How is she?” he asks.
“Fine, I guess. Talked a lot about this new guy she’s dating.”
Camden turns around, brake job all but forgotten. He searches my face for any signs of stress or anger, two emotions associated with my parents on more occasions than not.
The truth is, I don’t really feel either of those things right now.
I feel like I harbored them and so much more for so long, I’m just…
over it. No, I haven’t forgotten, and no I haven’t forgiven them, really, but it’s just exhausting to get myself worked up over two of the world’s most selfish people.
I’m not afraid to admit it. I had shitty parents.
They didn’t abuse me, but they were far more concerned about themselves than to ever bother with me.
My dad was always searching for greener pastures, shoving his dick into any woman who’d let him, and my mom just wanted love.
She looked in all the wrong places and continues to do so to this day.
Whoever she was with always came first, and they weren’t exactly the most upstanding, respectable guys.
They were selfish pricks, having no time for the kid who was attached to the woman they were with.
Both of my parents definitely have a type, and they’re not good.
“You know I try not to say anything bad about your parents,” he starts, making me laugh.
“You wouldn’t be saying anything I haven’t thought a time or two.”
He nods, understanding me more than anyone else on the planet. “Fuck them.”
“Yep,” I reply, taking a drink of the bottled water I set on the counter.
There’s a sense of peace that washes over me.
I’ve come to terms with how I was raised and the fact I don’t have a relationship with my parents the way I want.
Does it hurt? Hell yes, it still hurts, but I can’t change it. I can’t change them. So, why try?
Instead, I focus on me, on what makes me happy, and where I want my life to go.
I’ll always be appreciative of the past that shaped me, but I refuse to let it define me.
I’m a better man because of it, and someday, I’ll be the best damn dad who ever walked this earth.
If that opportunity ever arises. Why? Because I know firsthand how not to be a parent.
My kid will never feel like they’re unwanted.
Lifting my chin, I can’t help but repeat Camden’s words. “Fuck them.”