Chapter 14
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
Maren
“Bedtime.”
“One more book!” Theo proclaims for the third time before yawning. Poor Camden has just read four books in the last half hour because my three-year-old has needed just one more.
“No more, Theo. Four books are more than you normally get, and now it’s past your bedtime. You have to get up for daycare tomorrow.”
“I get to pway,” he says before yawning for the second time.
“You sure do,” I confirm, extending my hand toward him.
Cam helps him stand, since he’s sitting on his lap on the couch, and sets the small stack of books on the end table. Theo takes my hand but extends his other one to his friend. Cam immediately gets up to follow, and my throat is suddenly tight with emotion.
We walk together as one unit to put Theo to bed.
My dad has helped me recently, and my mom back when Theo was younger, but this is a first for me.
Having a man with me as I take my son to bed for the night.
And not just any man, but Camden. Honestly, I would have thought monkeys would fly out of my ass before I suspected I’d have him beside me in a moment like this.
Our first stop is to the bathroom in the hallway, and while Theo and I slip inside, Camden waits in the hallway.
I fully expect him to make his escape, and I wouldn’t blame him.
He’s under no obligation to stay, despite the fact a three-year-old wants him to.
He has a life, a job and friends and family that doesn’t include us.
So when my son finishes using the potty, washing his hands, and steps outside the room, he’s so happy to see his friend waiting for him.
“Pick out your PJs,” I suggest when we enter his bedroom.
Theo releases my hand, but not Cam’s. He takes him to his dresser and carefully opens the bottom drawer. Camden helps him, ensuring the drawer doesn’t fall out. “Dis one or dis one?” my son asks his friend.
“Hmm, which one do you like most?” Camden asks, taking in both sets of pajamas that feature his favorite blue dog.
“Dis one,” Theo decides, holding up the two-piece, long-sleeved PJ set he received for Christmas.
“I like that one too,” Camden agrees.
“Come here, and I’ll help you change.” I retrieve a Pull-Up too, because even though he’s potty trained, it’s a newer feat and he still has occasional accidents.
Camden turns around to give us privacy, and while Theo tells me all about the building he and Cam constructed with the blocks earlier, I quickly help him into his pajamas. Finally, he climbs into his toddler bed and gets snuggled into his blankets.
“Good night, Theodore Adam Holm,” I say softly, earning the little giggle I expected to hear after using his full name.
“My name is Theo,” he replies.
I press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”
“Wove you,” he replies, turning his attention to Camden. He extends his arms, waiting for his hug.
“Good night, Theo.”
“Night-night, Cam. Wove you.”
Camden visibly swallows hard before whispering, “Love you too, little dude.”
We quietly exit the room. Neither of us says a word, and I find myself walking to the kitchen. I know we need to talk, and it’s practically the farthest point from Theo’s bedroom in hopes our discussion won’t reach his room.
The moment we’re inside the kitchen, I turn around and blurt out, “Your mom stopped by today.” When he doesn’t say anything right away, I continue, “I don’t want you to think I’m keeping that news from you or I’m using your family to get to you or anything like that.
She just stopped by and wanted to say hello.
Oh, and meet Theo.” My words came rushing out, my heart beating a little harder than before.
“I know.”
“You do?”
He cracks a small smile and leans against the counter in a casual manner.
It’s hard not to stare at the way his long-sleeved shirt molds to his arms and chest. “Well, not specifically that she stopped by to see you today, but she did let me know she was going to visit you, and since she dropped off some stuff at my place, it doesn’t surprise me she’d walk next door. ”
“Oh,” I reply, my breath rushing out as I relax. “Okay.”
When I look up and meet his gaze, there’s an intensity that makes me gulp. “Why, Maren?”
It’s not a question, but despite that fact, he deserves answers. “I was scared.”
That doesn’t seem to be the answer he was expecting. “What? Why?”
I exhale, trying to will my racing heart to slow. “Can we sit?” I ask, my legs feeling a bit weak.
He doesn’t reply, just walks over to the table and takes a seat in the same chair he occupied at dinner.
I sit across from him, his eyes watching my every move. “You know my parents were having issues my senior year, but the truth is, they had been unhappy for a while. Or at least my mom was. As I approached graduation, she kept insisting I really think about my future, about what I wanted in life.”
“Are you telling me you didn’t want what we had been talking about? The future we were discussing together?” he asks, the pain written all over his face.
“No,” I insist, rubbing the side of my head. “I did want that.”
“Just not enough,” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair.
“Will you let me finish, please?” I counter, getting annoyed.
He doesn’t reply, just stares at me.
Clearing my throat, I continue, “Anyway, she kept telling me that if I stayed, I was going to turn out just like her.” I feel the burn of tears, but I refuse to let them fall. I can’t change the decisions I made, just apologize to those I hurt and vow to do better moving forward.
“And you listened.” His words hold a bite, a harshness that I expect but yet, it hurts to hear, nonetheless.
“Yes.”
He huffs and shakes his head. “So, her words spoke louder than any I ever said.” The bitterness is replaced with sadness.
“In a way, yes,” I tell him, desperate to tell him everything. I need him to see the whole picture, not just a few pieces.
Unfortunately, he stands up and starts to pace immediately. “That’s great. I was expendable.”
“You weren’t,” I insist, standing up too and taking a step toward him. “Not in the way you are thinking.”
“You just said whatever I said didn’t fucking matter.”
“That’s not what I said. Stop putting words into my mouth.”
His blue eyes are blazing as he stops directly in front of me. “I fucking loved you. I would have done anything for you.”
“Same, Cam. Whether you want to believe it or not, that’s exactly how I felt about you,” I counter, starting to get angry myself, my voice rising without considering the fact my son is sleeping in the other room.
“But I was a dumb kid, and I let the influence of my mom hold a little too much weight. I let her words speak louder than yours, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hear what you were saying.
She painted a picture that terrified me, but my God, Cam.
I loved you so damn much. I’ve only ever loved you. ”
Suddenly, he’s there. His hands thread into my hair as he gently grips the sides of my head.
Moments later, his mouth slams onto mine.
It’s fierce and true, as if everything I’ve been missing in my life is finally right here in front of me.
It’s as if I’m truly home for the first time in more than seven years.
Home to Camden.
His tongue slides along my lips, delving into my mouth and tasting for the first time.
My hands grip his shirt, my fingers holding on tightly to that soft material as I pull him closer.
The desire to feel him against me is stronger than ever before, the heat of his skin, the weight of his body an addiction I didn’t even know I had until right now.
Or maybe I did, but it just laid dormant in wait.
Waiting for him.
I have no idea how long we make out like teenagers. It feels like hours, yet only seconds at the same time. Eventually, he breaks the kiss, his forehead pressed against mine as we both try to catch our breath. I’m terrified to open my eyes, afraid it will all be dream.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask, vocalizing probably the most important question of all.
“I don’t know, Shortcake,” he whispers, moving his hands to my back and holding me close. There’s no missing his erection pressed firmly between us, which sends a wave of lust bolting through my veins all over again. “I’m still confused and a little mad.”
“I know, Cam, and I understand completely. I’m mad at me too.”
He exhales loudly and slowly pulls back. Those intoxicating blue eyes bore into mine with vulnerability. “I still have a lot of questions.”
I swallow hard. “And I’ll answer any of them.”
“I want those answers now, but it’s getting late. We both have to work tomorrow,” he says.
I nod, knowing he’s probably right. We could very easily continue this discussion into the wee hours of the morning, and while I want to tell him everything because he needs to know every ugly detail, I’m not sure this is the right moment.
We need time to talk, and maybe, just maybe, after that… well, who knows.
“Have dinner with me.”
My eyes widen as I look up. “What?”
“Dinner. You and me…and Theo. I would suggest Mario’s, but we just had pizza tonight. Any requests?”
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Okay, well, think about it and let me know tomorrow. What time do you get off?”
I open my mouth, but it’s hard to talk when my brain is spinning like a top. “Uhh, my last scheduled appointment is at four, so I should be done around five to get Theo from daycare.”
He nods. “I should be home by five thirty or so. I’ll take a quick shower and then can meet you here.”
All I can do is stare at him. Not because I’m not excited or happy to have crossed some imaginary line in the sand, but simply for the fact it doesn’t feel real. “Why?” I whisper.
The corner of his mouth curls up ever so slightly. “Hell if I know,” he states with a chuckle. “I should walk away, but I can’t. You’re embedded here, Shortcake, and as hard as I try to fight it, I just can’t,” he says as he taps his chest over his heart.
A smile crosses my own lips as I look away.