Chapter 13 #2
The door clicked shut, and my tears fell. The room went silent, like it had all been a dream.
I sat in the dim light until my phone rang, breaking the quiet.
It was Chloe. "Luna, we're almost there. You home?"
Laila leaned in. "Sorry, Mommy, we went overtime. But it was so fun! Chloe got me tons of yummy stuff!"
I cleared my throat, forcing my voice normal. "It's okay, baby. Mommy's waiting."
After hanging up, I stood. But the ache between my legs made me stumble, nearly fall.
I grabbed the cabinet, flashes of him hitting me. Damn Cassian.
I went to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and faced the mirror.
The woman staring back had red-rimmed eyes and looked exhausted. I splashed cold water on my face, fixed my hair, and threw on a clean jacket.
Passing the living room, I picked up his used towel from the floor, tossed it in the washer, then yanked it out and chucked it in the trash.
No way I'd use it later and think of him.
When the door unlocked, I'd just cleaned up the mess in the living room and bedroom, leaning on the sofa with an ice pack on my eyes.
"Mommy!"
Laila burst in, throwing herself at my legs. She looked up, eyes sparkling like stars. Chloe smiled and shut the door behind.
"Mommy, I'm back! The Ferris wheel was awesome! You could see all of Washington in lights! Too bad the rain hit, couldn't stay outside."
I scooped her up; she wrapped her arms around my neck, warm and soft.
My irritation faded under her smile.
"Did Laila have fun?" I undid her messy braids.
"Yeah! Chloe got me so many gifts!" She sat up, opened her pink backpack, and showed me each one like treasure.
"And these." Chloe set a big bag on the coffee table.
"All this?"
"Couldn't help it." Chloe shrugged. "Laila's too cute."
I chuckled, patted Laila's head. "Okay, but it's bedtime for little ones now."
Laila pouted, dragging it out. "Okaaay—"
She hopped off, then remembered something, turned to Chloe.
"Chloe, next time we watch Mommy dance together!"
"Absolutely," Chloe promised seriously.
Laila grinned, bounced off to change.
I told Chloe to hang on and gave Laila a quick bath. The kid was wiped out, leaning on me halfway through, drowsy.
After, I tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and left the room.
Chloe sat cross-legged on the sofa, holding my ice pack.
"What happened, Luna?"
One simple question, and tears nearly came again.
Sometimes a friend's comfort breaks you.
"He was here?" Chloe sat up, eyes sharp on me.
"Yeah. He found my address." I sat beside her, half-reclining.
"Fuck." Chloe gritted her teeth. "He didn't do anything to you?"
I stared at the ceiling. "Does sex count?"
"What?" She jumped up, shocked. "You joking?"
"Wish I was." I shrugged. "But no."
I took a sip of water, then spilled everything to Chloe.
"Oh no... Luna... he's such a bastard!" After listening, Chloe went quiet, then cursed hard.
I shushed her quickly, nodding toward the bedroom.
Chloe breathed deep, lowered her voice. "So he buys that Laila's not his?"
"I don't know." I closed my eyes. "But I won't let her have a dad like that—unstable, can't control himself, always accusing first instead of trusting. I can't imagine what it'd do to her growing up like that."
"He—"
"Chloe." I cut in. "Tonight he comes, says he wants to change, says he's wrong. Then what? What does he do?"
Chloe stayed silent.
"He can't help himself," I said. "He knows I don't want it, but he does it anyway. Six years ago, same as now. He hasn't changed."
I got up, went to the window. The blue marble on the sill gleamed under the lamp.
Chloe joined me.
"So what's the plan?"
"I'll wrap up work here fast, then leave Washington." My voice stayed calm. "If I can, right after the last show."
"That soon?" Sadness crept in.
"Chloe." I turned to her. "You know what I was thinking earlier?"
She waited.
"When he touched me, my body reacted," I said. "Fuck, I hate myself for it. But it remembers him, remembers the past."
Chloe put her hand on mine quietly. "Honey, it's not your fault."
"I know," I said. "I'm not the puppet I was six years ago, staying by his side. So I have to go."
"Okay." She squeezed my hand. "Whatever you decide, I'm with you."
The rain had stopped outside; Washington's night went quiet, a car passing now and then, lights flashing through the curtain gaps, then gone.
"Head back," I said. "It's late."
Chloe nodded, grabbed her bag.
"Call me if anything. Anytime."
"Will do. Drive safe."
After seeing Chloe out, I shut the door and leaned against it.
The living room stayed quiet. I could almost hear Laila's steady breathing.
I went to the bedroom, stood by the bed for a bit. Soft light hit her face, making it glow gently.
I knelt, brushed hair from her forehead.
"Baby," I whispered. "Mommy won't let anyone hurt you. No matter who."
She rolled over, grabbed the blanket, and kept sleeping.
I lay down too, staring at the ceiling.
My body still felt his touch. His fingers' warmth, his racing heartbeat, the desperate force of his kisses.
I closed my eyes, breathed deep, and let it out slowly.
One month from now, Washington, Cassian, all this mess—
It'd be over.
This time, no one could change my mind.