Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JAY
A clap of thunder from a morning storm echoed through Jay’s bedroom, forcing open his tired eyes. Sleep had not come easily, his brain toggling between Claire and Hope all night. An unhealthy game of compare and contrast between the two women.
He sat up and perched on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes with force.
When he focused again, his gaze fell on his wedding band lying on the bedside table.
He slid it in place, the metal cool against his skin.
Was the band suddenly a little loose on his finger?
He’d lost a few pounds in the months since Hope’s death, but nothing truly noticeable.
Hope was a slave to the gym and watched her weight like a prize fighter. She’d probably congratulate me.
The buzz of his cell phone pulled him back. Hoping to see Claire’s name on the screen, he sighed with a touch of disappointment seeing Rob’s name instead.
“Hey!” Jay answered, trying to sound upbeat.
“Hold on.” Rob covered the receiver and hollered several firm commands which Jay suspected were directed at his children. “Sorry. Abby’s out and it’s a zoo in here. How’d it go with Dragon Lady Nails?”
“She wants in. I emailed legal and the contract is being drawn up right now.”
“Jay, this is fantastic!” Rob said. “This collab is gonna be huge. I can’t believe you didn’t call me.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy catching up with an old friend.”
“Anyone I know?” he asked.
“Yes, actually. Do you remember the woman I met in the bar in Negril?”
"The married woman?” Rob questioned. “Who looks like Kate Hudson?"
"Kate Winslet. But yes, that's the one."
"No shit? But how?"
"I ran into her. She's still a dead ringer for Winslet but it turns out, she's not married. Never has been."
"I knew something must have happened Friday night, I just didn't know what. Then when I didn’t hear from you yesterday I thought maybe the deal crashed and burned."
"Listen, can I ask you something?”
"Of course," Rob replied.
"Do you believe in fate?” Jay asked. “I mean really believe in it?"
"I guess I would say that I do, but only to a point. I think it can play a part, but it’s ultimately up to you. The way I see it, life writes you a check but it's up to you to cash it. Know what I mean?"
"Yeah,” Jay said quietly. “Life wrote me a pretty sizable check… and it bounced."
"How? Rob asked.
"Claire and I ran into each other Friday night—at the dinner where I met up with the head of Dragon Lady. I couldn’t believe it, and she was just as surprised as me.
Anyway, we spent the rest of the night together, dancing and laughing.
We went out for gelato and talked. I asked to see her again and she said yes.
So, we went to dinner last night. We talked for hours. Then we came back here."
"Okay, so what's the problem?"
"There was no problem—that's the problem," Jay said.
"I don't follow."
"I never once thought of Hope," Jay said after a long pause. "Well, that's not entirely true. She asked me how Hope died and I told her. Then I changed the subject. Everything was going great… until I saw my wedding ring on the coffee table."
"And that's a problem, how?" Rob asked.
"Shouldn't I be mourning the loss of my wife, Rob?” Jay asked. “Not trying to seduce some woman I've only seen a few times. We spent a few hours in a bar together once. Then several hours Friday and a few last night. What kind of man am I?"
"The only kind you can be. The kind of man who feels. There's no right or wrong here, Jay. There's only what you feel. And like I told you before, you ain’t on a clock."
"Last night was incredible,” Jay’s voice tightened. “But now I can't think straight.”
Rob fell silent on the other end. More than ever, Jay craved his straightforward wisdom.
"When you're with Claire… are you able to think straight then?" Rob asked.
“Not only am I able to think straight, I never knew it could feel this good,” Jay’s voice began to crack. “I never felt this excited about Hope when we first started out. Is that fucked up or what? Hope is dead, and all I can think about is Claire. All I want is a woman I don’t even fucking know?”
“It’s not fucked up, Jay.”
“I can’t do this anymore,” Jay said. “I feel like the goddamn walls are closing in around me. I can hardly breathe.”
Jay’s heartbeat rocketed to a level he hadn’t experienced since the moment he opened his door to the police officers delivering the news of Hope’s death. His vision turned blurry and he sank to the floor. He'd had a couple of panic attacks before, and this had all the makings of one.
“I’m not feeling well, Rob,” he said, forcing the words out. “I’ll call you back later.”