Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CLAIRE
“Thy fate is the common fate of all. Into each life some rain must fall." Jay reached a hand out from under the safety of their hideaway, letting the drops fall onto his open palm.
"James Whitcomb Riley?" Claire guessed.
"No. Actually, another thrice-named poet. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow." He watched the rain, filling his hand like a cup.
"You're quite the scholar of literature and poetry."
"Not really,” he said. “Just blessed with a photographic memory."
“Which attributes to your vast business success, I presume.”
“I just happened into the right market at the right time. A lot of it’s luck.”
“Even the Paris deal?” she asked.
“Yes, actually. Just being in the right place at the right time.”
“So, stand-alone stores in France as well as England?”
“That’s the plan, but not the most important item on my plate.”
“What is? If that’s not being too nosy.”
"Well, right now I'm working on a merger," he said with a wink.
"A merger?" She laughed. "Top secret, no doubt? Very hush-hush?"
"I'm definitely keeping this one on the downlow. The company I'm interested in has suffered some losses in the past, so I'm treading lightly."
"Minding your p's and q's? But still ready to strike when the time is right?"
"Exactly."
"What makes you think this mystery company has suffered losses?" she asked.
He stretched his hand back out into the rain, allowing the drops to run down his fingers. "I ran into the CEO a while back. From what I could tell, she was in the midst of serious negotiations with another company." He reached for her left hand, running his wet thumb over her bare ring finger.
Claire swallowed hard, surprised by the sudden and serious change in their conversation.
In all their midday lunches and late-night phone calls, she’d yet to open every door of her past. Sure, she'd told him about her childhood. The years with and without her mother. The relationship with her father. The failed romances that had left her somewhat jaded. But the days she’d shared with Calvin remained dark.
She didn't really have a reason for holding back.
Jay couldn't be more honest and understanding.
But somehow, saying it out loud would make it real, compounding her guilt and shame a million times over.
"Sorry. I'm being pushy," he said.
"No, it’s okay," she reassured him. “I'm almost there. I promise.”
"You don't have to explain. I only want to know if you want me to know."
Everything in his eyes said safety. Whatever she chose to tell him or whatever she decided to withhold, he wasn't there to judge.
“It’s ironic, you know,” Claire began. “Every day, we face thousands of choices—some life-changing, some mundane. Some connect directly to each other, while others seem completely unrelated. You send a meaningless text that changes everything. Someone tells you they’ll be right back, but they never return.
One day, you wake up in a strange place, following a path that takes you somewhere you never expected.
The only thing left to do is keep moving forward because the road behind you has washed away and—”
“Claire,” Jay interrupted. “We don’t have to talk about this now.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said. “We were never engaged. He proposed, but I said no. I’d gotten the job offer here, and I told him I was taking it.
I spent two years trying to make things work between us.
I really did try. But his career demanded everything from him, and there was never much room left for anything else.
“Then he got into a terrible accident. I don’t like talking about it. I only kept wearing the ring as a reminder, which doesn’t even make sense now, considering there was never a future for us anyway…”
She searched Jay's eyes, looking for signs of something, she didn't know what exactly. But she found only those things she'd seen so many times before: empathy, caring, acceptance.
"Like you, I've struggled with immense guilt and second-guessing and what-ifs. If I'd said yes to his proposal, he wouldn’t have left in the middle of the night and there would have been no accident. Would we still be together today? I don’t know.
Could I have lived in what I know in my heart would have been a wreck of a marriage just for the sake of saving him?
I'm not that noble. That's the guilt I live with every day. If I could go back and change my answer, would I? Knowing the tragedy of the ending? The truth is, I know I wouldn’t, and it's hard to face myself most mornings knowing that. "
Jay pulled her close, and her body relaxed against his in a way it hadn’t before.
She’d shared more of her private thoughts than she expected.
Names and dates and details could come later, once she got a firmer grip on her guilt.
At times, she felt trapped in a web and wondered if Jay felt it too—if every emotion she described echoed inside him in the same way.
“Everything happens for a reason, Claire. Every first and last breath.” He pressed his lips against her temple. “You’ve helped me see that when no one else could.”
The rain stopped, almost as suddenly as it started. But her mind raced, hit with dozens of thoughts at once, pelting her as the rain had minutes before.
How did I get here? How can fate be both debilitating and invigorating? His cologne smells earthy and warm. What if I’d refused to let Calvin leave? Is it true that someone can feel this good? God, can it really feel this good?
Images flashed in her mind, each one centered on Jay.
Sitting together near the piano. Their first lunch date after months of silence.
Snuggled up watching an old movie. Nothing about their time together seemed especially grand or extraordinary.
They hadn’t traveled the world or witnessed miracles.
They hadn’t even slept together. And yet, somewhere inside those small, fleeting moments, she’d finally found herself.
“I’m sure there are a million places you’d rather be than here in the rain, listening to me ramble on,” she said.
Expecting one of his famously clever quips, she found herself caught off guard by the seriousness in his reply. His lips lingered just above her ear, and his whisper reached a place deep inside her she hadn’t even known existed.
“I only need to be in one place … and that’s with you.” He touched her chin, turning her face to his.