Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CLAIRE
Claire’s goal to wrap the New York project by noon had come and gone.
With a stack of papers still on her borrowed desk, she knew the delay wasn’t entirely her fault.
Jay had called multiple times, pulling her out of focus with his sharp, twisted sense of humor.
Even though they would be together in a few hours, she couldn’t stop the flutter already building in her chest.
If I hurry, I can be out of here by four.
She shuffled through another stack of proofs, exhaling heavily just as her phone rang again.
Liz’s name flashed across the screen. Claire didn’t move.
She only stared at it, waiting to see if it would ring off as it had before.
After the fourth ring, she drew a shaky breath and pressed speaker.
"Liz? Oh my God, hi. I can’t believe—”
"It’s not Liz. It’s me”
"Cally?" she whispered.
"It's so good to hear your voice, love.” he said.
Claire sank down into the desk chair, stunned.
"Claire, are you there?" he asked.
"Uh, yeah, I’m here,” she said.
A long silence stretched between them as Claire tried to untangle the flood of emotions knotting inside her.
"Quite a shock, I'm sure," he added. “I made Liz give me her phone. I wouldn't take no for an answer. I’m sure that doesn't surprise you."
Somewhere in the back of her mind, hidden beneath layers of guilt, she knew.
Eventually Calvin would come back… to himself and to her.
There'd never really been anyone else in either of their lives.
He'd enjoyed a string of actresses and models over the years, but the women in his past were little more than props for his A-lister persona.
She'd dated a number of interesting men—academics, adventurers, even a pro football player—but never for more than the occasional night on the town.
"How's, uh, how’s your physical therapy going?" she finally asked.
"It's bloody brutal if you want to know the truth, but like you always said, I’m not afraid of a little hard work.”
Calvin laughed, but Claire's heart contracted with pain. His tone didn't fool her. His humor had always been a mask. She closed her eyes, seeing the image of Calvin lying in the hospital with haunting clarity.
"I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
"You want to know something? It doesn't hurt nearly as much as losing you."
Emotions rushed to the surface as tears filled her eyes. When she didn’t respond, he quickly changed the subject.
“So, how is life in London? Are you happy at Avi?”
“It’s been challenging, but I’m adjusting,” she said.
“What’s the weather like there at the moment? A soggy mess, I suppose?”
“Actually, I’m not in London. I’m working on a project at our New York office.”
“You’re in New York? For how long?” he asked.
“Just through the weekend. We, uh… I mean, I fly back to London on Sunday.”
“God, if I could, I’d be on the next plane. I’d give anything to see you, Claire. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“It’s good to hear yours too. Really, really good.”
“You could hop on a flight out here. I’d love to show you my new set of wheels.”
“You’re driving again?” she asked.
“The most incredible little ride you’ve ever seen. Even got the guys down at Orange County to pimp it up a bit.”
“You’re cruising around on a motorcycle?” Claire asked.
Calvin laughed. “Not yet. No, it’s my wheelchair. It brings all the girls to the yard.”
“Well, I wouldn't put it past you,” she said, her tone now more relaxed.
"Yes, well, the Calvin Butterworth of days gone by might have climbed back up in the saddle, throwing caution to the wind. But that reckless personality has undergone some major changes and not just on the physical side. You'd be really proud of me."
"I am really proud of you, Cally,” she said softly.
Claire listened as he shared the details of his recovery.
His time in the hospital following her departure.
The reality of coming so close to death.
Physical therapy. Painkillers. Psychologists.
His days were no longer controlled by market share and target audience.
No more lying in bed until noon and working until daylight.
He sounded like a new man. A completely different soul.
One with focus. Determination. And a longing to reclaim something special.
"It's taken a helluva lot of work for me to get to the place I am now.
My mother and Lucy and Liz have been wonderful.
The team of doctors I'm working with are absolutely top-notch.
They've worked hard to help me get back on track, and I've made real progress.
And this week, I was able to meet the husband of my guardian angel. "
"Guardian angel?" Claire asked, confused.
“I guess I should back up a bit, shouldn’t I?
When I ran off the road and flipped after doing 90 mph like a complete lunatic, a woman stopped to help me.
She called the paramedics and stayed with me until they arrived.
I never got her name, but I burned her face in my memory.
I’ve been trying to find her for months and this week, I did.
Only I found out that after she stopped to render aid, she later lost control of her own car on her way home and died. ”
Claire’s hand shot to her mouth in horror. “Oh, Cally, you can’t be serious. Oh, my God. That is so tragic. How did you find this out?”
“Liz met a man who knew the woman’s husband. He put us in contact with one another. I met with him a few days ago. To be able to hug this man, share in his grief, and praise his wife for her selfless act. It was an incredible moment.”
“I can’t believe it.” Claire leaned back in the desk chair, her mind reeling.
"He told me about his guilt following her accident.
His wife was actually on her way home so that they could discuss divorce proceedings.
Evidently, they hadn't been happy for a long time.
They'd had a fight before she left that evening, which created a whole new level of guilt for him.
It's pretty ironic when you think about it.
I mean, here we were, two successful men in the same city, swallowed up in an unexpected twist that changed the course of our lives.
He was ready to close one chapter while I was trying to start a new one.
" He stopped and took a breath. “You know, I don't think I slept for about three months after I was released from the hospital.
I relived that night a thousand different ways.
I did so many things wrong. Things that had nothing to do with the accident. "
Again, Claire struggled to find a worthy reply, but Calvin didn't give her a chance, and he continued on.
"I know I can't go back and change what happened. I only have today and maybe, if I'm lucky, tomorrow."
"That's all any of us have,” she whispered.
Silence fell again. Claire shifted in her chair, restless as she pictured him.
His salt and pepper hair pushed haphazardly to one side.
His tanned arms, once strong and athletic, now likely changed by time and confinement to a wheelchair.
A hopeful smile, readying himself to take on the world again.
Their conversation stayed mostly light, but Claire held her breath anyway, anxiety tightening its grip.
Something felt like it was building toward a turning point, and she couldn’t tell whether it would steady her or shake everything loose.
"I don't want to waste another moment, Claire. Not a single, precious, fleeting moment. I was an idiot—angry, mixed-up. I'm so very sorry."
"Cally, please don't—" she began.
"I quit Hollywood. I've given it up, along with the cars, the booze, cell phones, late-night meetings, and the occasional cigarette. I don't want to make the same mistakes. I just want the chance to win back the one person who means more to me than anything in the world."
Tiny pains streaked across Claire’s brain, signaling the start of a possible migraine. It was the last thing she expected during what had been an otherwise incredible week.
"All I want is to spend some time with you. You know, Cary Grant was heartbroken and confused but he gave Deborah Kerr another chance."
A searing heat rushed through Claire’s entire body, as though her blood had suddenly turned to lava. "What did you just say?"
"In An Affair to Remember. Liz and I watched that movie recently.
I couldn't stop thinking about how much her character resembles you.
But by the end of the movie, I'd become the Deborah Kerr character, hiding myself from the chance that I could be happy despite my circumstances.
I decided at that moment that I didn't want to live that way. "
All at once Molly’s statement flashed across her mind.
What are you going to do when he does call?
Because he will call, Claire. Men don’t just walk away from you.
Of course, Molly had been talking about Jay at the time, but the sentiment was no less fitting.
She’d spent months compartmentalizing her life, keeping Calvin and the accident secret from Jay, and in a sense, hiding the truth to protect herself.
“I’d like to try to rebuild a relationship with you, Claire, if you’re willing. If Jay can find the strength to move on and find love after his devastating loss, then I know I can too.”
Claire froze. Jay? Did he just say Jay? Am I hearing things? My God, am I losing my mind?
"Jay who?” she asked, barely able to get the words out.
"Hope's husband."
"Hope who?" Claire asked softly, her head spinning frantically.
"Hope Hanks—the woman who saved me then later died in her own accident. Are we having two different conversations?" he asked.
"Jay Hanks?" she asked, the walls of her tiny workspace closing in around her.
"Actually, his name's Avery."