Chapter 39
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
JAY
Jay woke with a raging headache. An empty glass still sat in his hand.
He rolled over and took in evidence of the night: Baileys to bourbon to every mini bottle from the bar.
They now stood in a neat row along the edge of the coffee table like little soldiers.
Jay wasn’t a heavy drinker. He enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner, a Scotch and soda after closing a business deal, or a beer or two while watching college football.
But Claire’s startling revelation had left him confused and unsteady, and he had turned to the tiny bottles to numb the pain.
Following her unexpected declaration, he hadn’t found much to say as he processed the enormity of their situation.
They exchanged a few words—mostly dates and times.
Hope’s funeral. The scene at the hospital with Calvin’s sister.
They reconstructed those first few days following the accident but spoke little of the real emotion now churning inside each of them.
Finally, exhausted and out of words, Claire excused herself and went to the bedroom.
Alone in the living room, Jay replayed his conversation with Calvin until his mind could no longer dissect it.
Eventually, he drifted into a sleep that offered no peace.
Horrific images filled his dreams as he tried to rescue Hope from a sunken dinghy, the ocean current pulling her lifeless body just beyond his reach.
He woke once, disoriented, struggling to recognize his surroundings.
Claire lay behind the closed bedroom door, sleeping—or so he assumed.
He wanted to join her, to feel the warmth of her beside him and believe, even briefly, that everything might still be alright.
But his limbs felt heavy, weighed down by alcohol still moving through his system.
Within moments, rational thought slipped away again, and he sank back into his dreams.
It was now almost seven. The bedroom door remained closed, and Jay listened for signs that she might be awake. He reached for his phone and spoke to Twigg, requesting black coffee and one of everything from the breakfast menu. Falling back on the sofa, he sighed and waited.
They had nothing on the books for the day.
Her project was complete. They’d missed the concert.
Their flight back to London wasn’t until mid-morning on Sunday.
With the tension now hanging between them, Jay wanted to create a calm, restful day for her—and for himself.
The rain had moved on, but a dark cloud still hung over their elegant suite.
He’d do whatever he could to guide them back to a place of healing and security.
Maybe just a quiet day of naps and room service.
Twigg arrived with a loaded cart. Jay watched as he set the table, wondering if Claire felt the same pang of hunger now stirring inside him.
He thanked the man with a handshake before walking him back to the door.
Turning back toward the bedroom, he startled when a fully-dressed Claire stepped into the living room, suitcase by her side.
She met his eyes. The anguish behind them tightened something in his chest.
“Going somewhere?” he asked.
“My flight leaves in a few hours,” she said, her tone flat and detached.
Jay watched as she darted around the suite, gathering up her personal effects. He searched his mind for a bit of Dr. Larson wisdom, but this type of scenario hadn’t been addressed during his therapy.
“May I ask where?”
“I think you already know the answer,” she replied, stuffing her laptop into her briefcase.
“Can we at least talk about this?” Jay asked, fighting to keep his voice calm and even.
“I don’t really know what to say.”
He stood beside her and pulled her briefcase from her grasp. “Just say you’ll stay.”
She looked away. “Please don’t make this any harder for me.”
She crossed the room several times, checking that everything was in order.
Her eyes paused on the gift box that had once held her new necklace, but she left it on the table.
She went back into the bedroom again, and Jay struggled to find the right words—words that might keep her from boarding a plane to L.A.
He thought about Rob and his views on love and trust. He had never loved or trusted someone more.
Deep down, he knew he had to let her go.
With her coat in hand, she turned to him and said, “A car is waiting, so I better get going.”
He tucked his hands in the pockets of his wrinkled pants. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Jay,” she said.
“Then don’t get on that plane.”
Her eyes welled up. “I have to. Surely you understand.”
“No, you don’t.” He closed the distance between them. “You don’t have to do anything except let me love you.”
“I left him once when he really needed me. My actions caused this entire situation—for both of us. I have to go back. If Hope called, after everything that happened, what would you do, Jay? Think long and hard… because I know I have.” She blinked, releasing a string of tears.
Her logic tore clean through him. It was a point he couldn’t argue. His mind spun, searching desperately for words that might make her change her mind.
“I have to do this my way,” she said. “Please just let me go.”
He touched her cheek. “I don’t want to let you go.”
Claire looked at him with eyes full of twisted emotion. “Calvin needs me,” she said, her bottom lip trembling.
“I need you,” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.