Chapter 12
Neptune
The grass beneath my body was wet, yet it was the only thing I’d felt in eight days.
Even after planning my father’s service and watching his brothers grieve, my brain still had a hard time accepting the truth.
One second, I was spending time with two of the most important people in my life, and the next, I was getting a call that my last living parent was dead.
Truthfully, I didn’t even know if that was true.
So much had happened in a short time. The only thing I could be sure of was Kitty having my baby.
“Neptune, it’s getting late.”
I didn’t sit up to address Kannon, but she came to me as if she heard my heart. With no direction, my pretty lady slid between my legs and rested her head against my chest.
“It breaks my heart to see you lost in your thoughts, Neptune. I told you I wouldn’t mind helping plan the service.”
“Yeah, and I told you I didn’t want your help. A pregnant woman doesn’t have any business planning a funeral if she can help it, and you can.”
Since we found out she was pregnant, Kannon had been attached to my hip. However, the death of my father linked our hearts. Kannon had been by my side since I received the call, and even when I didn’t vocalize what I needed, she knew how to calm my nerves.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“There’s so much I want to say, and so much that doesn’t matter anymore.”
She rubbed her hand back and forth over my thigh, soothing away some of the tightness in my body.
“I met up with the nigga who confronted me outside of your house.”
“For what? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know he existed if I had to bury him. We met up about two weeks before my dad died. The story he told me about Valerie and my dad differed from what I’ve always been told.” My eyes held onto the stars above. “He claims Valerie is alive.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Why would someone lie about their mama being alive?” I shut my eyes. “He hasn’t asked me for a dime, and he isn’t looking for a connection to the streets. Plus, he showed me pictures of her—old and new.”
“Damn,” she whispered. “Is this a good or bad thing?”
“I don’t know yet. What I do know is that I feel like shit for being pissed at my dad when he died. I knew about the claim before his birthday party, and I looked at him sideways instead of just asking what I wanted to know.”
“Don’t blame yourself for being human. The respect you have for him made you second guess questioning him.”
Tears threatened to fall from my eyes when I shook my head. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe he’ll never meet our baby.”
“Trust me, I know that feeling all too well. I also know with the right tribe around, we can raise our baby surrounded by love. Hell, our baby doesn’t need grandparents.
Uncle Easy don’t play,” she joked, calming my harmful thoughts.
“Speaking of him, where’s Easy? I thought he was spending the night. ”
“I did too, then Stephanie stopped by my dad’s house with her parents, and that went out the window. I want him comfortable, so I didn’t press the issue.”
“Well, I want you comfortable too. Do you have an appetite? I made some chicken and beef skewers, vermicelli rice, and a salad.”
“Sounds good. I’ll go grab the food.”
Her face screwed up when I moved to stand. “No, you won’t. I got it. I’m only in my second trimester, and you treat me like I’m about to bust.”
“I treat you like a queen. There’s a difference, Kitty.”
While she went into the house, I moved to the deck for better lighting and more room. I wasn’t hungry, but I was thirsty for time with Kannon that didn’t include a heavy topic. She had been a trooper lately, and I didn’t want every memory with me to be touched by trauma.
“Damn, this looks good, baby,” I said while admiring the Mediterranean spread and iced bottle of Don Julio.
“Thank you. Since I’ve been sitting in the house for the last month, I’ve been saving recipes that have come in handy.”
I observed a small box in a corner of the tray. “Where you get the puzzle?”
“I picked it up while you were out. It’s not as grand as the ones in your house, but I want us to do it together.”
My lips curved at the idea of Kannon catering to my interests. “I love you for knowing what I need. Let’s get to it. Where’s the box? I want to see the full picture.”
“Nope. I want you to follow my lead. It won’t take long for the picture to become clear.”
“All right. I can do that.”
I turned on a random playlist and got lost while putting the puzzle together. With only 2,050 pieces to work with, Kannon and I communicated and fussed until a cartoon style visual of Kannon, a baby, and me wrapped in a pink blanket became clear.
“We’re having a girl,” I said as the realization hit me.
I leaned forward and christened Kannon’s belly with kisses when I saw tears in her gaze. There was so much wrong going on in my life, yet God granting me the chance to have a daughter was enough right for me.
“I know you didn’t care if we waited or not, but I wanted to know,” Kannon stated. “I’m just happy you’re smiling. I was a little worried when the doctor said we were having a girl.”
“Why?”
“Well, I know how crucial your family and people connected to your family can be. They’ll respect our daughter because she has your last name, but when the conversation of her gaining power comes up, there may be some push back. Baby girl will have to work twice as hard as our son.”
“She won’t. Our daughter won’t have to prove herself to nobody but herself. We have no idea what she will want to do with her life. Whatever it may be, she’ll have the support she needs to be the best. Anybody who stands in the way of that will have to see me.”
Wet eyes made it hard to see the exit of the church, but when the sun hit my face, I knew I’d made it to the end of my father’s funeral.
At his request, they would cremate his body after the service was done and everyone had the chance to say farewell.
When I discovered the demand was in his will, it didn’t sit right with me.
However, now that the day had come, I was grateful we didn’t have to take a trip to the cemetery.
From where I stood, I looked at the scene outside of the church.
Black trucks and expensive cars filled the block, and hundreds of people moved around in their Sunday’s best. I knew when I booked the mega church for the funeral that it was necessary.
My father’s reputation was heavy, and people loved to show up to make it known they had some connection to the big dawg.
If I had it my way, I would’ve gone home after the service.
But I fulfilled my duties as the oldest son and went to the repast held at my father’s home.
Kannon tried to convince me to eat, but I declined the offer.
Just like my social battery had hit zero, so had my appetite.
I exchanged a few words with people I barely knew before disappearing to the quietest spot in the house.
As soon as I was comfortable on the balcony, memories of my father found me.
He may not have always been nice, but he was present.
When I was younger, I couldn’t recall too many times he told me no, and though his encouragement contained insults, he motivated me.
Regret plagued my heart when I recalled how dismissive I was during our last conversation.
Even if I wouldn’t have liked his side of the story, I deserved to hear it.
“I see not much has changed. My baby still loves a quiet corner.”
It had been years since I’d heard the soft, raspy speech, but I could never forget my mother’s voice.
At one time, it was a lullaby, but after she left, it haunted me in my sleep.
After I spoke to her youngest son, I knew Valerie would make an appearance.
I just didn’t believe she would pick today to resurface.
“What the hell are you doing here, Valerie?”
“I came back for my babies now that the devil is dead,” she spoke with conviction. “I’ve dreamed of this moment many nights after he almost killed me.”
Taken aback, I stabbed her with a pointed stare.
“I’m sorry, Neptune. This isn’t the time or place to have this conversation.
I just wanted to be honest. From what EJ told me, honesty isn’t something you’ve received.
” She fidgeted with her long nails. “I have waited to see you for so long. You have grown to be as handsome and majestic as I knew you would be.”
“No thanks to you.” I snarled. “Where the hell have you been? How could you let someone keep us from you? My baby isn’t even here, and I would die before I let anyone threaten our bond. I would never leave her because she was born special.”
“Wait. Is that what you think? I left because of Easy?” She exhaled.
“Neptune, I cheated on your father. I did. Of course, that reduced my position in his life. I didn’t fight it, and I gladly agreed to leave, but he made it hard.
He wouldn’t allow me to take you and your brother, so I stuck around.
I walked on eggshells to keep the three of us together, but that wasn’t good enough.
” She shook her head, urging tears to tumble down her cheeks.
“One night, things just blew up. Your father threatened to kill your brother if I didn’t leave.
I had already fucked up by picking a shitty father for my kids.
I couldn’t be the reason we left you in this world alone. ”
Valerie assumed I was oblivious to my father’s rage, but I wasn’t. It was rare that I was on the receiving end, but I had witnessed how cruel he could be to someone who crossed him.
“Little do you know, living without you was a hell of its own.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I got a lot on my heart right now, Valerie. You’re bold for coming here, but we have to table this conversation.”