Chapter 10
NOW
I stood in the corner of the Parkrun pavilion staring at the message I’d drafted to Matt.
Hey! On my way to meet you! I bumped into someone on my run. He’s just moved to Melbourne! We knew each other at Oxford. We dated actually haha! Can’t wait to see you!
No, I couldn’t send it. No one sane used that many exclamation marks. But mainly because I couldn’t announce the existence of an ex-boyfriend over a text. Not having the ex chat always seemed like I was taking the high road – very Michelle Obama. It was a massive oversight. I pressed delete.
I was overthinking it. It would be fine. We’d have one coffee together, and Matt would see that Alex and I working together on a case was nothing to worry about. There would be no hiding and no secrets.
I put my phone away.
‘Let’s go!’ I said.
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Alex replied, and he clicked his heels together.
‘Wow, I’m not old enough to be a ma’am,’ I said.
‘You’re about to be married. And you live in a land filled with nuclear families, wearing pale shades of linen,’ he said.
I wanted to take offence, but it wasn’t a totally unfair observation.
The area we were walking through, which wasn’t far from our house, was dominated by young couples who all seemed to be out and about, walking their one to two children – dressed in Purebaby or Seed – in American or Danish prams. Matt and I called them the ‘Beautiful Families’, and though it was easy to laugh off the Steiner kinders and the yummiest of mummies, Matt and I hoped that soon we would be their people.
‘Congratulations on working out how to fix hearts,’ I said, changing the subject. And although I was teasing him, the praise was sincere.
‘God, I can’t believe I used to say stuff like that!’ he said with a laugh. ‘I had so much bravado back then. I think I was compensating for a complete lack of confidence.’
I turned to him to see if he was being facetious. He’d seemed nothing but confident back then. The idea that it wasn’t how he saw it, that he might have changed and become more self-aware was somehow unsettling.
‘Well, you did the thing. The tool you made sounds incredible. Seriously,’ I said.
Alex had created a diagnostic tool that was able to use AI to review chest scans and determine the probability of future heart disease.
Once it was in the market it would be able to prevent a lot of the issues that were missed, particularly in women, whose heart conditions were often overlooked because their cardiac episodes didn’t look like the ones men had on TV. His work would save lives.
‘I think I got lucky with timing,’ he said. ‘A lot of the technology went from theoretical to scalable while my team was researching.’
‘I bet your mum would have been really proud,’ I said, feeling compelled to meet his humility with genuine praise.
‘There’s still a lot of work to do,’ he said finally. He kept his gaze straight ahead.
‘Yeah. I guess there’re always broken hearts to fix,’ I said, and then instantly regretted it.
‘Rebecca... we should talk about what happened that night—’
‘Hey, we don’t get nostalgic, remember?’ I knew I was being unfair, but I wanted to get through coffee, not excavate the past.
By the time we reached the market, it was already pumping. I led him past the fruit and vegetable stands around the market’s perimeter, where shoppers were piling produce into trolleys.
I checked my phone and saw that Matt had messaged me: Got our usual table.
My stomach tightened.
I led Alex past the row of butchers’ stalls, trying not to think about all the mornings we’d spent in Oxford’s Covered Market, drinking strong coffee in a small cafe we’d discovered hidden away in the market’s rafters.
‘Do you eat meat now?’ I asked.
‘Still no,’ he replied. I wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t a man of moderation, I knew he’d either eat no meat or eat it like a caveman. He didn’t live life in liminal spaces.
We turned the corner and walked until we reached Padre Coffee, my favourite cafe, in the centre of the market.
Matt was already perched out the front. As usual, he was wearing an outfit that could take him anywhere – an inky blue jumper and brown cotton shorts.
He had his AirPods in, and I guessed he was listening to one of the many podcasts he churned through every week.
He saw me walking towards him and smiled broadly, pulling out his headphones.
‘This is Alex,’ I said, before we were close enough to warrant an introduction. ‘We knew each other at Oxford. We were together for a bit. Like dated, you know!’ I laughed as if I’d made a joke.
‘Hi, Alex. I’m Matt.’ He stuck out his hand with a friendly smile. I exhaled.
‘I bumped into Alex on my run,’ I said, slightly glossing over the stalker element as they shook hands. ‘He’s been living in the States and is new to Melbourne, so I thought I’d show him where to get a decent coffee.’
‘We’re coffee snobs here,’ Matt said as we all sat around the table that was slightly too small for the three of us. ‘What can I get you?’
‘He drinks a long black,’ I said quickly. Though that could have changed in the intervening years – maybe he was a Starbucks Gingerbread Latte guy.
‘That would be great, thanks mate,’ Alex said. Mate? Where had that come from?
‘I can grab them,’ I offered, but Matt had already jumped up. I exhaled – I was glad I didn’t have to leave Matt and Alex alone.
‘He seems nice,’ Alex said.
‘He is. He’s the best,’ I said. ‘But you don’t like “nice” people. You always said that nice people were compensating for something.’
‘I’ve since learned that everyone is compensating for something.’
‘What are you compensating for?’
‘You already know the answer to that,’ he said.
Before I could reply, Matt returned to the table, holding a plate filled with what looked like one of every pastry they sold.
‘In case your run didn’t knock the hangover on the head,’ Matt explained. ‘We had Rebecca’s mum’s birthday dinner last night.’
‘Ahh – no wonder you drank,’ Alex said.
‘Thanks, Matt – these looks delicious,’ I said, ignoring Alex.
I reached forwards and grabbed a croissant and began to tear it into chunks.
‘Alex is the client on my new project. ATG bought his research, and they’ve hired us to work out the best way to sell it,’ I said in one big gush of words. I stuffed a piece of flaky pastry into my mouth. It should’ve tasted like a buttery cloud, but felt like chewing cardboard.
‘Congratulations, mate,’ Matt said to Alex.
Where were all these ‘mate’s coming from?
I could see the recognition on Matt’s face as he realised that this wasn’t the first time I’d run into Alex.
He gave me a sideways look. I could see him replay the previous night in his mind, with the overlay of this new information.
I picked up another piece of croissant.
‘If you’re new to town, we’ll have to show you around. Do you know anyone here?’ Matt asked. I scanned his voice for any traces of wariness or annoyance. But no, he sounded like his usual friendly, upbeat self.
‘Not really,’ he said. ‘I grew up in Adelaide, so I know a few friends of friends who have moved here. But no one close.’
‘I’m in Sydney for work a lot – I know what it’s like to be at a loose end in a city,’ Matt said with a warm smile. ‘I’m going to the tennis with a few mates this afternoon if you want to come along?’
‘If you’re sure, that’d be great,’ Alex replied without hesitation.
My stomach dropped. It didn’t surprise me that Matt had made the offer – he was the guy who was chair of our street’s Christmas party and led his company’s social committee. But I hadn’t expected Alex to accept the invitation.
‘You want to watch sport?’ I asked incredulously. Unlike Matt, who’d yet to find a sport he wasn’t happy to tune in to, Alex thought that exercise was for doing and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to sit still and watch other people doing it.
‘Yeah, I do,’ he said. ‘Thanks, Matt.’
Matt offered him the plate of pastries and Alex selected a cinnamon swirl with a smile.
What was happening? I’d thought introducing Alex to Matt was the right thing to do.
If I was going to be spending time with my ex-boyfriend, it made sense that my fiancé had the full picture.
But the purpose of the exercise was to reassure Matt that there were clear boundaries in place.
This breakfast was meant to restore my temporarily displaced sanity and contain Alex – not You, Me and Dupree him.