Chapter 20 Meeting Carry On Tour #9
“WHOAH!” Billy made a motion with both hands flying away from his head and his hands flying open. “That’s mind blowing. You pictured Carry?”
“Who pictured me?” Carry called as she approached.
“Greg did,” Billy said, as he turned, his face going ashen. “He was just telling me,,,” he was starting to say then just left his mouth open. “Something private.”
“Something private?” Carry said with deep confusion. “Billy! What aren’t you saying?"
“Something I’ve asked him to keep to himself,” Greg interrupted as he stood up.
He walked over to her and took both of her hands.
“We need to talk,” he said very seriously.
“Thanks Billy. Go get your guitar and show this D.C. audience what we all see,” he paused as Billy looked at him somewhat worried.
“An extremely talented young man with a brilliant future. Knock them dead, kid.”
“Thanks, Greg. I appreciate the vote of confidence. I better go or I’ll be late,” he said as he spun and nearly sprinted away down the hall.
“What was that all about?” Carry asked and saw that Greg was thinking about how to answer her. “GREG! What’s going on? Why are you asking Billy to keep something from me?”
“Because I nearly screwed up again, Carry,” Greg finally admitted. “Please sit down with me,” he said with a motion to the two chairs in the dark corner. “Please. I have to tell you everything.”
“You’ve got me worried now, Greg,” she said as she slowly moved with him to the chairs. “Tell me that you are going to be totally honest with me.”
“I am. In fact, Billy is the reason I am going to be able to be honest with you.” She was completely confused as she sat down, bracing herself for the worst possible news.
“My mind was a jumbled mess, and Billy listened long enough for me to start sorting it out.” Greg let out a long exasperated sigh.
“My mind hasn’t functioned right since that poisoning.
It’s not clear or sharp like it was before.
It’s becoming a struggle to keep things straight in my head. ”
“Are you alright?” Carry asked with deep concern now.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” he said then sighed again. “I thought I was until I got here and saw you in the elevator. I was so shocked and I know that I reacted with you. What I don’t know is if that was because I love you, or it was just instinct.”
“WOW! Just instinct Greg?!” she said, clearly stung. “I’m just some bimbo in your life now?”
“NO!” He slapped his own face with both hands in frustration.
“God! I’m screwing this whole thing up because I can’t even communicate the turmoil within me.
” This struck Carry and she suddenly realized that Greg was truly concerned about this.
She reached over and placed her right hand on his left knee in an assuring manner.
“Carry, I know that I love both Veronica and you. What I don’t know is if I was choosing to return your affections, or if it was just a natural reaction from all of our history together. ”
“Do you want her and not me?” she asked nervously.
“I,,,” he began then put his face in his hands again.
“I love you, and I don’t want to hurt you again like I did at Pimico.
My hearts in two pieces right now. You have one and Veronica has the other.
I don’t know which one I want to hold the whole thing.
” He just shook his head. “I think we should just start back at the beginning.”
She sat there stunned for a moment without answering. “We can do that,” she answered slowly. “But you have to tell me what you’ve not told me yet. I can see the guilt on your face.”
“I had dinner with Veronica,” he started and saw her visibly shift back from him. “We had a meal with Aunt Janet. Food, wine, conversation and a dance,” he was continuing when he saw her arms firmly cross in front of her chest. “Please, Carry. Don’t judge me right now. I really don’t need that.”
“Really?!” she insisted. “You asked to meet me in private and you go and wine and dine my competition for your heart?” she said with near disgust. “Am I the consolation prize if things don’t work out with her?!” she demanded with a bit of fire in her voice.
“This is exactly what I feared,” he said as he stood up and started to walk around to the back of his chair.
“I can’t get this out to you in a way you can understand what’s going on within me.
” He threw his hands up in frustration. “Maybe we’re all wrong for each other,” he said with confusion in his voice.
“Maybe we had our chance and missed it.” He turned and walked about ten feet away.
Carry sat up, dropping her arms as the words started sinking in.
“Are you having doubts about us, or me?” she asked with concern.
“ME!” he yelled in frustration. “I’m doubting myself.” He spun back around then walked over to her slowly. “Carry, I was never good enough for Erica. I look at you and Veronica and I see that same unqualified man. I’m not good enough for either of you.”
“Greg,” she said softly as she stood up and walked around the chairs to him.
She took him in her arms then kissed him softly.
Greg slowly wrapped his arms around her.
She looked deep into his eyes. “You are the most deserving man in my life. No man is better than you. You are good enough.” She kissed him again, soft and slow.
Greg pulled her tight and pushed the kiss back, making it deep.
“Now, that’s the kind of reaction I want. ”
“I don’t want it to be just a reaction,” Greg said somberly.
“I want it to be a decision,” he paused.
“My choice, not just a physical reaction.” He dropped his head and released her, giving her a sense of trepidation.
“If it was purely about the physical reaction, I would have slept with Veronica tonight.” SLAP!
“GREG GARRELSON!” she screamed at him in anger and fear. He stood there, silent. No reaction. Not even opening his eyes. She brought her hands up to her mouth. “OMG! What’d I just do?”
“Exactly what a woman in love would do if she felt threatened or betrayed,” he admitted. “I had that coming and I knew it.”
“No Greg, you didn’t. I should have given you a chance to explain,” she started as tears began to well up in her eyes.
“Carry,” he said gently, pulling her to him again, holding her tight.
“I deserved that. I can’t stop you from feeling like that.
I’d have felt like you didn’t care if you hadn’t hit me.
” He kissed her forehead softly. “Just wish you went a little lighter.” That got a soft laugh from Carry. “There now.”
“Just a little lighter, huh?” she said looking at him. “I’m sorry, Greg.” She kissed him softly. “I’m just scared that you are going to choose her because I walked away from Pimico and you.”
“Well, you know the truth of it now, and you are still here,” he observed. “That tells me that you still want this.”