Chapter 27 Wedding Bells? #3
Everyone had made their way out of the room, with Carry driving Veronica in her wheelchair.
Billy watched them heading down the hall, waving as they left.
He turned and could see Greg trying to shift himself in the bed.
He shook his head then tipped his Stetson back.
“Greg, do you need a hand getting into position?”
“No, Billy. I need to work these muscles here, because I’ll be working them at home when we get released.” Billy closed the door then slowly approached. “I know you know this isn’t just about that sermon.”
“Yeah, Rabbi Steve went quite in depth as to why Jacob’s real wife was Leah instead of Rachel, even though he loved Rachel and worked fourteen years for her.”
“It still leaves me with some questions, that I do want to ask you about, but we have another subject to discuss.”
“Carry?” Billy asked point blank.
“Yes, Billy. Carry.” Greg held his left hand up to stop Billy before he could start.
“Billy, I want you to understand something here and now. I love both of these incredible women, and I’m still trying to figure out which one holds the key to my heart.
” He paused and took a deep breath. “But Carry said something today that cut me like a knife.”
“She did?” Billy said with surprise. “What could she have said that would do that to you?”
“She said she thinks you’ve been holding back,” he started then brought his steel blue eyes out like laser beams onto Billy’s dark brown eyes.
“YOU NEED TO STOP. I know you feel unworthy of her, but Billy,” Greg dropped his gaze and let out a sigh of frustration.
“You are a wonderful man. I’ve got nothing against you.
And IF Carry were to choose you,” he paused and looked up at Billy again.
“That’s when I would walk away. I’m not walking away until she decides that I’m not the one she wants to spend her life with.
And to be honest, I am worried that she’s leaning your way. ”
“You think she’s leaning my way?” Billy said slowly, trying to put it together. “What makes you think that?”
“It’s the way she relaxes around you. She drops her guard completely with you. I never had that with her, but that doesn’t stop me from loving her anyway.”
“So, what are you saying?” Billy asked, still confused.
“I’m competitive Billy, but if you aren’t going to put everything you have into winning Carry, then if she chooses me, you’ll be the ghost in our relationship and it would be doomed to failure.
” He shook his head. “I know this sounds totally counterintuitive, but Veronica said the same thing about Carry and I. Now I understand what she’s been saying.
THIS has to be resolved, and if you don’t put everything you have into trying to win Carry, it’s a disservice to all of us.
You’ll end up hurting the very people you are trying to protect.
Trust me, Billy. It’s a devastatingly hard lesson to learn. ”
“You really want me to date Carry openly?”
“Not just date, Billy. Evaluate and determine if she fits you like the wife you are seeking. I got that from Rabbi Steve today. If Jacob had paid attention, the wife he needed was Leah who became a true believer in Adonai, whereas Rachel hid Laban’s idols by sitting on them.
She wasn’t embracing Jacob’s faith the way Leah did.
We’ve talked several times about relationships, and I want to share this with you, Billy.
IF I lose Carry, I want it to be to someone like you with integrity and faith, not someone who would just use her.
She’s very precious and I have made my mistakes.
So has Carry. I honestly don’t know if we can make it back together, but I know this, I won’t give up trying unless she tells me to.
I don’t want you to give up either. I can see that she loves you too, and I won’t risk her hurting over the memory of what could have been if you don’t show her now what can be between the two of you.
It’d hurt her more than I could ever stand, and that would break me worse than when Erica left me that last time. ”
Billy stroked his chin slowly for a moment then tipped his Stetson back on his head as he pulled up the chair and sat down beside him.
“I really don’t know what to make of all this, Greg.
I mean, you are encouraging me to pursue the woman you love.
It feels too much like betrayal.” He dropped his head.
“Billy, lift your head and look at me for a moment.” As Billy lifted up Greg was shifting and twinged himself in the ribs bringing a look of pain to his face.
“Oohf. That wasn’t the best move,” Greg said as he pushed up higher.
“You are a worthy opponent, and worthy of her love. If you don’t do this, you will hurt me and even worse, you will also hurt her, and then I’ll have to get mad at you for hurting Carry. ”
“Are you sure I’m not betraying you by pursuing Carry? I mean we faked it for K1, but I’ve got to be honest,” he shook his head softly. “I love her. I’ve been in love with her for a long time. I never wanted to admit that.”
“It’s about time you do, son.” Greg set his left hand on Billy’s right knee.
“I need you to be honest with her so she can be honest with me and,” he took a breath.
For a moment he sat still, not saying anything, which made Billy lift his head and look at Greg, waiting for him to say something, but Greg was silent as if the words he wanted to say wouldn’t come out.
There was almost a full minute of complete silence. “And what Greg?” Billy finally insisted.
“And she can finally be honest with herself.” He sighed.
“Billy, that young woman has been through the grinder. She’s suffered loss like no other woman I’ve ever known, and she’s come through it tougher, and softer.
She deserves some happiness. Maybe she’s going to find that in you, because I’m wondering now, if maybe I’ve been pursuing Rachel when Leah’s been right there in front of me the entire time,,” he started to mumble.
“GREG? Are you okay?” Billy asked with concern.
“Billy, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he answered cautiously.
“If you could marry Carry today, would you?”
“If she chose me?” he asked.
“I’m asking about your heart now, not hers. I want to know how you truly feel about that incredible gorgeous woman you’ve been around for months now. If you could marry her right now the way Mark and Tina got married, would you?”
“I don’t,,,,” Billy began then felt a hard gaze from Greg. He leaned back and tilted his Stetson back before lifting it off his head. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Because, your answer might help me solve my own dilemma.”
“What do you mean. How would my answer help solve your dilemma?”
“Billy, how much do you love Carry?”
“I’d die for her if necessary.”
“But,” he paused then patted Billy’s knee again. “Billy, would you live for her?”
“Live for her?” he asked, puzzled.
“Yes, Billy. Live for her. Dying for anyone is much easier than living for them. Would you live for Carry as if she was your whole world the way Tina is Mark’s whole world?”
“I think I would,” he began then looked at Greg. “Are you asking me to propose to her?”
“Would you do that right now if you could?”
“Greg, that’s a big ask. I don’t even know what Carry’s thinking or feeling.”
“And neither does she. She needs to know what you are willing to risk and do for her. That’s how we’ll both find out where we stand.”
“So, you want me to propose?” Billy asked slowly.
“I want to know if you are willing to make that kind of commitment.”
“Then, I guess I would say, If my life was more stable, I’d want her as my wife.”
“That’s what she needs to know, Billy. And that is what I need you to tell her. Let her know where she stands with you so she can make the choice from her heart. And if she chooses like I think she will, I’ll know what my heart has been telling me while I’ve been recovering.”
“So, when should I tell her?”
“Now is as good of a time as any Billy.” He looked him in the eye. “And know this, if you need stability financially, I’ve got your back. But I need to know where things are in her heart so I can resolve the dilemma in mine.”
“Are you sure about this, Greg?” Billy sat there for a moment. “Hold on, did you say you were chasing Rachel when Leah was right in front of you the whole time?”
“I did, Billy. And if you are understanding that, then you see why you need to ask.”
“I see where you are going with this now,” he said and stroked his chin. “I’ll go find her and we’ll talk about this. You’re right that I’d hurt her by staying quiet.”