Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Josiah stood on the porch of the hotel and watched Edwin walk off in a huff. After telling him in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be speaking to Violet, the man had ranted loud enough for half the town to hear it before he finally left.
As unpleasant as the exchange had been, he was glad for the distraction. Had the man not interrupted him and Violet in the tub, he had no doubt Violet would be flat on her back right now with her feet on his shoulders while he pounded her into the flimsy mattress on the tiny bed in their room.
He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his face. The evening had taken such a massive turn he wasn’t sure where to even begin sorting it all out.
His main thought while heading into town had been to find that preacher and begin the process of getting his fake marriage sorted but now that he’d had his little wife in his arms, his fingers inside the wet warmth of her body and tasted her eager kisses, he felt drugged and ready to run upstairs and finish what he’d started.
He found a bench next to the wall and sat down.
He was still barefoot, his shirt only halfway buttoned, and he knew he looked a sight.
The townsfolk still out and about this time of night were giving him odd looks, but he didn’t care.
He’d never see them again after today, so what difference did it make what complete strangers thought of him?
Edwin stormed onto the sidewalk in front of his mercantile and looked back at him, the scowl on his face visible even from the distance they were from one another.
He wasn’t sure when the man would let go of his insistence that Violet was supposed to be his wife.
If them getting married hadn’t done it, he wasn’t sure what would.
Why the man was so adamant about it being Violet he married was a better question.
Why wouldn’t he let it go? Sure, Violet was beautiful, but Edwin hadn’t known that before he arrived in Silver Falls.
He’d known her as a child, so he knew the man wasn’t in love with her, so why was he so determined to marry her, despite the fact she had a husband now?
Why not pick someone else? There were probably several dozen single ladies in this town. Why not one of them?
Something didn’t add up about any of this, but he didn’t have the will to care at the moment.
He had to go back upstairs, to the small room his wife was waiting in, and he wasn’t sure what he’d find when he did.
Would she be ready to finish what they’d started or would he get lucky and she’d fallen asleep and settled the matter for him because despite not wanting to make the situation any harder than it was, that small taste he had of her wasn’t enough.
He wanted more. He wanted more of her sighs and his name whispered in the dark.
He wanted her underneath him, on top of him.
He wanted to drown in the feel of her skin against his own.
He wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking he wasn’t attracted to her. He always had been. It was hard not to be. She was beautiful, with luscious auburn hair that made him want to feel it between his fingers and against his flesh.
He wanted her mouth on him, her hands in his hair and he wanted to keep Edwin as far from her as he could keep him, and it wasn’t just because he promised to help her.
No, it was because he didn’t want another man close to her.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever want to see another man calling her his, which made this entire situation insane. He didn’t want a wife. Ever.
Regardless of how beautiful Violet was, he couldn’t keep her and bedding her would send the entirely wrong message. He had to put a stop to all this before it started.
Sighing, he stood and headed back upstairs, taking the steps slowly, his bare feet making the weathered boards creak under his weight.
He stood outside his door when he reached it, listening.
The only thing he heard were voices from downstairs and the rope-springs of one of the beds in another room squeaking.
He turned the knob and let himself in, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the lamp extinguished. Moonlight filtered into the room, giving him a glimpse of her already nestled underneath the blankets in bed.
The hinges creaked when he pushed the door shut and he looked over his shoulder to see if he’d woken her with the noise. She hadn’t moved.
Her wet skirt and blouse were draped over the chairs to dry, the towels still laying on the floor soaking up the water they’d sloshed over the side of the tub.
He headed for the bed, stepping lightly to minimize the noise the floorboards made as he crossed the room and slid his shirt off before wiping his feet on the rug and crawling under the blankets in his pants. Violet shifted the moment he settled. She wasn’t asleep.
“What did he want?” Her voice sounded sleepy and way too sultry in the dim moon-washed room. Her eyelids looked drowsy, so perhaps she had been asleep.
He blew out a breath, folded his arms underneath his head, and stared up at the ceiling. “He wanted to talk to you. Once he realized that wasn’t going to happen, he stomped off back to his mercantile.”
“You were gone a while. I wasn’t sure if you were coming back. Did you go check on Archie?”
“No. But I should have.” It hadn’t even occurred to him, to be honest. He’d been too concerned about the woman beside him to think of much else. “I needed time to cool off.”
“Oh.”
Long minutes passed, and he thought she’d gone back to sleep, but the moment she touched him, her slim fingers brushing against his bare abdomen before heading straight to the waistband of his pants, he grabbed her hand. “What are you doing, Violet?”
“Touching you.” She tried moving her hand again, but he didn’t let it go. She sighed and stilled.
As much as he wanted her to touch him, he couldn’t lead her on. He dragged her hand up to lay on his chest to keep it from dangerous territory.
“We’re married, Josiah. There’s nothing wrong with any of this.”
No, there wasn’t. Nothing other than her wellbeing was in jeopardy just being with him.
“Why are you so against a relationship, Josiah? Is it me?”
“No.” He answered immediately. “Any man would be lucky to have you as a wife.”
“Anyone but you, you mean.”
He blew out a breath and turned on the bed to face her. “You don’t really want to be married to me, Violet.”
“And if I do?”
Her voice was barely over a whisper and he could hear every vulnerability she had in those softly spoken words. The conversation he’d had with Ewan came back to him in an instant and the old man telling him Violet had been sweet on him since the day he rode into Silver Falls ringing the loudest.
He’d wondered about her feelings for him on several occasions. Every time he saw her spying on him around town, his lonely heart would whisper the words, but he’d always pushed them away as wishful thinking but knowing it for a fact still hadn’t changed anything.
He let out another sigh and tucked her hand under his chin. “I was engaged to be married once.”
Her eyes widened a fraction. “You were”
He nodded.
“What happened?”
“She died.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
Memories he tried to forget most days came back in an instant.
He could still see the smoke from the gun, hear the screams. He shook the images away and met Violet’s gaze.
“Being a lawman has disadvantages. You’re always making enemies of the wrong kind of people and when I lived in Durango, I made more than any one man needed.
“That’s where I met Ruth. She was sweet and kind and went out of her way to help people, even those she should have steered clear of.”
He blew out a breath and cleared his throat.
“A man I’d arrested for bank robbery didn’t take too kindly to me killing his brother, so when he was released, he got his revenge.
He took Ruth and when I found them, he made sure I knew every vile and foul thing he’d done to her, then he killed her right in front of me and laughed as he jumped on his horse and rode away. ”
He put the memories back where he kept them inside his head and inhaled a cleansing breath.
“Not being with you has nothing to do with you, Violet, and everything to do with me. It’s too dangerous.
I know you’ll make some man very happy one day, but it can’t be me.
I can’t put your life at risk like that. I won’t.”
So that’s why he was so reluctant?
Violet wanted to tell him it was a silly reason that people died all the time. Heck, her parents, oldest sister, and half the town of Silver Falls died of what amounted to a cold that turned into something worse.
There hadn’t been a doctor in Silver Falls back then and there wasn’t anything anyone could do.
But she didn’t say as much. Josiah was allowed to feel any way he wanted to about what had happened to Ruth and she knew nothing she said would change his mind, so she just gave him a tiny smile and said, “Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re welcome, but the look on your face tells me you don’t agree with my reasonings.”
She opened her mouth to say she didn’t, but he interrupted her by saying, “What happened earlier was a mistake.”
The pain those words caused stole her breath.
“It should have never happened,” he said. “I’m sorry it did. It gave the wrong impression and for that, I’m sorry. I never meant to lead you on like that Violet. I just got carried away in the moment.”
They stared at one another for long minutes before he finally said, “It’s been a long day. Get some sleep,” and closed his eyes.
She watched him for a long while and knew the moment he drifted off to sleep. His breathing changed and the tightness in his shoulders eased.