12. Gabby
After dinner, Heath does some magic and the next thing I know, the garage door is sliding up and down like it’s brand new. “Thank you,” I say, as I drag in a trash can. Heath has the other one, bringing it in right behind me.
“My pleasure,” he says, scooting his can close to mine. “Now you don’t have to worry about anything getting into your trash.”
He looks so handsome standing there in the George Strait t-shirt he got that summer at a country music festival we went to. Why’d he have to wear something that would bring back so many memories? “Do you remember that summer?” I ask, my mouth moving before my brain has caught up.
“All the time,” Heath says softly. “I remember every moment of that summer with you.”
I nod. “Me too.”
“Gabby,” he says, his voice strained. “I want that again.”
I suck in a breath. My chest feels like my heart is trying to escape. “But, last time . . . you changed your mind. I don’t want to open myself up to that again. I’m scared.”
“I know,” he says, stepping close and pulling me in for a hug. “I was a kid. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you out of our deal. I was dumb. Ever since then, I’ve held onto hope. I know it’s been a long time, but I hope we can be close again someday.” The smell of the aftershave I got him for his birthday fills my nose, bringing those memories closer to the surface. “That’s why I want to get to know you again. Take this slowly. I want to prove to you that I’m worth taking the risk.”
My head falls to his chest. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“I’ll always put you first.”
But he didn’t. That thought has me stepping out of his arms. “Thank you for fixing the door,” I say, wrapping my arms around my middle.
He must sense the change in me because he nods and grabs his tools. “You’re welcome. I should get back home. See if Mom made it home from her support group yet.”
I nod and watch him walk to his truck and slide inside. For a moment I let myself remember, let myself feel. I only hope that doesn’t come back to bite me.
Lacey and I agree to meet for lunch at a nearby barbecue restaurant, and I am glad Knox is off and can keep Matti so Lacey can come alone. I’ve been so conflicted since Heath came and fixed the door. I could use some time with my bestie to take my mind off of it all.
After we place our order, we find a booth in the back of the small dining area and slide in.
“I’m so glad you agreed to come to lunch,” Lacey says. “It’s almost like you’ve been avoiding me.”
I roll my eyes. “Why on earth would I avoid you? You’re my best friend, silly.”
“Maybe because you’ve been spending more time with a certain someone,” she says. “Having a boyfriend takes up more of your free time.” She would know. Since she and Knox got together, and the build-out for the center has been underway she’s been busier than ever.
I sigh. “I see the rumor mill has been working overtime lately.”
She leans forward and shrugs her shoulders. “I think everyone is waiting for you and Heath to stop pretending like you’re just friends.”
I scoff. “Seriously? We are just friends.” Even if these last few weeks of texting back and forth have been making me want more. Making me wish for things that have long since passed.
“Yep,” she says, sitting back for the waiter to place our food on the table. “You keep telling yourself that.”
I try to contain the blush that I can feel racing across my cheeks, and fail. “Whatever. This food looks delicious.” I grab my fork and knife and dig into the brisket with more force than necessary. It’s a good thing she’s my best friend, or I’d leave right now. Okay, so running away from my problems isn’t mature, but it beats getting hurt. An ache takes up residence in my stomach, and a little voice niggles in my head. Why are you still hurting even with Heath locked in the friend zone?
Nope. Not going there.
“I’m not going to ask you about Heath anymore. I know there’s more to the story than what you’ve told me so far. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so guarded,” Lacey says after a few minutes of awkward silence.
I open my mouth to argue.
“I just want you to know that I’m here for you, and when you’re ready to share, I’m ready to listen,” Lacey says, holding her hand up to stop me. She glances at her sticky fingertips and draws each of them into her mouth, sucking off the lingering sauce.
I search my mind for something to say, but come up short. “Okay,” I finally say with a nod.
The rest of the lunch is filled with talk about the progress with the center, and while I couldn’t be happier for my friend, I can’t get my mind off of Heath.
The next day, the diner is slow and Ms. Daisy has me in her office going over purchase orders. “Are you sure I can handle this?” I ask, taking in all of the paperwork in front of me.
“Of course you can.” Ms. Daisy pats my hand. “You’ve worked here for years. I’d venture to say if anyone knows this place as well as I do, it would be you.”
I nod. “But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to take over the management tasks.” I point to the inventory sheet. “That I’ve done, but this . . .” I say waving my hand at the computer and the program Ms. Daisy uses to do each week’s ordering. “What if I mess up and order too much, or too little?”
Ms. Daisy laughs. “Girl, you know as well as I do that if you have too much, you put it on special. Too little, you just tell them it was our most popular dish and they’ll need to come in earlier next week.” She winks. “Seriously, Gabby. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think you could do it.”
I summon all my courage and smile. “I know. Thank you.”
“Now, let’s see what we need.”
An hour later, I think I finally understand how to place the weekly order. If only I felt confident that I wouldn’t mess it up and cost the diner—and Ms. Daisy—money, I’d feel better. Money was always tight for me and Gram. She hadn’t expected to have to raise her granddaughter in her retirement years, but we managed. I struggle to hold back the tears that burn the backs of my eyelids. You can cry later, Gabby. Right now, you have work to do.
“You are welcome to go home for the day,” Ms. Daisy says. “I don’t think we’re going to get a rush until this evening, and I’ve got that covered.”
“You sure?” I ask.
Ms. Daisy nods. “Yes, ma’am. Go on, get out of here and do something fun while the weather is still warm enough.” She winks and shoos me out of the office.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, grabbing my things and making a quick getaway.
As I walk to the car, I’m hit with a sudden longing to go to the lakeshore. There’s a spot I haven’t been to since that summer when I was last there with Heath. I look up at the gray sky and decide to go now. What’s a Monday afternoon off if I don’t do something for myself?
An hour later, I’m parked in the lot that leads to the sandy beach of the lake. I slide my sandals off, tossing them onto the floorboard. “Just a walk along the shore,” I say out loud to myself, grabbing my towel and shutting the Jeep door.
As my feet hit the warm sand, I sigh. I let the rough, wet sand slide between my toes, grounding me in a way that I only feel here. Setting off near the lapping water, I am careful not to get too wet. I didn’t bring my suit, I just wanted to think.
My mind takes me back to the last time I was here with Heath. We laughed and kicked up the water like a couple of kids. I guess we were kids. I smile at the memory. Both of us, covered in sand and water, laughing and splashing without a care in the world.
I miss that version of myself. The one that thought true love might actually exist. That not everyone you love hurts you. I knew Heath would be leaving for the Army, but it was only a few years. I could do anything for the man I loved. Or so I thought.
I wonder again what would have happened if I’d accepted the truth about Olivia back then. Could I have accepted our new “just friends” status as well? Would it have bothered me that he was playing house with her while those around him thought he’d cheated on me?
Stopping to look out over the water and watch the birds swooping and diving after their meals, I realize that, yes, it would have bothered me, but if he had shared it with me and kept our promise, I would have understood. I felt betrayed because his promise to me meant nothing to him. We said forever, and he said nine months was enough. He decided. I didn’t get a say.
He’d hurt me, and while I can forgive him—even understand it to a point. I just can’t risk opening my heart again. And I’m okay being alone. Gram was alone after Pops died when I was a baby. She was happy. Wasn’t she?
I move back to a soft, dry part of the shore and put out my towel, then drop down to take a seat and stretch out my legs. I should have come here sooner. I forgot how much I love sitting and listening to the lake sounds. Boats out on the water, their engines whirring, birds calling to each other, an occasional frog croaking, people laughing and enjoying themselves. It’s peaceful today since it’s during the week, allowing my thoughts the quiet they need to wander.
“Gabby?”
Startled at the sound of my name, I let out a yelp.
“Sorry!” Heath says, holding up his hands. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Heath. Is here. At the lake.
“It’s okay,” I say, my hand over my racing heart. “I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone anymore.”
Heath nods. “I see that.” He points to the ground beside me. “Mind if I sit?”
Do I?“Of course not,” I say.
He takes his time, settling down onto the sand near enough I can smell his cologne. I close my eyes.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he says, placing his arms around his knees.
“I came on a whim. The diner was slow today, so I was off early.” I don’t mention it’s my first time back in years. That would be too weird.
“I’ve missed this place,” he says after a few moments of silence.
“Me too,” I say. “I don’t have much time to get out here.” There, that explains why I would miss it, right?
He nods and looks back out at the water. “Kentucky was a beautiful place to be stationed, but there’s nothing quite like home, you know?”
“Not really,” I say, truthfully. “I haven’t really gone anywhere to be able to compare.”
He glances at me. “Really? You haven’t traveled at all in the last few years?”
“Nope,” I say.
“What happened? You always wanted to go see the jungle and climb volcanoes.”
“I didn’t feel like it. After Gram died, I had the house to take care of, which took time and money. Then I had some things happen that took the wind out of me.“ I look at him and he gives me a tight-lipped nod to show he understands. “So, I decided to stay where I know how life is supposed to work.”
We both stare out at the water. The silence should feel awkward, but it feels . . . nice.
“What about you? What brings you out here today?”
He looks out over the water and takes a deep breath. “I took the day off to do some things around the house for Mom. I finished earlier than I expected and had the urge to come out here. It’s one of my favorite spots.”
I smile. “Mine too.”
“Do you think we could ever get back there? To the carefree teenagers in love?”
The vulnerability in his gaze pops the stitches on my newly mended heart. “I don’t think so,” I whisper. “Times have changed. We’ve changed. I don’t think I’d want to go back to those naive kids, even if we could.”
“I still love you,” he says softly, taking my hand in his.
Tears fill my eyes. “I’ve got to go.” I pull my hand from his and start the trek back to the car. The tears that I’ve been holding back start to fall when I catch sight of the Jeep. On the windshield, under my wiper, is a bunch of wildflowers.
He always knew how to reach my heart.