Chapter 14
Chase
The light was killing me. Like, literally killing me.
I had no idea why there was so much of it.
My blinds should have been down, making it pitch black in my room.
My head hurt too much for me to fix the problem.
So, I continued to lie there, with my eyes closed and the light hurting me through my closed lids.
Then I realized I wasn’t in my bed, but on a couch. Rubbing my eyes helped the pain enough I could open them slightly. When I did, it all came back to me.
Motherfucker.
What did I do?
As I sat up, everything inside my head sloshed around, and I felt as though an axe had split it in two.
I cradled it in my hands and rubbed my eyes, hoping to get some relief.
That was when I noticed the two pills and a glass of water on the table in front of me.
I gulped them both and leaned back to allow them some time to work.
Maryellen was sound asleep in her bed. From where I sat, I could see her long blonde hair against her pillow, the outline of her hip under her quilt, and her foot hanging out from the bottom of her blankets. Her breathing was calm and rhythmic.
Thinking back to last night made me feel like a total asshole.
In my head, it seemed like a good idea to wait for her to get home.
I had the idea she would walk down her hall, see me waiting for her, and fall into my arms. No chance did I think the douchebag would walk her to her door.
Did he think he was staying over? They barely knew each other.
The right thing to do was for me to put my shoes and coat on and walk out the door. She’s made her intentions clear.
Instead, I walked to her bedside.
Her journal was on her night table, open. It didn’t seem like a journal entry, but rather an outline for a story. Not wanting to invade her privacy, I closed it before climbing into her bed behind her.
As I wrapped my arm around her middle, she wiggled her bottom against my front and moaned quietly in her sleep. I slipped my hand gently under her tank top, flattening it against the warm skin of her stomach. My entire body relaxed as I held her and drifted off to sleep…
“Chase…”
I heard it, but it was muffled like I was underwater. It wasn’t until I felt her hand on my arm that I really started stirring from my sleep. My eyes seemed glued shut as I attempted to open them for the second time today, but as I did, I was met with the bluest eyes staring down upon me.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Chase.”
Her tone was appropriate considering what I did last night. I sat up against the headboard, ready to plead my case and apologize out my ass.
“Are you feeling OK?” she asked.
She pulled herself up against the bed as well, her hands folded on bent knees, as she looked my way.
“Um, yeah, I mean I have a headache, but that’s all. The Tylenol helped. Thank you, by the way.”
She nodded but remained quiet. I was having a hard time reading the room.
“I’m sorry, Mare. Last night was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have been here waiting for you, especially drunk. It wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”
Again, she was quiet. She turned toward me in the bed, her eyes laser focused on me.
“You should be sorry. You were an ass last night. And you were way too drunk, like scary drunk. I didn’t like that, either.” She shoved my shoulder. “Do you know that I was up most of the night making sure you were gonna be OK?”
Huh, that was interesting. I couldn’t hide my smile.
“What?” she said, shoving my shoulder again.
“Nothing.” I laughed. “Only I don’t get why you would worry about me since you were enraged by my behavior.”
“Christ, Chase, I wasn’t about to let you choke on your own vomit, even if I was pissed at you. What kind of person do you think I am?”
She started getting out of bed on her side, but I stopped her. Holding her arm, I pulled her to her side and kept her with me, face to face.
“I know what kind of person you are,” I told her. “You’re the kind of person worth fighting for, I keep telling you that. Which was the reason I came here last night. It just didn’t go as planned.”
I stroked the tender skin of her cheek with my thumb as her eyes fluttered closed.
But as quickly as they did, they flew open and were full of anger.
She flew out of bed and lurched onto the couch, away from me.
I sat there, unsure of what my next move should be, as the silence between us lingered.
Eventually, I got up the nerve to join her.
I made sure to sit on the other end of the sofa, nowhere close to her.
She broke the silence.
“Ya wanna know the crazy thing about last night?” she started. “The date went great. Like, he’s the perfect guy for me.”
My heart stopped and I groaned at her words, but it didn’t stop her.
“Sorry, but he is. Obviously the biggest positive being we don’t work together.
But all night, even as we were having a great time together, you kept popping into my brain.
” She refused to look at me. “It was kind of annoying, to be honest. I mean, he’d be talking to me and instead of listening to him, I’d be comparing what he was saying to what I thought you’d say.
Or…I was wondering where you were last night. ”
I laughed out loud at her last comment.
“I think we know now where I was, getting shit-faced.”
She rolled her eyes at me and rubbed her forehead in frustration.
“Well, yeah, but…were you alone?” Her question wasn’t only one of accusation. I heard the hurt in them. But we were both hurting.
“You weren’t, so why would it matter if I was or wasn’t?” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them.
She jumped from the couch, stomped to the bathroom, and slammed the door.
I walked to the small kitchen and poured myself a glass of water to get rid of my nasty dry mouth.
How was I going to fix this? My fucking big mouth made things even worse.
While leaning against the sink, I noticed a small vase of flowers on the windowsill. I was staring at them when the bathroom door opened, and she walked into the room next to me.
“What are you looking at?” she asked.
I gestured to the windowsill. “I’m assuming Garrett brought you those?”
She reached behind me to get herself a glass of water, pushing me out of the way.
“Yes, he did. I think it was sweet. Not everyone has Parker money, Chase.”
Ouch.
The temperature in the apartment seemed to be getting chillier by the comment.
“Why am I here, Maryellen?”
She spun around and leaned against the small kitchen counter, her arms across her chest.
“I don’t know, Chase. Why are you here? You’re the one who showed up unannounced and uninvited.”
The apartment was tiny, there was no denying that.
But it was all Maryellen. As I walked away from her back toward the sitting area, I was still only about fifteen feet from her.
She had a couch, chair, coffee table, eating table, bed, and nightstand artfully arranged in the space so it didn’t feel overwhelming.
I would call it chic modern, but what did I know.
But trying to get away from someone when they’re angry at you was impossible, unless you literally went into the bathroom and closed the door. As she had already done.
“I know why I came here. I told you already—”
“Yeah, I know, but why did you feel the need to fight for me after the first guy I’ve met…since you?” She tossed her glass into the sink so hard I thought it might break. “I mean, seriously, Chase, why now? Did me going out with someone else spur you into a jealous rage?”
I felt seen, and not in a good way.
That wasn’t the only reason, so I needed to tread carefully.
My steps were measured and slow as I approached her to ensure she would be OK with me coming close again. She wouldn’t look at me, but she didn’t move. Once I was standing in front of her, I took her hand in mine.
“Hey,” I said. With my other hand, I gently gripped her chin, encouraging her to make eye contact with me.
Once she did, I continued. “I may not be going about this the right way. What I do know is you are who I wanted to be with last night, no one else but you. And you didn’t kick me out.
You let me stay the night. That has to mean something.
That’s what I mean, Mare, when I ask why I’m here. ”
She shook her head to get out of my grasp.
“So, because I’m a good person and didn’t send your sorry drunk ass home, I’m the bad guy?
” She spun from my hold, her anger escalating.
“Did you make the decision I was who you wanted to be with before or after you took someone else home?” There was venom in her voice.
At the same time, there were tears in her eyes.
“You’re not known for making the best decisions when you’re drunk, Chase. ”
Without her to touch or hold, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I shoved them into my jeans pockets as the walls of this tiny place closed in on me.
“You can’t even look at me now, can you?” she asked.
She was right, I couldn’t. My brain was telling me to be honest about last night. But we weren’t together, so my heart was yelling at me not to tell her. It would start an unnecessary fight.
She didn’t give me time to decide.
“You’ve answered my question with your silence,” she said as she walked away and got in her bed. Her words cut me. They were full of sadness and disappointment.
Classic Chase. I knew that was what she was thinking.
She was on her side, curled up under a quilt, looking like she wanted to disappear. I climbed in behind her, but gave her the space I knew she wanted.
“Mare,” I said. She didn’t move, so I went on. “I think there’s more to you not kicking me out last night.”
She spun around, ready to say something. To yell something.
“Let me finish,” I said.
The frosty look she sent my way was almost enough to shut me up. When she looked away, I took my chance and kept going.
“I’m here, with you, because you’re worth it.
You’re worth any and every fight we might have.
You’re worth any and every bouquet I need to buy.
You’re worth every word I wrote in that letter.
More importantly, you’re worth every minute I get to spend with you.
So, yeah, I camped out waiting for you. Did I think he was going to walk you to your door?
No way. I thought it would only be you and we could talk.
That we could talk about the note I put with the flowers.
That was my intention for being here last night. ”
There was silence. No yelling, but silence. I wasn’t sure which was better, to be honest. She still wouldn’t look at me.
“Do you know that Garrett had to help me get you from the hall onto my couch?”
That pissed me off. I mean, I guess that made him a better man than me. It made me angry that I got so drunk I needed help from another guy. The guy she would have preferred to be with.
My instinct was to tell her what I thought of him. That he was using her to network and get his foot in the door with PFA. But if I did that, she’d be madder at me, so I kept my thoughts about him to myself.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all of it. I shouldn’t have had that much to drink.” The pain in my head was a constant reminder of that.
“Why were you that drunk, Chase?” she asked.
Now I was faced with a dilemma. Being honest so far has been working.
“Because I knew you were on a date, and I didn’t want to think about you being with another guy.”
Now I got the look, and it wasn’t a good one.
“What?” she cried. “There are two things wrong with that statement. First…” The blankets flew onto me as she launched herself out of bed.
“How the hell did you know I was on a date? And second, what business of yours is it if I’m with someone?
Especially with all the girls going in and out of your office all the time. ”
“Mare, I didn’t mean it like that.” But she didn’t care.
She stormed away, but with nowhere to go, she stomped back to her kitchen. Once at the refrigerator, she tore the door open, peered inside then shoved it closed.
“I have no food,” she said.
My tentative steps were quiet enough that she didn’t hear me coming up behind her. As I wrapped my arms around her, she jumped.
“I like that we’re talking,” I whispered in her ear.
“You call this talking?” She whipped around, out of my hold.
“Hold that thought, whatever you’re about to say, hold on to it. What we’re doing is good. Let’s keep doing it. How about I run to the bakery on the corner and get us some breakfast?”
She didn’t want to say yes or agree with me, but she did. I grabbed my coat and went for the door.
Once outside, I took off running to the bakery down the street.
I didn’t want to be long for fear we would lose our momentum.
Unfortunately, the line had other plans for me once I stepped inside.
It gave me time to decide what to get us, which I did a horrible job with.
Once it was my turn to order, I almost ordered one of everything.
Then I panicked when ordering her coffee and feared I got it wrong.
Caramel nonfat latte with almond milk.
It sounded right.
I would soon find out.
I hustled back to her place but had to press the buzzer for her apartment to get into the building. All the other times I was able to sneak in with someone else.
But there was no answer.
I pressed it again.
Still no answer.