Chapter 55
Caspian
Caspian ran the brush over the horse’s back, his roughness causing the animal to stamp in protest. He sighed and softened his touch, patting the horse apologetically on the neck.
He had only just arrived at Northall from Pirch, a small settlement farther north.
They’d requested aid in building a bridge for their logging enterprises some time ago, and he had ridden out to see the project started.
He had made it back before midday and hoped to leave well before dusk.
If all went according to plan, he’d stay only long enough for a hot meal and a good wash.
He’d told no one of his arrival, hence tending to his own horse.
If the wrong persons found out he was here, it would no doubt mean staying for dinner, and the night, and likely the next day as well.
Agitation came over him at the thought, and his movements became firm again.
Caspian was well aware that he was hiding from his betrothed.
Ever since the night where it had been clear she had wanted him to kiss her, he had barely spent a night at the keep.
It wasn’t out of cowardice, or even a desire to avoid being close to Priscilla.
In fact, this was all for her. Every minute he spent in her company, he disappointed her.
Every idle second spent at Northall only served to remind him of what he couldn’t have, made him doubt his choice, even though he knew it was the right one.
So, the solution had been to keep himself occupied until the wedding.
When the time came he would attend the ceremony, tie the knots, the oracle would bind their life paths, and the matter would be settled.
There would be no one for him then, but her.
He would be absent now so that he might one day be a doting husband.
It was an imperfect solution, but not an untenable one.
“Sir,” Lionel announced his presence behind him.
Caspian’s shoulders sank. Setting foot on Northall’s grounds without the steward’s attention had clearly been a fool’s hope.
“I won’t be staying,” Caspian said, brushing the horse with renewed vigor even as it shook out its mane restlessly.
“My lord, his royal highness Prince Gilbert is here to see you.”
Caspian paused. He wouldn’t have expected Gilbert until the wedding, which was still several days away.
“I’ll meet with him before I go. He can wait in the-”
“He is here to see you, sir,” Lionel stressed.
Caspian set the brush down at once, only to have it taken up by a young groom who appeared at his side.
He rounded the horse to see Lionel standing beside the crown prince of the realm, in his stables.
His black hair was combed back. A print of golden thorns and roses stretched over his jacket in an intricate pattern.
As always, his presentation was clean, regal even, only making Caspian’s travel weary state more evident by comparison.
“Your highness.” Caspian nodded a bow as he rubbed his hands clean on a cloth.
“I am not here in an official capacity today,” he said, waving away formalities. “Though there are matters I wish to discuss.”
Caspian’s brow tightened. “Of course.” He set the rag down.
“Shall we take a walk?” Gilbert suggested.
He only nodded before following the prince out into the gardens. The snow was a thick blanket over the hillside, but as always the keep’s garden paths were kept clear, showing the now significant divide between the earth and its winter coating.
Neither of them spoke until they were well out of earshot of the stables. Caspian sensed that the suggestion of the gardens, rather than a heated sitting room, had been in the spirit of avoiding unwanted attention.
“So why have you come?” Caspian asked finally, dropping any pretense of politeness or deference. Without an audience, it was easy to fall back into the casual rhythm of their friendship instead of upholding the expectations of their rank.
“I wanted to come the moment I got your invitation,” Gilbert explained. “I left as soon as I was able, though I must say, it was not the invitation I had anticipated.”
Dread settled over him. This was not a topic he wished to discuss. In fact, he’d kept it carefully buried to avoid the barrage of emotions that were now lurking in the corners of his mind.
The prince, however, pushed through his reluctant silence. “When I was last here, you were set to break the betrothal. Caspian, you were in love with another woman, the woman you spent years telling me about. Where is she now? Where is Keira?”
“She’s gone,” Caspian bit out. “She isn’t coming back.”
Gilbert looked back at him, bewilderment playing over his features. “That’s all? If I had known things would go so wrong after the Holly Feast, I never would have left. What do you mean she’s gone? Gone where? Why?”
Caspian gritted his teeth as agitation swelled in his skull. His questions echoed within his mind as if through an empty cavern, receiving no reply. “I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter,” he snapped.
Gilbert shook his head. “That woman was in love with you, Caspian. It was clear as the sun in the sky. There has to be a reason she left, and of course it matters!”
A savage laugh ripped through him. “If you find the answer, then by all means share it with me, but I have been down this path before and it leads only to madness.” Caspian took a steadying breath.
His temper had been short lately, as never before.
It was one of many uncomfortable companions that had filled the void she left behind.
“I can’t spend my life chasing her, loving her when she’s nothing but a ghost to me. ”
“Alright, alright, I understand. If she is truly gone, so be it. But why marry Lady Priscilla so soon? Are you not rushing into this? You know these things cannot be undone.”
“I’m not rushing anything. This was the choice I made before all of this, and I am honoring it. I knew then that I had to move on. She is kind and good to the people. She knows more about the court than I will in a lifetime. She’s the right choice.”
“But you don’t love her,” Gilbert urged. “From what I hear, you can’t even stand to be in your own home as long as she is there. Fate’s mercy, you won’t even say her name!”
“I apologize that I cannot mend myself in a day! Keira came back, offered me this hope of a future…. She stayed long enough for me to fall in love with her all over again only to-” He shook his head.
“She stole my heart back only to rip it from my chest and tear it into pieces. Forgive me if it takes me time to recover.”
“Then take that time! There is no need to rush this wedding, not now.”
“You’re wrong,” Caspian stressed, gripping the prince’s shoulders. “The only way I can move forward is if I give her up, for good. As long as there is the thinnest shred of hope, I’ll- I will hang myself on it.”
Gilbert nodded slowly, putting a steadying hand on him. “I understand, my friend.”
Caspian held him a moment longer before allowing his arms to fall to his sides.
“Tell me, where are you in such a hurry to get off to now?” he asked, tone turning casual once more.
“There are robbers on the woodland roads. Ever since the festival, they’ve been ambushing travelers. No doubt they will use the wedding as an opportunity to prey on my guests,” Caspian explained. “I’ll see the roads are safe before I return.”
Prince Gibert nodded slowly. “As you know, the crown does not take such crime lightly. I think I should see to this matter personally at your side.”
Caspian’s brows raised. “You, son of the king, heir to the realm, are going into the woodlands to hunt down bandits with me?”
“Yes, I think that between the two of us we can put the fear of the Fate into those bandits. Perhaps we’ll even spread tales that will forestall generations of outlaws.”
Caspian mulled over the idea. He would appreciate the company, not to be alone with only his thoughts through the tiresome travels and solitary nights. In the end, he clapped a hand on the prince’s shoulder. “We’ll be riding out before nightfall.”
“Naturally,” Gilbert sighed in agreement. “Wouldn’t want to risk a good night’s sleep.”