C H A P T E R F O R T Y – S I X
C H A P T E R F O R T Y – S I X
Altair
I need to talk to Iolas.
He must know what’s coming—and I need to hear him say that this is the right thing to do. Because right now, I’m not sure of anything.
The halls are quiet, as are the guards I pass as I make my way to Iolas’s chambers, the flickering light from the sconces casting long shadows on the walls. My footsteps echo softly against the stone floor, but it feels deafening in the silence.
When I reach his door, I hesitate for a moment, my hand hovering over the handle. But then I push it open.
Iolas is already awake. Of course he is. He’s seated in a chair near the window, reading a book, his sharp eyes immediately locking onto mine as soon as I step into the room. His nostrils flare slightly, and I don’t need to say a word for him to know what’s happened.
There’s a flicker of something in his eyes—jealousy, maybe. Concern, definitely. But he doesn’t jump to any conclusions. He knows me well enough for that.
“She’s all right,” I say, my voice low as I close the door behind me. “I didn’t… hurt her.”
It wasn’t really a risk but being intimate so soon after feeding increased my hunger for her. Still, I couldn’t ignore the underlying fear. With my heightened strength, there was always a chance I could hurt her—especially since I’ve never been with a human before. That thought alone had been enough to keep me hyper-aware of every move, every touch.
Iolas leans back in his chair, studying me for a long moment. His gaze is intense, as if he’s searching for any sign that I might be lying, but he knows better. “I know,” he says, his voice gruff. “You wouldn’t. You love her.” He pauses, and I can see the tension in his shoulders, the protective instinct that’s always there when it comes to her. “But is she all right?”
I nod, though I don’t feel like doing so. “She’s fine. She’s sleeping now.”
The room falls silent for a moment. I shift my weight, my gaze falling to the floor as I speak. “She… she wants to know the truth, Iolas. She’s asked me directly.”
He doesn’t respond right away, but I can see the frustration in his jaw, the way his hand grips the arm of the chair just a little tighter. “You’re going to tell her.” He states rather than asks, his tone flat.
“Yes. In the morning.”
Iolas lets out a long breath, shaking his head slightly. “You really think she’s ready for it? Only a few days before the ball?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice tight, raw. “But I can’t keep lying to her. She’s already starting to figure it out, and if I don’t tell her now, it’ll only make it worse later.” I swallow hard, the thought of losing her clawing at my chest. “We owe her the truth.”
Iolas runs a hand over his face, his fingers dragging through his hair. He’s silent for a long time, and I can see the battle going on behind his eyes—his instincts to protect her, to shield her from the worst of it, warring with the knowledge that I’m right.
“She’s strong,” Iolas finally says, his voice quieter now, more thoughtful. “Stronger than either of us gave her credit for.” He looks up at me, and there’s something like resignation in his gaze. “She’ll come to understand. She’ll remember.”
I wish I could believe that.
I sit down heavily on the edge of his bed, resting my head in my hands. And all of it—the responsibility, the guilt, the fear—it’s, suffocating. “What if she doesn’t?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. “What if she hates us for it?”
Iolas stands, moving over to where I’m sitting, and places a hand on my shoulder. It’s a simple gesture, but there’s comfort in it. “Then she’ll hate us,” he says bluntly. “But she’ll know the truth. And that’s better than lying to her, Altair.”
I let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through my hair. “Is it?”
He grips my shoulder a little tighter, and when I finally look up, I see the certainty in his eyes. “Yes,” he says firmly. “You know it is.”
I want to believe him. I want to believe that telling her the truth will somehow make this all easier, that it won’t drive her away. But a part of me—the selfish part—is terrified. Terrified that once she knows everything, she’ll never look at me the same way again.
But it doesn’t matter. I’ve made my decision, and I know it’s the right one, no matter how much it scares me.
“She’ll be fine, Altair,” Iolas says, his voice softer now, almost reassuring. “You need to stop spiralling and just trust her. She’s stronger than you think.”
I nod, though the doubt still lingers in the back of my mind. I stand up, taking a deep breath, trying to shake off everything pressing down on me. “I hope you’re right.”
Iolas smirks, though there’s no humour in it. “When am I not?”
I manage a small smile, but it fades quickly. I glance toward the door, my chest feeling heavy. “I should get back. She’ll wake soon.”
Iolas nods, giving my shoulder one last squeeze before letting go. “Go,” he says. “She’ll need you in the morning.”
As I turn to leave, his voice stops me.
“And Altair?” I pause, looking back at him.
“Whatever happens, I’m with you.”
I nod once, grateful, though I can’t quite find the words to express it. I feel like I don’t deserve his loyalty. But I’m grateful for it all the same.
Without another word, I leave his chambers and head back to Olwyn. To the truth. To whatever comes next.