Chapter 6
Chad
I swing by Perkatory Coffee Shop on my way to work with a notebook full of flirty openers in my pocket, but I’m not here to try them out on the women waiting on coffees. Not today. These lines have all been written with one specific woman in mind, Iggy.
I can’t believe she gave me her number. Standing outside her door, I was taking deep breaths, trying to slow my racing heart and mentally preparing for a no. Anxiety pangs were shooting through my chest, a bad sign that I wanted it too much, and that her no was gonna be a gut punch.
Maybe I’m an outlier, but accepting rejection with grace isn’t something anyone in my life ever tried to teach me. I had to learn along the way, and learn it I have. I’m proud of that. If she’d said no, I’d have wished her well and meant it, and then been on my way.
But she didn’t say no.
Her number is saved in my phone. I keep pulling it out and looking at it just to make sure it’s still there, like I’m a kid with a geode in his pocket.
I’ve had a couple of days to figure out what to text her. I stay up late into the night, but none of the words that come to me are the perfect ones I’m searching for. Luís was right, I’m an idiot. I’ve spent too much time thinking about the perfect in-person pickup line to deliver with a smile, a nod, or maybe even a wink. None of my lines feel right as text messages. Too much meaning is lost.
My best line, the one that feels the most accurate, would surely fail the hardest: You make me feel like I’m breathing in my first breath of morning air . I think I’d have to shove her outside at the crack of dawn just so she’d understand what I mean. Even then, how would she know what the morning air does to me? When I breathe it in, my chest feels like it’s expanding way bigger than it was ever meant to. The freshness and coolness doesn’t just wake me up, it makes me feel like I’m coming alive. It’ll start my head spinning after a few big breaths, but I’ll keep gulping it in and getting dizzier because I just can’t get enough of it.
She makes me feel like that, but how do I say that in a text?
When I get to the counter, I order a half-dozen scones, a present to leave on her doorstep like I’m some dumb barn cat leaving her dead mice. Hopefully she likes blueberry, lemon, and ginger enough that these will buy me another day to figure out what to say to her. She’ll know I’m thinking about her, if nothing else. That’s gotta be worth something, right?
I leave the box of scones at her cabin just as the sun is rising, moving quietly so as not to wake her, then head back down the mountain to the ranger station. On the way, I try to call my one and only brother, Drew. He’s seven years my senior, and he left home shortly after our mom up and moved away. I haven’t seen or spoke to him much since then, but I got his number from Darcy, his one and only daughter, and I’ve been leaving him messages every few days. I’m going to get through to him at some point, but his voicemail picks up again. So it’s not going to be today.
“Hey, Drew. You’ve gotta start picking up your phone, bro. It’s shitty and annoying that I can’t get you on the line. Like I said before, I’m expecting you for Christmas. No excuses. I know you and Darcy have some things to work out before then. That’s why I’m giving you plenty of forewarning. Get on that.” I’m about to hang up, but then I add, “Haisley’s getting real chubby.” A grin spreads across my face just thinking about how red that drooly little girl's cheeks were this morning. “I’ll send you some pictures here in a bit, but you’ve gotta see her in person. She’s something.” I hang up without saying goodbye.
I don’t even have time to set down my phone before it rings, and, like a dummy, I answer it with an expectant, “Drew?” Of course it’s not my estranged, grumpy, stubborn-ass brother.
“Chad! It’s Harty Mercer. I didn’t hear back from you about the renter. Is our gal alive or not?”
“Sorry, Harty. Yeah, she’s whole and sound. No worries there.” Not that I’ve actually seen her except a quick glance at her through the window. I suppose she could have a broken leg or something. Hmmm. Maybe I should have asked.
“Well, that’s unfortunate.” Harty heaves a heavy sigh, and I bristle at that.
“How is that unfortunate?”
“I was hoping you’d say the place was empty. I’ve got an interested renter inquiring about the cabin. Now I’m going to have to evict her. An unpleasant task on top of a long drive,” he grumbles, followed quickly by, “The police will do that sort of thing, won’t they? Free for taxpayers, I imagine. I’ll call them.”
“Whoa there! Just a second, Harty. Why are you trying to evict her?”
“Her card was declined. I’m not running a charity. If she can’t pay, she can’t stay.”
“It’s probably a mistake. Or what if she has another card?”
“Then she should have paid with it. I’m calling the police.”
“Wait, just wait! How about I stop by and try to clear up the matter before you go calling the cops, huh?” I can only imagine how much that would freak her out. A run-in with the police is probably the last thing anyone is expecting when they rent an isolated cabin way out in the woods.
“I suppose if I get her payment today, along with a late fee of say, fifty dollars, then there’s no harm done,” he says as if it’s the most gracious thing anyone has ever said.
“Alright then. I’ll swing by after work and let her know.”
“After work? I thought you’d be going now,” he says, and there’s a sharpness in his voice like he caught me trying to pull a fast one on him.
“No. I’ll go at five,” I say. I just left there, and if I turn back around, I’ll be late for my job, my real job, the one I actually get paid to do, not this Harty Mercer side hustle I seem to have picked up.
“I can’t wait until five. She needs to pay up or be gone by noon.”
“Fine. I’ll head over as soon as I can,” I say with a sigh. I guess this is what I’ll be doing on my lunch break.
I can hear the grin in Harty’s voice as he says something about me being a credit to public servants everywhere. “I’ll be telling the mayor as much next time I see him.” I don’t bother to tell him I’m a state employee, not city. I don’t think he understands anything about the public sector, and he certainly doesn’t know what a park ranger does.
At eleven, I radio in to tell Luís I’ll be taking my lunch early.
“Did you put out the fire?” he asks.
“Yeah, but the trashcan didn’t make it. We’ll need a new one.”
“Hot coals?” he asks.
“Sure enough,” I chuckle. It doesn’t matter how many signs we post about how to properly dispose of ash, city folks are trained from birth to throw everything in a trashcan, whether it belongs there or not.
As I’m driving up the mountain, I start second guessing my offer to help clear up this payment issue. “Do you have another credit card to pay for the cabin?” I don’t want that to be the first thing I’ve said to her since Monday, but it’s too late now. Maybe I can soften it with a good opening line.
My knock on the door is met by a startled, “Who’s there?”
“It’s Chad. Can I come in?” I ask.
“I’m naked!” she shouts.
“Still?” She was naked last time I knocked too, and I feel the same heated rush I did then. “Have you been walking around naked all week?” I mean to sound like I’m teasing, but I guess it doesn’t come off that way.
“So what if I have? Don’t be a prude.” I’m picturing her. I need to stop. Blood is rushing south, straight to my pants, and there’s nothing but a flimsy door between us. If I don’t stop, I’m going to knock it down.
“Furthest thing from it,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and casual and not like I’m fantasizing about kicking in a door. I shake my head, trying to clear the frankly disturbing thought. What’s gotten into me? I would terrify her, and rightly so.
“I have clothes,” she says a little too insistently, and it strikes me as odd, especially since I didn’t ask.
“I assumed you did.” But now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have.
“I just wasn’t expecting anyone!” There’s an edge of panic in her voice and it sounds like she’s scrambling around the cabin.
“And yet someone showed up. Could you put some clothes on so we can talk?”
“Why do I need clothes?” she asks. She sounds agitated, and her voice continues to travel back and forth, closer and further from the door. What is she doing in there?
“So I can come in,” I say. Not that I’d mind coming in otherwise, but the conversation we’re about to have is going to be awkward enough. Clothes should definitely be on.
“Nobody can come in here!” Her voice is shrill. “Please go!”
I’m stumped. I don’t know what else to do. So, after shuffling in place for a moment, I head back to my truck and sit there a minute before I pick up my phone.
Are you in trouble? Tell me the truth.
A couple of minutes tick by, and I start to think I won't get a reply, but then my phone buzzes.
Iggy
I am the trouble.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Iggy
Are you a highly skilled de-troubler?
Like wizard level.
I know she’s being cute, and I don’t want to sound like I'm bragging, but yeah, I've got some skills.
Handyman Level. Bonded and certified. Elbow grease can do anything magic can do and then some.
Iggy
Lol. Not true.
Sometimes true. Try me. What’s your smallest trouble?
Iggy
The job I came for didn’t pan out. Can you fix that for me?
I’m sorry to hear that. I wish I could.
Iggy
I got fired from my old job. They were pissed when I stopped showing up. Official notice of termination arrived yesterday. Anything for that?
Uh-oh. The declined credit card is starting to make sense. This might not be the quick fix kind of issue I was hoping it was.
So let me guess—you’re dead broke?
Iggy
yup.
I'm relieved. Of all the things that can go wrong in life, having money problems is nowhere near the worst of them. She’s upset now, sure. Being broke sucks, but she’ll be alright.
Been there, done that.
Iggy
Not like this, you haven’t.
I once lived on a beach out of a backpack for three months. I ate sand for supper and befriended a hermit crab, named him Ned.
It takes a while for her to answer.
Iggy
How’d you get off the beach?
A friend offered me his couch.
It was Luís, actually, and he did more than that. He drove cross country to pick me up and brought me home. Then he vouched for me and helped me get the park ranger job.