Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you fidget quite so much.
” His words interrupted the determined pace she had taken up to get them back home.
She needed to talk to Arabella. Knowing it would be fine.
Knowing her sister. Yet still needing to break the news to her.
One of the most pressing thoughts on her mind was her sister and planning the next steps to avoid scandal.
Because even though she had found something incredible, it didn’t eliminate the threat of ruination to her sister.
She glanced up at him, over her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you grin so much.”
“I’m happy,” he shrugged.
“About that…” Onward she marched, head down, back to twiddling her thumbs.
“Are you sure?” She didn’t really want the truth, just in case it hurt.
But then again, she needed to hear it. Needed to know now if this was the end.
Better now than later. “Because really I could understand if you were disappointed—”
“Amelia,” he stopped, grabbed her shoulders, then pointed to his face, “does this look like the face of a disappointed man?”
With great courage, she faced him, peeking up through her lashes. Then she shook her head.
“I’m not disappointed, darling. I’m delighted.”
“And you’re quite sure of that fact—”
“More than sure. I’m absolutely sure. There’s no doubt—”
“But how can you be sure?”
Curiously, a flash of pain threaded across his face.
He paused. After a deep inhale, he said, “I have much to tell you, but for now, suffice to say that I have seen the many faces of women. The ones they wear when everyone is watching, and the ones they wear when they think they’re alone.
Some women change faces more than they change their clothing.
But since I’ve known you, you’ve shown me one face. Pure. Determined. Lovely.”
His words were a whisper to the raging storm in her heart. A whisper that calmed. A whisper that reassured. That gave perspective.
“You think you know me then?”
He chuckled at that. “I do. And I think you know…most of me. For better or worse.” There was a slight hesitation in his statement, but she didn’t acknowledge it. “I think you’re the most loyal woman I’ve ever met. First and foremost, consider what you were doing for your sister.”
She scoffed. “But look how that turned out.”
“At no fault of our own. And your first thought throughout all of this was still about her.”
Amelia nodded her head. He was right. If she had an inkling at all that Arabella would be disappointed or hurt by her actions, she would have held back. But her younger sister had openly encouraged her pursuit of Benedict.
“So yes, with gusto, I can proclaim you are a very loyal woman.”
“And that’s important to you?”
“Of the utmost importance.” With a gentle touch of his fingertips, he tipped her chin up to meet his gaze. “And what’s of importance to you?”
It took but a moment for her to reply. “Happiness.”
“Can you be happy with me?” His quiet words were laced with vulnerability, and she could see the slow swallow in his throat. Her hands lifted to cover his.
“Yes. I can be happy with you.” That took more courage than she had expected, so she ducked her head. “I just…need to learn to let go. I don’t understand it yet.”
“It’s called trust, darling.”
“Yes. Perhaps it is.”
“But not just trusting me. It’s trusting yourself.
Trusting the future. Trusting that no matter what happens, you’ll be alright.
You’ll manage. Like you always do. That it’s alright to be happy now.
Embrace it. Even knowing that pain will come in the future.
But let tomorrow’s pain be tomorrow’s worry.
Don’t let tomorrow’s pain leech today’s happiness. ”
He pulled her close, thumbs sweeping at her cheeks.
“I want that. I want to have an untainted, unfiltered happiness. And I have felt it with you. That day we did the watercolors. Laughing with you gave me a glimpse of it. And then…” she stopped as a furious blush crept into her cheeks.
“Earlier today in the cabin. I felt it. And I didn’t fight it. I let go.”
Deep penetrating eyes stole her breath. His feet framed hers. “Is that why you cried, darling?”
She nodded, but only made it halfway through before his lips claimed hers.
His groan eclipsed her own.
But then just as quickly as it started, he ripped his lips from hers. “I’d have you again right now, Amelia. But first we need to take care of a few things.”
“Like telling Arabella.”
“And replanning some of the wedding details.”
She gasped.
“Your day will be perfect.”
She was stuttering so badly that she couldn’t make out a sentence.
“You’re mine, Amelia. And you always will be. Did you think for even one second that you wouldn’t be after what we’ve shared?”
And then she sputtered out a question that fell somewhere between extremely significant and couldn’t care less at the moment. “But you haven’t asked yet.”
He only grinned, pressed a kiss to her nose, and answered, “Don’t worry. I will.”
And since she was so discombobulated, she poked the bear, as per her nature. “How do you know I’ll say yes.”
His grin widened. “Don’t worry. You will.”