Chapter Twenty-Five
Dear Lady Amelia,
My last choice is always yours.
Yours truly,
Mrs. Dove-Lyon
“I let go, Benedict. But you didn’t give it back. You took it all away and crushed it.” She had to say it. Had to say it all. Show him everything.
There was no moving on unless she built up the argument against it, and then demolished that argument. She needed to know that he saw her whole heart, understood all of her feelings, cared about each thought she had about the events of the past ten days.
It took everything inside of her to learn how to let go, and she had been devastated.
With resolve and grit, she had tried to return to the place she’d been before she met him.
The place that fostered her independence and touted her self-reliance.
The place where she could do whatever she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
Where she could enjoy her hobbies and take care of the people around her.
Yet she found herself not acting as gracefully under pressure as she had hoped.
No. Not at all. In fact, she had practically fallen apart.
It would take forever to pull all the pieces back together.
And that’s what she needed him to appreciate.
She couldn’t wake herself up after a long hibernation, be destroyed, and then awaken herself again, could she?
“I understand, my love. You let go and you lost it. And it was terrible. For so long you suppressed your dreams, thinking them impossible. Thinking they had vanished forever. And then together we explored the possibility of them.”
His words were truth. A painful reminder.
“And then even still, you ignored me. You treated me as every other man in my past has treated me. My worst fear. You pretended I didn’t even exist. When she showed up…you just stood there like I wasn’t even there.”
“I had to do that to protect you, Amelia.” He was down on his knees, pleading with her. “You must believe me. Of course she knew I had come here, but she didn’t know which of you held my heart. I couldn’t give her any more ammunition. She’s a manipulative woman. I was only trying to protect you.”
Amelia sniffed. “It was so painful to bear, Benedict.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re the only woman I have eyes for.
The only woman in the world that could possess my soul the way you do.
” He pressed soft kisses into her palms. “I know this has been awful. But what of us now? If I can’t have you, can’t prove to you for the rest of forever that I love you, it will be terrible forevermore.
But…” He stroked her cheek gently. “If you let me make it up to you, I’ll spend the rest of our lives going through the joy and pain with you. You can have your dreams, my love.”
Clutching at his forearm, she blinked slowly. “How can I trust you?”
“I have no other secrets. And I was going to tell you everything about my past before I proposed. She just beat me to it.”
“But…how can I do this again?”
“It’s an inescapable dilemma, love. You have to trust me to trust me…But for as long as it takes, I’ll prove I’m trustworthy to you. I’ll prove that I love you. And I’ll prove that you can have your dreams.”
Her grip on his arm tightened. She wanted him almost as much as she felt that she needed him.
“I want to go through it all with you.” She squeezed her eyes shut for but a moment.
“I want to feel the joy with you and go through the pain with you. There’s no one else.
I want to awaken my dreams again, dream new dreams, and let them become a reality. ”
He pressed his face into her neck. “I love you for that, Amelia.”
“I love you, too, Benedict.”
“So you’ll forgive me?”
Full of hope and awash in love, she gave the answer she had wanted to give earlier but couldn’t. “Yes.”
“That’s the best news I’ve ever heard.” He swept her up into his arms and spun her around. Pressing a long kiss against her lips, he was just about to pull back when her hands threaded into his hair, holding him there.
“Don’t ever leave me again, Benedict.”
“I won’t. Not without leaving a note.” His lips kicked up into a smile.
Her hands grabbed his lapels and she consumed him with a kiss.