20. Emilia
Chapter 20
Emilia
I pull the cloak tighter around my shoulders as the men fan out to set up the tents and start a fire. Walking to the other side of the mountain, I see the landscape unfolding in front of me. The familiar mountaintops line the horizon. The dips and valleys, filled with trees and flying birds, create a pang of homesickness in my stomach. It has been a long time since I have seen them. Some of the mountains are still covered in snow, and the music of the songbirds is just beginning. It reminds me of simpler days when all we needed to worry about was going to work and coming home. A few twigs crack and break, and looking over my shoulder, I see Garrick approaching me.
“Beautiful sight, isn’t it?.” Standing beside me, his arm brushes against mine.
“Makes me miss home.” Garrick wraps his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me before dropping his arm.
“We’ll make it back home.” But that’s just it. I don’t know if I want to go home anymore .
“I wonder where Father is? Is he okay?” A flock of birds forms a group and takes off into the air. The setting sun gives them a majestic backdrop.
“Wherever he is, he is happy you are safe, and he’ll be even happier that you have found your bond.” Startled by the comment, I look up at Garrick. I have had a quiet fear that Father won’t approve of Timas.
“Do you think he will like Timas?” My stomach twists at the thought of Father disliking Timas and that after rescuing him from his captives, I would still have to choose between him and the man I am starting to fall in love with. I hadn’t realized a tear had slipped from my eye or that this thought weighed so heavily on me until Garrick’s thumb wiped my tears away.
“Emmy, if Timas makes you happy, Father will be happy. That’s all he has ever wanted for us, to be happy.” Garrick wraps me up in a hug and squeezes too hard, like he usually does, making me laugh and nudging his side to give me some space.
“I’d better make sure the tents are put up properly, but I fear Milori will deliberately leave me to the elements if I don’t watch him carefully enough.” I can’t help but laugh at his casualness with Milori. They act more like siblings than strangers who just met over a week ago.
“Be nice,” I can’t help but say. He gives a half smile and turns to walk away.
The setup for our makeshift camp was quick, and before we knew it, we were sitting around the fire eating some bread and meat that the palace cook sent along for us. The smell of roasting meat embarrassingly makes my stomach rumble, which everyone but Timas laughs at, who then made it his personal mission to put as much food into my body as possible.
“Are you sure you’ve had enough?” For the tenth time, Timas asks me if I’m full.
“Yes, Timas. I have eaten so much I don’t even think I can walk after this. That last piece of bread was more than I should have eaten.” I smile up at the genuine concern etched on his face. His blue eyes sparkle in the firelight. The sunset, hours before, leaves the cold air that nips at the back of my neck while the fire warms my front. Timas and I stayed up while everyone else went to their sleeping pads. Sitting close together, we watch the fire crackle against the night.
“Come, I want to show you something.” Timas stands and holds his hand out to me. Slipping my hand into his, he pulls me from my sitting position. Away from all the tents and the nice warm fire, Timas leads me down a small path, barely lit by the moon above. Into a small grove of trees, there is a clearing entirely covered by fireflies. The scene is far beyond anything I could possibly describe. Everywhere I look, small blinking lights from the fireflies cover the space. The trees are towering, with twinkling lights interlacing through the leaves.
“How is this possible? I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Timas pulls me forward, walking among the insects, leading me straight to a mound of blankets I hadn’t noticed.
“I wanted to do something special for you. It’s been a hard time for you lately, and I just wanted you to feel the magic I feel when I look at you.” The things he says sometimes don’t feel real. Still, I can’t bring myself to criticize because what woman doesn’t want to feel like she means the world to a man, that he would burn it all down to be with her or go against everyone to make sure her father–whom she loves dearly—is rescued and brought back to safety. He leads me to the blankets lying on the ground. They are nothing fancy, which makes sense, considering we have limited space for this trip. As we approach the blankets, the orbs of fire surrounding them become more mesmerizing, and the warmth intensifies. Small spherical orbs give off a subdued light and plenty of heat to stave off the cold.
“How is this possible?” I ask, but I don’t know if I am referring to all the fireflies or the orbs of fire. Timas must understand my surprised reaction because he explains them both.
“The fireflies are a species of the Fae people. They are particularly accommodating when you offer them a place to live in the palace, so when I asked them to help me, they were kind enough to say ‘yes’ and come here for me. As for the orbs, Milori is adept at fire magic and has placed them here to keep us warm.” So much of that needs further explanation.
“Wait! Can you speak to fireflies? And Milori can control fire? Why didn’t he do that instead of building a fire at the camp?” We are sitting on the blankets, surrounded by magic I have never seen before. So much of this is so far outside of my understanding that I don’t know what to do or say.
“I can’t talk to the fireflies, per se. It's more like I can… feel them. The connection a King has with the lesser Fae species is unique. Only if you listen will they tell you what they want. As for the orbs of fire, it takes a lot of skill and energy to make them. These will only last for a short while before going out. To create a large fire would expend too much of Milori’s energy, but he demanded I not kill you by way of hypothermia, so he insisted on making a few to keep you warm.” The whole thing feels so otherworldly. Growing up in this world, we all knew about the magic the Fae possessed, but the vast majority have never seen it for themselves, including me.
“This is something out of a dream,” I whisper, still shocked by the beauty surrounding us. Timas pulls me further down so we can lie on our backs looking up at the stars. He grabs some blankets and lays them over the top of both of us. The longer I am with Timas, the stronger I feel a pull towards him, as if this invisible string ties us together. At first, the string that connected us was thin, barely there, but the more time I spent with him, the stronger it got. At this point, I’m not sure I can walk away from it, not that I would want to. The crickets chirp while we stare at the moon, curled up in each other’s arms.
“My mother would tell me of the times my father would take her stargazing. She said it felt like staring at an entirely new world with endless possibilities.” Timas wistfully says.
“She sounds like an amazing woman.” Timas rubs my arm lightly with his fingers, soothing me into a tranquil state.
“She always lived in a story she loves to read. My father had special rooms all over the palace where my mother could sneak off and escape into a book when court life became too much. They may have had a chosen bond, but they grew to love each other fiercely. When my father was assassinated over a year ago, my mother just completely shut down. She never really wanted to be Queen, but she did it out of duty to her people and her King.” That broke my heart a little, hearing how difficult it must have been for his mother, but how sweet it was that his father created safe spaces just for her.
“Can I be honest?” I try to keep the fear out of my voice.
“Of course you can.” Snuggling closer to him, I take a deep breath before sharing my fears.
“I’m afraid your people aren’t going to accept me, but I’m even more afraid that your mother won’t either. Not having a mother figure for most of my life and a terrible one at the beginning of it, I… I wish for someone who might see me, accept me for who I am, and love me, even if it’s hard. Maybe it’s an unrealistic hope to have for your mother, but I… I don’t know. I really want to have a mother. Is that silly? A twenty-five-year-old woman, hoping to have a mother figure in her life.” Timas shifts us around so he can look at my face. Thankfully, I don’t see the pity, which is what I was expecting, but I see understanding.
“It’s not unreasonable to want to be loved unconditionally by a parent. Your mother made a terrible choice in leaving you, but I can say, with absolute certainty, that my mother will be overjoyed to have a daughter. She often mentioned how I would have been easier to deal with if I were a girl. She plans to be here to celebrate our betrothal and sounds very excited to meet you. I think you will give her the joy she has lacked this past year. I can’t, however, prevent her from making some comments about children. The Fae people are notorious for hounding newly bonded couples about children.” I know my cheeks are going beet red at the mention of having children, not because they are something to be embarrassed about, but because it all feels like it’s going really fast. We meet one day, and the next, we are planning to bond with one another. An image of my father comes to mind, which immediately pours cold water on my emotions because I never imagined starting a relationship without him having at least met the person. And, as it stands right now, he is still locked up somewhere as a way to keep me in line, and the thought sobers me.
“If anything, I should be nervous about meeting your Father. He sounds like a formidable and respectable man, and I can only hope he will see me as a worthy pairing for you.” And because my body and mind don’t know what to do, I get butterflies and become that much more attracted to him.
“He is going to adore you. You have protected Garrick and I, and he has always valued the sacred bond between races. When I was around sixteen, he told me about the spirit bonds of the Fae people and the soul bonds of the Orc people. I was jealous at the time, thinking that would never happen to me because of the way he talked about it, like it was some untouchable connection that only the gods granted. For the Orcs, the soul bond is apparently to make good, strong pairings to bolster the Orc people–at least, that’s what my father said about why the goddess created it. Still, he never really knew how the spirit bond worked, other than to assume it was as strong a connection for the Fae as it was for the Orcs. But sixteen-year-old me dreamed of having one, though experiencing one in real life is scary.”
“Are you scared of me, my flower?”
“No, no. I’m not scared of you, but a small part of me is scared of a connection so deep I will forget everything else – family or myself.”
“Being in love does not mean you lose yourself or those you hold dear, or at least it shouldn’t. It should mean you share the deepest part of yourself with someone who can see you for you, to have someone to laugh with when life is stressful and someone to cry with when pain occurs. My mother often said that, over the years of her relationship with my Father, there were times when he needed to hold the weight of the relationship, and then other times she would. They were partners in everything. I can not promise I will be easy to deal with. In fact, I can guarantee I will be a complete beast to deal with at times, but be patient with me, and we will live this life together.”
He paints a beautiful picture—a life I am now craving. I can see it now: him waking up in the morning and sitting with me eating breakfast or talking through another proposal from the council, me being an ear for him to express his thoughts with no fear of judgment or repercussion. It sounds marvellous. It’s then I realized I want that and that I would fight for it if I had to.
“That sounds beautiful.” His lips meet mine, and as he moves, I match his movements. The hands that carry so much power turn to the gentlest caresses as he strokes my jaw and neck, drawing me deeper into the kiss. I whimper at the pressure of his body against mine, and a deep groan from his chest matches my call. I am overwhelmed by the emotion of being desired by such a powerful man. Eventually, we pull away as he rests his forehead against mine, my body flushed by our kiss.
“The bonding ceremony can not happen soon enough,” he grumbles. I chuckle at his comment. He lies back, and I lay my head on his chest. We look up at the stars and talk late into the night. Before I know it, my eyes grow heavy, and I fall asleep in the arms of the Day Court King.