Gabe
Jason’s been in an accident.
My whole body went cold when I heard Tobias utter those words through the phone.
No.
It can’t be true.
I’m going to walk into that hospital room, and he’s going to have a cast on or something. He’s going to look at me with his cute face and apologize for giving me a scare.
That’s what’s going to happen.
Mom and I run past hospital staff, weaving around carts and machines. “It’s going to be okay, Gabe.”
We finally get to the room where Jason is, but an ICU nurse stops us before we can fully enter.
“Whoa,” she says, with her hands held up. “We need to slow down. Are you family?”
Whatever need I felt before to stay silent is gone. Jason is hurt, and I need to know what’s happening.
“Yes, I’m his boyfriend; please let me see him.”
The way her face changes makes me want to throw up. The pity in her eyes…
“Before you go in, I want to tell you what to expect.”
Oh my God.
My arms shake as she leads Mom and me into the hallway. We stand in a huddle, and the nurse takes a deep breath. “He’s had a very severe accident, but he’s stable at this time.”
Mom rubs my back and whispers, “He’s stable, hon—”
“What happened?”
“He was in a motor vehicle accident,” she explains. “He suffered a traumatic brain injury. Right now, we don't know how severe it is or what his recovery will look like.”
My vision blurs, and the lights become too bright in the hallway. “Brain damage?” I ask.
The nurse takes another breath. “We don’t know how severe it is, but he did suffer a brain injury.”
Mom pulls me closer. “We’re going to help him, Gabe. It’s going to be alright.”
I can barely get the words out. “Can I see him?”
The nurse nods, and we follow her into the room. Tobias and his henchmen speak with a doctor, and they all look at me when I enter.
Then I see Jason—
My legs nearly give out.
“N-no…”
It doesn’t even look like him. His entire face is swollen, and a breathing tube disappears into his mouth. A hard, plastic collar keeps his neck still, and there’s a bandage around his skull. His arms and hands are raw, covered in scrapes so bad it doesn’t even look like he has skin anymore.
The whoosh of the ventilator mixes with the clicks of IV pumps and the beeping heart monitor to make a soundtrack for this nightmare I’m living in.
I don’t believe it’s real.
Because it can’t be; this can’t be real.
Mom’s “Jesus Christ” pulls me back to Earth, and this time, my legs do buckle, and I fall to the floor. Mom’s there in a flash to help me up, and the nurse runs to get a chair.
“You need to sit,” the nurse instructs. She attempts to help me sit, but I shrug her off and approach Jason.
“What happened?” I hear myself ask in a strangled scream. I fall to my knees next to the bed and run my fingers along Jason’s scraped hands. “What happened?” I whisper.
“Doctor, give us a moment,” Tobias says.
The medical staff leaves, and I’m alone with Tobias, Mom, and a bunch of HellCats.
“The van was attacked,” Tobias informs me.
“Why?” I wail.
What a stupid question. I know why…because of this fucking man letting Jason into this goddamn gang.
Tobias approaches, and I leap to my feet and scream, “Back off! Don’t get near him.”
His eyes widen in shock. “This happened because of you! Don’t you fucking get near him!”
Tobias attempts to say some bullshit about getting the guys who did this, and the fury within explodes out of me.
“What good will that do? Will it bring him back? Huh?”
“He’s not dead,” Tobias says in a pained voice.
“But his brain might be.”
Nothing can stop me now.
Fuck silence.
The flames of hell rage inside me, and all I want to do is annihilate this man. I feel like I did the night I killed Dad.
“You did this to him.” My voice is low, almost demonic.
“He’s not even twenty-one. You let him into this shit show, and look what happened.
He doesn’t deserve this. His life was hard enough, and he looked up to you—wanted to make you proud.
And what did you do?” I point to Jason’s mangled body. “Look at him!”
Tobias’s face cracks. His skin turns sallow, and his throat bobs as he swallows.
“If he wakes up—when he wakes up,” I say, pointing at him. “You let him leave if he wants to. He’s a stubborn bastard and loves you, so he might not want to, but if he does—” I swallow the lump in my throat. “You will let him leave. Do you understand?”
Tobias looks at Jason, his chest rising and falling. “If he wants to leave. He can.”
My eyes land on Jason—on his poor, pitiful face.
“Now, get out,” I tell Tobias. “And take your assholes with you.”
Once they’re gone, Mom wraps her arms around me, sniffling and crying, as the medical staff comes back in.
I kneel beside the bed, running my fingers over the scrapes on Jason’s fingers, when the nurse approaches with the chair again. “Please,” she says.
I take a seat and link my pinky with Jason’s, but I pull away and ask, “Is this okay? Am I hurting him?”
The nurse shakes her head. “Not at all.”
I look at her nametag. Constance. The doctor approaches. “I know this is very hard. Please know we’ll do everything we can for him.”
“Are you his doctor?” Mom asks.
He nods. “Yes, I’m Doctor Shiffren.”
“D-do you think—” I swallow, nearly falling apart all over again. “Do you think he has brain damage?”
“It’s too early to know,” the doctor replies.
“What can I do?” I ask. “How can I help? I’ll do anything.”
Constance rests her hand on my shoulder. “Talk to him.”
I look up at her, and the doctor adds, “We encourage family to talk to patients who are in this condition. Whether they're aware of it or not, a familiar voice can be comforting.”
I look at Jason—at his damaged body. “Then that’s what I’ll do.”