Chapter Four Satoshi #2
‘Very elegant, just like you, Miss Rosie. But it’s also a bit pricey, so if you’d prefer I suggest something else—’
‘No need,’ Chess said. ‘We’ll take the champagne.’
Fiona hadn’t looked at me once. It felt like someone had uncoiled my intestines, tied several knots in them, and then stuffed them back into my body. ‘Champagne it is.’ My cheeks ached from smiling. ‘I’ll be back with that momentarily.’
It was a struggle to keep my breathing even as I found a bottle of the champagne in the cellar.
I hadn’t had a full-blown panic attack in years, but I had to lean heavily against the wall and stand still for a few moments until my head stopped spinning and my heart stopped feeling like it was about to explode out of my chest.
There was nothing I could do to fix what I’d fucked up with Fiona. Not here, not tonight, not until I could get her on her own and talk to her. For now, I just had to get through this evening, one excruciating step at a time.
I took another deep breath and started loading up my guéridon, the little cart somms used for at-table wine presentation.
The champagne. An ice bucket, to keep it at the right service temperature.
Glassware – I served sparkling in pinot noir glasses at Tsundoku because I thought it showed the fruit better, but for a restaurant this formal, tulips were more appropriate.
Service cloths. An underliner for the cork.
I thought for a moment, took down another bottle and added a second ice bucket, took a final deep breath, and pushed my guéridon back out to the table. ‘2018 Grand Cru champagne,’ I said, presenting the bottle to Chess.
‘Wonderful,’ she replied.
I did not let my eyes wander to Fiona as I placed the glasses on the table.
I did not let myself think of her as I went through the familiar ritual of opening sparkling wine: two swipes of my wine knife to cut the foil, six twists to loosen the wire cage, thumb over the top of the cork as I held the bottle at a forty-five degree angle, opening it silently.
I placed the cork on the underliner and set it on the table before I poured a splash into Chess’s glass. ‘For you to try.’
She tasted it. ‘Oh yes, that’s excellent. Thank you.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ Court rules of service dictated that ladies be served first, gentlemen second, and the host last, so I began by filling Sadie’s glass. ‘Every region has its bad wines, of course, but it’s difficult to go wrong with champagne.’
I had to move to Fiona’s right shoulder so I could fill her glass. It gave me a view of her lap, where she had her fingers twined so tightly together her knuckles had gone white. I had a very steady hand, but that was almost enough to make it waver.
‘I’ve poured a few champagnes for you before, Fiona,’ I said casually, because if I didn’t say something – anything – to break this tension, I might die. ‘Any stand out in your memory?’
‘Oh. Um…’
I had to move around the table to fill Jonah’s glass. I could no longer see Fiona’s hands, but I could see her pale, drawn face, which was worse.
‘You – um – maybe this is a bit of a basic opinion, but you poured a pink champagne for me a couple of years ago that I still think about sometimes,’ she said. ‘It was lovely.’
I remembered that day. It had been late afternoon, the sun sinking behind the mountain, and she’d brought Lex in to browse the bookshelves.
Lex had asked me if I could answer a question for them about their French homework, and we’d ended up chatting for about half an hour as I explained a few grammatical points and helped them find a pronoun they’d be comfortable with.
About ten minutes in, when it had become clear that Lex and I would be there for a while, I’d poured Fiona a glass of a rosé champagne I’d just got in and told her it was my payment for the very interesting conversation her firstborn and I were having.
‘That is a lovely one,’ I agreed, filling Chess’s glass. ‘Unfortunately, everyone else thought the same, because the price rocketed up. If I can ever afford to stock it again, it’ll be going straight back on my list.’
I put the champagne bottle in the ice bucket, tucking a service cloth around the neck. ‘Speaking of pink,’ I said, ‘elegant ladies, does this meet your approval?’
I took a bottle of pink lemonade from the second ice bucket and presented it to the twins. ‘Yes!’ Georgia exclaimed, clapping her hands.
‘Fantastic.’ I set glasses down in front of the three kids.
‘Lex, I’m pretty confident your sisters will like this, but if it’s not to your taste, let me know, and I’ll get you something else.
My job tonight is making sure you have the best beverage experience of your life, so don’t be afraid to tell me if you want something different. ’
Lex tried the splash I’d poured for them. ‘This is nice. Thanks, Satoshi.’
‘You’re very welcome.’
One of the waiters came to the table with the first course as I nestled the bottle of pink lemonade back into the ice bucket.
I took the opportunity to disappear, even though some deep, animal instinct in me screamed that I should stay – smile, chat, show Fiona that nothing had changed, that everything was fine, that we could completely forget it had ever happened if she wanted to, although if she wanted to do it again, then—
No. Not now. Not here.
I did my best to focus on service, making myself pay close attention to what each table was asking and what their ideal wine pairing would be, but it was impossible not to let my eyes wander sometimes.
Sadie and Chess were having a spirited conversation, both laughing, and Jonah was doing the same with the kids, but on Fiona’s face was a faint, forced smile.
She was sipping her champagne slowly. I watched her covertly from the corner during a pause, unable to tear my eyes away from the movement of her throat as she swallowed.
She was wearing a dark green dress tonight – one I’d seen her wear before and always thought she looked nice in – but now I knew what her breasts felt like in my hands, it was difficult not to look at the hint of cleavage rising out of her neckline, to imagine tracing a line across it with the pad of my finger, and…
‘Satoshi, I think Table Twenty-Two is trying to catch your attention,’ one of the waiters said as they passed me on their way to the kitchen.
I made myself smile and nod.
By the time I’d served Table Twenty-Two (and had to work hard to come up with a pairing for them, given they wanted a structured white wine with notes of vanilla but were insistent they hated anything that had even glimpsed oak), Fiona’s table was done with their first course.
‘How did you enjoy that?’ I asked the girls, topping up their glasses.
‘It was delicious!’ Georgia replied.
‘Ah, but was it elegant?’
They both giggled. ‘Satoshi, you should use two hands when you’re pouring,’ Rosie told me seriously. ‘Otherwise, you’ll spill it all over the floor. That’s what Mummy says.’
‘Mummy’s completely correct.’ I wrapped the fingers of my left hand exaggeratedly around the neck of the lemonade bottle as I topped up Lex’s glass. ‘I should be much more careful. Thank you for reminding me.’
I allowed myself a brief glance at Fiona. Her face was still pale, but she met my gaze. Thank you, she mouthed.
I winked back. She immediately looked down at her lap.
‘Would you like a recommendation for the next course?’ I asked Chess as I moved around the table refilling the champagne glasses, trying my best not to show how much that reaction had stung.
‘Actually, Chessie, before you order another bottle,’ Sadie said, ‘can we make an announcement?’
‘I’ll come back when you’re ready.’ I put the empty bottle back in the ice bucket.
‘No, no, stay. We’d like you to hear this too, Satoshi. We have a favour to ask, if you don’t mind.’ Sadie glanced at Jonah. ‘Do you want to tell them or should I?’
Jonah looked back at her. He had his arm around her, thumb lightly stroking the bare skin of her upper arm, the adoration in his eyes obvious. ‘We’re getting married,’ he said.
‘I thought you were already married,’ Georgia said. ‘Mummy showed us pictures.’
‘We are.’ Jonah tore his gaze away from his wife. ‘But we had to get married very fast, and that meant hardly any of our favourite people got to be there. Auntie Chess wasn’t there. Mummy wasn’t there. Lex wasn’t there. And you know what we didn’t have any of?’
Rosie gasped. ‘Flower girls?’
‘Absolutely zero flower girls,’ Sadie said. ‘And is it even really a wedding if there are no flower girls?’
The high-pitched shriek both twins emitted was so loud that several other tables looked over. ‘Shhh, girly-pops,’ Fiona said. ‘I know you’re excited, but remember – elegant.’
She looked up at me. Sorry, she mouthed.
I shook my head. It’s fine.
She didn’t look away this time. Neither did I. I could feel the pulse of my heart in my ears. Pink roses started to bloom in her cheeks.
‘… our anniversary in February,’ Jonah was saying.
‘We were thinking maybe we could have the ceremony out at your vineyard, Satoshi,’ Sadie added. ‘If that’s okay with you and Isamu?’
‘I’ll have to check – the vineyard is his territory – but I’m sure that’ll be fine.’ Dragging my attention away from Fiona felt like dragging a ten-tonne plough. ‘Perhaps you could come into Tsundoku this week and we can sort out the details?’
‘I think we can manage that,’ Sadie said, but she wasn’t looking at me. She and Jonah were gazing at each other again, two human versions of the heart-eyes emoji.
Chess, leaning back in her chair, had an inscrutably neutral expression, but Fiona swallowed reflexively, then – in a move I recognised all too well – pasted a smile onto her face. ‘I’m so happy for you.’
‘Thanks, Fi.’ Jonah turned to hug her. ‘I want you to be my best man, by the way. Elias had his turn last time.’
Fiona’s laughter was forced. ‘I’ll do my best.’
‘And obviously I want you to be my maid of honour,’ Sadie said to Chess.