Chapter Fourteen Satoshi #3
If you and I were just sleeping together, maybe I’d feel differently
And if Sadie weren’t married to my brother, then I’d definitely feel differently
But she is, and asking her to keep secrets from him feels very unfair
SATOSHI
…
…
…
FIONA
I assume what you’re trying to ask is, ‘Why don’t you just tell Jonah, there’s an obvious solution right in front of your face?’
SATOSHI
That is not the phrasing I was planning to use
FIONA
I know x
The answer is: childhood trauma
Well, early twenties trauma, which is basically childhood
SATOSHI
Do you want me to call you? Talk this through on the phone?
I’m working, but I could get Charlotte to watch things for a few minutes
FIONA
Text might be better, tbh
It’s easier for me sometimes to write things down – you know how my mouth can get ahead of my brain x
Basically: when I announced I was getting married, my family all told me I was making a massive mistake
My mum called me stupid and short-sighted
My dad said me marrying Matt would make me worse than a failure
Elias told me not to be an idiot
And Jonah looked me in the eye and said, ‘Can you explain why this ISN’T the worst choice anyone has ever made in the history of the world?’
Which really stung, because we were close back then and I’d been counting on him supporting me. Not very fair of me to put that on an 18yo, but still…
Anyway: I’m not comparing you + me to Matt + me. Two totally different situations, two totally different people x
And you are the single loveliest person in the world – this is, I promise, really not about you at all xx
But on paper… just like ‘na?ve 22yo drops out of uni and marries rich older dickhead who immediately knocks her up and moves her to an island’, ‘middle-aged single mother starts dating hot younger man fifteen minutes after getting divorced’ isn’t a story people expect to end well
So even though Jonah *knows* you, and he’s an adult now, and he’d probably just be like, ‘Good for you, Fi’ and mayyyybe – at most – raise an eyebrow at how quickly I’ve jumped into another relationship, I’ve still got the memory of that night in my bones
And he and I have only really just come back from that. The thought of hearing something like that from him again…
SATOSHI
I see.
FIONA
None of this is fair to you. I’m sorry.
SATOSHI
You don’t need to apologise
I’m never going to push you to do something you’re not comfortable with x
FIONA
I will tell him eventually x
But we’re still so new, Satoshi
What if I told him tomorrow and then you got sick of me next week? Then Jonah would feel morally obliged to stop coming into Tsundoku, and I cannot in good conscience cost you business like that.
SATOSHI
Fiona.
FIONA
Plus, if I’m being *really* honest: I’m not sure how to say ‘Hey, I’m getting railed by the nice boy in the bar’ to my baby brother without the ground opening and swallowing me whole
SATOSHI
…
…
Speaking of you getting railed: see you Thursday?
I have to work, but I can promise you wine, orgasms and breakfast the next morning
FIONA
You’re on. I’ll come in as soon as I’ve dropped the kids off x
I’ll bring my laptop – I have some reading I want to do for my spider cellar piece
And then I’ll help you clean up after close (in order to get to the railing with the greatest possible efficiency)
SATOSHI
How can I refuse such an offer?
Feel free to pencil ‘reading and railing’ in your diary for every Thursday night for the foreseeable future
FIONA
Ah yes, the true meaning of R&R
SATOSHI
Just wondering – any further thoughts about being my date to the Aus Somm of the Year dinner? I know it’s complicated with childcare, but I would really love for us to be a couple somewhere that isn’t my bar or my bed.
MAXI
Hey Satoshi, just checking to see if you’re doing ok!
You weren’t your normal cheery self at study group
SATOSHI
I’m fine, don’t worry!
Just a tad overworked atm
MAXI
NO idea how you do it, honestly
If I was running a business on top of studying for this bastard exam, I’d die. I’m drowning when all I do is work in someone else’s.
ISAMU
Any progress on finding a new junior somm?
SATOSHI
A few applications, but no one with the right skills or experience yet
I’m going to run another ad
In the meantime, I’ve been giving Charlotte extra training
I’d prefer not to have her run the floor before she passes Certified, but in a pinch, she could probably do it
FIONA
R&R, after R&R
Fiona sent a photo.
[Photo: Satoshi, fast asleep in bed, rays of morning sun spilling across his skin.]
xxx
SATOSHI
You should have woken me up!
FIONA
I did, remember? With breakfast.
SATOSHI
Which I promised to make you!
FIONA
Could you stand to wake this boy?
Besides, you work so hard
And then I made you work so hard
SATOSHI
You think that was hard work? You just wait till next time I see you, Fiona Fisher. Someone is going to get worked. Hard.
FIONA
I’ll make sure I stretch beforehand
Seriously, though, you were out like a light last night.
Everything ok?
SATOSHI
Bit chaotic without Birdie, but it’s all under control x
FIONA
If ever you need me to work on Thursdays instead of sitting at the bar like a princess, just say the word x
From: [email protected]
Subject: URGENT – commercial dishwasher repair
Hi,
I’ve called several times today, but to follow up in writing: I’m requesting an urgent repair service for my commercial glasswasher.
It started leaking late yesterday and now no longer functions. My business is a wine bar, so it is imperative this be fixed ASAP. At present, we are washing our stemware by hand.
Best wishes,
Satoshi Tsukamoto
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: URGENT – commercial dishwasher repair
Attached: BPS_callout_fee_schedule.pdf
Dear Tsukamoto,
We have received your request. One of our technicians will be despatched to your location in 5–7 working days.
Please find attached a list of our callout fees.
Kind regards,
Customer Service
BPS Catering Equipment
MS TRAUMA BOND SUPPORT CIRCLE
CARLTON
Thanks for hosting study group today, Satoshi!
That Beechworth chardonnay you got us to blind was *insane*
SATOSHI