Chapter Five #2
Shay flipped Phoenix onto the bed and came down on top of him, cutting Phoenix’s lecture short.
He still had no words, but his heart had a lot to say.
It was long overdue for him to let that organ speak.
He kissed Phoenix and then he didn’t stop.
Phoenix was right. Shay belonged to him.
Everything else could wait. Phoenix owned him, and Shay needed to prove he was worth this second chance.
He had known Phoenix had taken a risk on him, but he hadn’t realized exactly how huge that leap of faith had been.
Shay wouldn’t fail him again. He was terrified as fuck.
“I want to make you feel the way you always make me feel. Baby, I don’t know what I’m doing.
I can’t hurt you the way—” Shay choked on the words.
He hadn’t considered what would happen to his mind if this day ever came.
God knew he would never touch anyone else or let anyone else touch him.
When it came to making love, it was Phoenix or no one.
“It’s okay.” Phoenix whispered the words. He cupped Shay’s face, forcing Shay to hold his stare. “I’m with you. We’re figuring this out together. Okay? There’s no one I trust more than you. We’ll do this the way we’ve always done everything: together.”
Each time Phoenix said “together,” he relaxed a little more.
Phoenix was right. It was them. He turned his head and kissed Phoenix’s wrist. Shay took a deep breath.
Something inside him soothed. He worked to undress Phoenix.
Phoenix’s gaze never wavered from Shay. Trust stared up at him. It was Phoenix. Shay had this.
“I love you.” Shay needed to say the words as he stripped away the last of Phoenix’s clothes.
“I love you too.”
Shay took off his clothes next. The way Phoenix eyed his body had Shay ready to flex. He was too engrossed in the picture Phoenix made to give a damn about anything else.
“You’re beautiful.” Phoenix looked vulnerable as he said the words, as if he expected this would be the part where Shay ran. Absolutely not.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
Phoenix blushed.
Shay shook his head. “Why are you blushing now? I’ve already taken off your clothes.”
A laugh burst from Phoenix at Shay’s question. “You should see the way you’re looking at me, as if I confuse the hell out of you.”
Shay kissed Phoenix’s stomach on the way to his mouth. “I’m not confused. In fact, I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.” When their erections met, Shay fought for his life not to come. He had wanted Phoenix for too long. Their kiss turned heated again.
Shay moved restlessly against Phoenix.
Phoenix moaned.
Shay turned his head and ground his teeth.
He felt dumb as fuck, but he was hanging on by a thread.
Hiding his desire and aching for so long was killing him now.
He hated knowing he was about to disappoint Phoenix again.
He had to stop. Shay slithered down the bed and licked Phoenix’s erection.
He had to take his dick out of the equation.
Of course, he was no more confident about sucking cock than he was when it came to sex.
But he still went down on Phoenix and did his best. The sounds Phoenix made had him ready to pat himself on his back.
When Phoenix came, he did so in complete silence.
Shay had expected the worst memories to hit the moment cum hit his tongue.
Instead, he swallowed. Not only that, but he sought more.
It was Phoenix. He wanted everything with him. Shay was proud to make him fly.
To his surprise, Shay found himself on his back with his dick in Phoenix’s mouth.
It didn’t take much. He had been a man on the edge since he set eyes on Phoenix again.
He couldn’t breathe as the waves overtook him.
Everything vanished but the way Phoenix made him feel.
The ecstasy combined with the obsessive love Shay carried all hours of the day.
He couldn’t stop whining. It wasn’t until Phoenix cuddled in his arms that reality hit him.
“I just thought of something.”
Phoenix stroked Shay’s stomach while using his chest as a pillow. “What’s that?”
“I don’t own lube.”
A bark of laughter burst from Phoenix. “That’s a random thought.”
“No, seriously,” Shay argued. “What was my plan? In no way was I prepared for you.”
Phoenix kissed his chest. “It didn’t end up mattering, but I’m glad you don’t. Maybe I would’ve got lost in my head wondering why you had it. Who was it for? Who else has used it?”
Shay touched Phoenix's chin, urging Phoenix to meet his stare. “I know we kind of touched on this earlier, but let me be extra clear. I’ve never been with anyone else unforced. Not only am I sickeningly in love with you and you’re the only one for me, but you’re also the only person I could mentally handle touching me like this. ”
Phoenix looked so sweet and trusting. He knew Shay. “I know. You’d better know the same.”
He never even had to say that. Shay knew Phoenix. He wouldn’t have come back if he had ever let anyone else close enough to love him. All it would take was one person saner and less damaged than him, and Phoenix would see Shay for the mental case he was.
“I’ll watch some instructional videos of something after I buy some lube.”
Peals of laughter roared from Phoenix.
Shay couldn’t stop smiling at the sight.
God, he was just so in love. There was no way Phoenix could know what a sickness he was for Shay.
He had no idea how he had made it through the last five years.
Shay was fairly certain he wouldn’t even make it a day without him after today.
There was love, and then there was them. He would make Phoenix proud.