Chapter Eight
The sight of Graham and Tobie in their little suits, with one throwing flower petals while the other carried the ring, was the cutest thing Phoenix had ever seen.
It had taken three months to plan the perfect wedding.
Twelve weeks of whirlwind days. While they had dove headfirst into parenting, the family counseling Zander had arranged for them helped quite a bit.
Every day, he had watched the boys turn a little more back to just being children. He was so in love with this family.
Standing face to face, exchanging their vows, Phoenix fought the urge to cry.
They were already married, but it didn’t matter.
Shay stood in front of a huge crowd and pledged his love and life to Phoenix.
He looked sexy with his suit fighting his muscles.
It was almost funny the way Phoenix rarely thought about Shay’s looks at all.
They had spent too many years together. All Phoenix saw these days was the man he loved with a scary level of depth.
No words could describe what lived inside him.
Shay kissed him, and cheers went up around them.
There was a teenage boy inside of Phoenix absolutely dying that Shay Armstrong had kissed him in front of everyone.
Something inside him healed. As dumb as he felt about his all-over-the-place emotions, there had been the tiniest of voices whispering Shay would freak and it would kill Phoenix.
Some old wounds were too deep for reason to reach.
They each grabbed a boy’s hand and walked back down the aisle with them the moment they were set free.
They squealed and jumped as bubbles were blown their way.
The happiness and excitement written on their faces were everything.
The joy was so thick, Phoenix felt like everything happened around him and not to him.
Like he watched his life through someone else’s eyes.
Everything felt too amazing for him to absorb it all at once.
As the table came into view and Phoenix saw the cake that matched that worn magazine image, reality slammed into him.
“Chef Hugh gave me a cooking magazine. It has all kinds of pictures of food. There’re recipes.
” There was no missing the excitement in his voice.
Phoenix heard it but couldn’t reel in his emotions.
Just as Phoenix had known he would, Shay pretended to be interested in the pages Phoenix showed him.
He flipped the page, and a tall white cake with silver decorations and light pink flowers caught Phoenix’s attention, making his eyes widen.
“Look at that cake. Wow! It’s huge. It’s so pretty.”
Shay eyed the image. “That’s a wedding cake. People like to shove it in each other’s faces after their wedding or something like that.”
Phoenix couldn’t stop staring at the cake.
An unexpected wave of fear and sadness overwhelmed him.
He realized they would grow up and Shay would get married someday.
Phoenix would be left behind. His eyes filled with tears.
He couldn’t help it. Phoenix hyperventilated before he could stop it.
He fought for air. The magazine fell from his numb fingers.
Shay’s eyes were inches from him with no recollection of how he had ended up there. He held Phoenix’s face.
“Breathe, Phoenix. I have you. Just look at me and breathe.” He demonstrated breathing in and out.
Phoenix followed his lead. The panic didn’t subside. “You’ll get married someday and I’ll be left all alone.”
Shay’s nose curled. “I’m not getting married.”
Phoenix nodded. “You will. You’re very pretty.”
Shay rolled his eyes. “Boys aren’t pretty.”
Phoenix cried harder. Shay didn’t believe him. It would happen. Shay would be gone.
Something passed over Shay’s features when more tears fell, and Phoenix’s breathing went shaky again.
Shay picked up the magazine and ripped out the image of the cake.
“Look. I’ll put it in my pocket. You don’t have to worry.
I’m not leaving you. When we’re old enough, I’ll marry you and you can make our cake.
You don’t have to worry I’ll ever leave you. ”
An unexpected laugh bubbled in Phoenix’s throat. “You can’t marry me. I’m a boy.”
Shay’s face was set in a hard line. With that one look, Phoenix knew Shay had made up his mind. “Boys do marry each other. So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll marry you and you’ll never be alone. We’re a set. I’m not leaving you.”
Phoenix nodded. He believed. Shay always told the truth. “Okay.” He wiped his cheeks. “Don’t lose that picture. I promise I’ll make it for you.”
Shay smiled. “Okay. Deal.”
Tears spilled down Phoenix’s cheeks. Chef Hugh had ended up making the cake, refusing to allow Phoenix to make his own wedding cake. It was beautiful.
Shay looked his way. He squeezed Phoenix’s hand. “Look at me.” Phoenix stared into his eyes. Shay smiled. “Just breathe. I’ve got you.”
He did, and life had never looked more beautiful.
While their boys were doing amazing, considering everything they had been through, they still had some separation anxiety issues.
After everyone had cake smashed in their faces and all the gifts were unwrapped, Yaro and his husbands took the kids for the night to give them some alone time for their wedding night.
Tomorrow, they planned to leave for their honeymoon, but Graham and Tobie would be with them.
No amount of travel was worth setting back their progress.
They had a good seventy years of anniversaries ahead of them to have another chance to be completely alone.
But tonight, Shay had Phoenix all to himself and planned to savor every second.
The way Phoenix wrapped his arms around Shay’s neck and held his stare as Shay carried him over the threshold made Shay’s chest swell. Not once in their lives had Shay seen Phoenix look at anyone else the way he watched Shay.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Phoenix looked away and went back to studying.
For some reason Shay couldn’t explain, that irritated the fuck out of him. “I didn’t say you had to stop. It was just a question. You’re supposed to be studying for finals.”
Phoenix didn’t look his way, but he smiled.
The curve of his cheek caught and held Shay’s attention.
He couldn’t focus on anything else. Phoenix turned his head and caught Shay staring.
Their gazes met and held. Shay couldn’t tear his eyes away, nor did he try.
He had always loved the color of Phoenix’s eyes.
They were a unique gray that captured him.
“Now who’s staring?”
A smile exploded across Shay’s face. “Still you.” The laughter in his voice couldn’t be missed. No one made him happier than Phoenix. Definitely no one understood him other than Phoenix.
Phoenix lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “Like I’ve said a million times. You’re beautiful. You’re a thousand percent better to look at than these boring-ass notes I’ve read a hundred times.”
Shay ignored the part about him being beautiful. That was just Phoenix. He was a good person who enjoyed brightening other people’s days.
“You should turn out the lights.”
Shay’s stomach clenched at Phoenix’s suggestion.
He knew that tone. He had heard it a few times in the dark.
This was the first time Phoenix faced him in the light, daring him to say he liked Phoenix’s mouth on his dick.
He was already hard, but Shay couldn’t do it.
When he looked into Phoenix’s eyes, Shay knew he was no better than the people who had abused him.
He hated himself for what Phoenix made him feel. Phoenix deserved better than this.
Things were different now. He had still been right back then.
Phoenix did deserve better, and Shay was ready to give that to him.
Thus far, Shay still hadn’t forced his brain to try penetration.
He was ready now. Just as he had told Phoenix he would, Shay had watched a few instructional videos.
He had studied that shit. Shay needed Phoenix to feel as good as he knew Phoenix would make him feel.
He set Phoenix on his feet.
Phoenix stripped on his way to the bathroom.
Shay stood still as he watched each layer fall away until Phoenix’s sexy nude ass disappeared.
The moment Shay’s gaze was set free, he scrambled out of his clothes, grabbed the lube, and followed.
The shower was already going, and Phoenix stood beneath the deluge.
Shay didn’t waste time. He barged into the wet room and snatched Phoenix into his arms. His mouth came down on Phoenix’s hard.
Their tongues battled while Shay blindly backed Phoenix up enough he could lube his fingers without it immediately getting washed away.
The second he could, Shay dropped the tube and went to work.
Phoenix moaned as Shay slid one finger into his asshole. He mimicked what he had watched and went for the prostate. He knew exactly when he hit it. Phoenix made a sound that had Shay leaking pre-cum. He massaged until he couldn’t take the pounding need to fuck Phoenix for another second.
Shay took Phoenix’s hand and headed for the bench built into the wall.
He grabbed the lube from the shower floor on the way.
Shay sat and held Phoenix’s stare as he wet his cock.
“If I hurt you at all, you have to promise you’ll tell me to stop, okay?
Don’t push through because you think it’s what I want. I just want you.”
“Okay.” Phoenix’s answer was soft, but there was a nervousness in his voice.
Shay slid down slightly to make it easier for Phoenix to straddle him. “Go at your own pace.”
His breathing turned ragged the second Phoenix obeyed. Shay never tired of the sensation or the way Phoenix’s skin felt against him. They were definitely a case of two halves coming together to make a whole.
“You should see the way you’re looking at me.”
Shay knew exactly what Phoenix meant. There was so much obsessive love bursting from Shay, there was no way every emotion he felt didn’t show on his face. “I want you to look at me and know you’re everything to me.”
Phoenix lowered himself onto Shay’s erection. His expression was like he had reached heaven. A pant so sexy the sound almost sent him flying fell from Phoenix’s perfect lips. “You’re not the only one who’s been practicing.”
The words mixed with the way Phoenix felt on his dick and his aroused expression had Shay flying to his feet.
He pinned Phoenix against the shower wall and fucked him.
Shay wanted to claim they made love. That he was gentle, and it was a magical experience.
It was spellbinding, but there was nothing sweet about the way Shay used Phoenix’s body.
He had never felt the way he did inside Phoenix.
Shay couldn’t get enough. He couldn’t slow down.
Phoenix’s short nails dug into Shay’s skin, and he mewled, driving Shay to completely take him.
Pressure climbed his shaft. He clenched his teeth.
Phoenix stared at him, looking transfixed. “Damn, Shay. You look sexy as fuck right now. Do it. I want to feel your cum dripping from me.”
Holy shit. Phoenix had never really dirty-talked with him. He used wicked expressions to heighten Shay’s lust, but this was different. There was no way Shay could hold on until Phoenix blew, but he seriously wanted to please Phoenix.
“Play with yourself.”
Phoenix didn’t even blush as did exactly that. He stroked his cock while Shay stared down at the space between their bodies. Shay shouldn’t have done that. His orgasm got closer than he wanted.
“I’m not going to make it.” Even Shay heard the desperation in his voice.
Phoenix stroked faster.
Shay couldn’t do it. He blew so hard, he couldn’t breathe.
The air simply froze in his lungs. His head spun.
Phoenix cried out and his body convulsed.
Shay thought he might be permanently damaged from the power of his orgasm.
There was no way he would walk away from this the same man.
The sounds he made might have been embarrassing if he had even a modicum of sense left.
Phoenix stole everything from him. He rambled about how much he loved Phoenix.
By the time the last wave passed, he had his tongue swirling around in Phoenix’s mouth, trying to assuage his desperation.
Phoenix couldn’t know. There was no way he could possibly understand the crazed way he made Shay feel.
Reality slapped him hard enough to rock him on his heels.
He had kept his vow to marry Phoenix. Maybe he hadn’t known back then that he would feel like this, but he hadn’t let Phoenix down.
Tears mixed with the water pounding down on them.
They had made it. The strength they had together had carried them into this flawless life.
That strength would continue to uplift them until death parted them.