41. Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-One
Cillian strode along the beach, trying not to think of May and her harsh words that morning. What could she possibly understand of the pressure he was under? How it was his whole life, his dreams, he was trying to salvage. His indignation had been brewing all day.
‘How did it go with May?’ asked Kitty when Cillian reached her.
‘Not great.’ He grimaced, changed the topic. ‘How was work?’
‘A long day,’ said Kitty. ‘This good weather would be lovely if it didn’t mean the children were hot and sticky, which makes them grumpy and argumentative. I could sleep for weeks.’
‘We can go back to the cottage if you like?’
‘No.’ Kitty gazed towards the slick black rocks exposed by the departing tide, and smiled at a group of children building castles in the soft sand. ‘Fresh air is what I need. And given you’re about to leave Saffron Bay, I’d like to spend every moment with you I can.’
‘I’ll be back for the wedding,’ said Cillian, hiding his guilt by studying a group of kayakers preparing to launch their crafts at the water’s edge.
‘You’ll be back for the day, yes. And it will be lovely to have you there.’ Kitty shrugged. ‘Then you’ll be gone again, and it could be years till I see you if the past is anything to go by.’
‘A bit of an exaggeration,’ protested Cillian.
Kitty gave him a sad smile. ‘Shall we walk for a bit? I thought we could go along the beach to join the coast path. I should have taken you up there sooner, as the views are incredible.’
‘Sure.’ Cillian placed an arm around his sister as they made their way to where gentle waves lapped against the shore. ‘I’ll miss it here. It’s been amazing to spend time as a normal human being.’ Until he was rudely reminded he wasn’t.
They climbed over exposed rocks without speaking.
A few times, one of them stumbled and instinctively reached for the other’s hand.
It reminded Cillian of when they were children, escaping the city for their annual caravan holiday at Brittas Bay.
Even as they grew out of their childish games, they’d remained thick as thieves, sneaking out of the bathroom window at night to nurse newly formed friendships and holiday romances.
‘I miss you,’ said Cillian, taking himself by surprise as much as Kitty.
‘You miss me?’ Kitty smiled at him across a wet boulder.
‘I miss being part of your life. I miss the closeness we once had.’
Kitty’s smile saddened. ‘Yet you’re still leaving.’
‘You know why I have to.’
Kitty nodded, splaying out her arms as she navigated a challenging patch of rock. ‘The coast path is just up there. Come on.’
Once again, silence descended as they left the beach and joined the narrow path flanked by hedgerows and wildflowers in full bloom.
‘I was wondering,’ said Cillian once they had stopped to admire the sweeping views of Saffron Bay, ‘if I should hire a wedding planner for you?’
Kitty gave him a sideways look. ‘You mentioned that before, and the answer is still no.’
‘Do you really think May’s up to the job?’ Her abrupt dismissal this morning rankled again. ‘She strikes me as emotionally unstable, and if even half of what was written about her in the papers is true—’
Kitty spun around, her cheeks glowing, her red hair framing her face like a wild halo. Her eyes glinted, and not with amusement. ‘Don’t you dare talk about May like that,’ she hissed. ‘You, of all people, shouldn’t believe what you read in those pathetic excuses for newspapers.’
Cillian quailed under this sudden onslaught. ‘Sorry.’
‘And so you should be.’ Kitty poked him in the chest. ‘You’re trying to make yourself feel better about all you’ve done by shifting the blame to May, and I won’t hear it, Cillian, I won’t.
’ She crossed her arms, a sad, fierce look appearing in her eyes.
‘Goodness knows what happened while she was at uni, but I know May, and I know what a good person she is.’ The look snapped back to Cillian, losing the sadness.
‘Besides, what pedestal do you think you’re standing on to judge her?
You’re the one with a fiancée, not her.’
Cillian tried to backpedal. ‘That may all be true …’
‘It is.’
‘Fine.’ He tried another tack. ‘That still doesn’t mean she’s capable of organising a wedding by herself.’
‘Firstly,’ said Kitty, jabbing her finger into Cillian’s chest again, ‘she wouldn’t have to be organising it herself if you weren’t running out on us all.
Secondly, she won’t be by herself, the village will rally, and we’ll do it together.
’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, May got into Cambridge University, Cillian. Whatever happened while she was there, she stuck out the best part of three years, and that says a lot about not only her intelligence but her strength of character.’ Kitty shook her head.
‘Institutions like that can break a person, they’re tough environments.
It’s not all privilege and parties. You have to be strong to make it, and May made it a lot longer than lots of people do. ’
Cillian’s defences collapsed under this tirade. ‘Point taken,’ he said. ‘And you’re right as usual.’
‘About what in particular?’ Kitty wasn’t going to let him off easily.
‘My character assassination of May,’ Cillian confessed, now feeling an absolute heel. ‘You’re right that it was my way of trying to make myself feel better about what a total arsehole I’ve been.’ He pushed back his hair, caught and held his sister’s softening look. ‘I really am sorry, Kitty.’
Kitty sighed and pulled her brother into her arms. ‘I believe you,’ she said. ‘Don’t let it happen again.’ She rubbed his back like he was one of her students upset over their naughtiness, and let him go. ‘When are you setting off?’
‘First thing in the morning. Brian’s arranged for a car to pick me up.’
‘Come on then, let’s finish this walk. Nick suggested meeting for a goodbye drink later, if you fancy it?’
‘Sounds great, now the press have temporarily lost interest and decamped to London, it’s good to get out a bit more.’
‘According to Rita, there are a few fans staying at the pub. It’s OK though, she’ll let us have the back room so we can have a drink in peace.’
‘Even better.’ Cillian touched Kitty’s arm. ‘Thank you for being so patient with me. I’ve not made things easy for you. I was meant to come here to help, and all I’ve done is bring trouble to your door.’
‘Isn’t that what little brothers are for?’ Kitty linked arms with him. ‘Now, come on, let’s walk.’