Chapter 15
The Intervention
Ava didn’t know how long she’d spent curled up on her dad’s bed, clutching his pillow to catch her tears. It could’ve been hours or minutes, she couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that she’d opened that tightly packed box of her emotions and now the long-ignored feelings consumed her entirely.
It said a lot about her mental state that when the bed dipped from the weight of someone joining her, she wasn’t even worried. Why worry? It’s not like anything mattered.
“Oh, Birdie.”
At Summer’s voice, Ava broke into a fresh wave of tears.
Part relief, part embarrassment at being caught in her current state.
Summer said nothing as she curled up behind Ava, wrapping her arms around her.
Ava grabbed Summer’s arm like a lifeline and relaxed against her friend, letting Summer take on the slightest bit of the heaviness that clouded her mind.
“How’d you get in here?”
Summer shrugged, her shoulder pressing into Ava’s back from the movement.
“Key’s still in the same place. Under the decoy loon on the porch. You should probably change that so people can’t break in so easily.”
Ava snorted and shook her head. “Owen sent you, didn’t he?”
Summer shrugged again. “Yeah. He let me inside.”
She closed her eyes, giving into the urge to just sleep. In her sleep, she could get a reprieve from the hollow ache in her chest. When she dreamed, she didn’t have to feel anything.
Summer remained quiet, not intruding but lending her company. And for Ava, that was enough.
When her shoulder grew numb and her back ached from laying down so long, Ava sat up. She gathered her hair into an elastic tie and rubbed at her eyes to clear the last of her tears. Her face felt puffy and overheated, swollen from crying.
Summer sat up with her, rearranging to sit cross-legged against the headboard.
“Owen told me about your dad’s ashes,” Summer broke the silence.
The reminder sent a wave of guilt through her. Guilt for so many things she’d been running from. Things she’d refused to cry about or even think about for years, instead choosing to ignore them to avoid the discomfort of facing them head on.
“I don’t know why he’s so nice to me. I broke his fucking heart, and he still looks out for me.
And why? I don’t deserve it. I was a shitty girlfriend and an even shittier daughter.
Who doesn’t visit their dad for a decade?
Me, apparently. And he died alone, unexpectedly, with no one he loved surrounding him. And that’s on me.”
Summer rubbed her back but said nothing. What could she say that would make it better? Nothing, in Ava’s mind. Nothing she would listen to. Not right now.
They sat like that, Summer allowing her to process and wrangle her thoughts into some semblance of order, not pushing or prodding or reassuring, but simply being with her.
When the guilt and the hurt became bearable, and Ava felt certain she wouldn’t cry any more, she once again felt around for her phone, assuming it was somewhere in the bed with her.
“What time is it?”
“Almost nine.”
Ava patted the bedspread and under the pillow, feeling around for her phone. After a half-hearted search, she gave up. It didn’t matter, anyway.
“Uh, it’s almost nine in the morning. Pretty sure you were out of it all night. Owen stayed until I could come over after teaching my sunrise yoga class this morning.”
Ava reared back in shock.
Owen stayed?
Ava looked down at her wrinkled shirt and leggings covered in fuzz from the fleece blanket she’d curled under. She was sure her face and hair looked even more rumpled. An unpleasant coppery tang filled her mouth, and breathing through her nose was nearly impossible.
“I should probably shower,” she said after taking stock of herself.
Summer glanced at her watch.
“A hot shower cures all. Plus, we have to pick up Morgan in about an hour, so we need to get moving. You can cry more in the shower as long as you wash your face while you’re at it.”
Summer stood up from the bed and held a hand out to Ava to help her up.
“Morgan, like my Morgan? In New York?”
Had she forgotten about a visit from her friend? She could admit her brain felt scattered at the moment, but surely, she would’ve remembered something like that.
“Yes, your Morgan. Figured I needed reinforcements, so you get both of your besties to pull you out of your depressive funk. You’re lucky I love you enough to put up with her,” Summer said.
Ava took the offered hand and scooted out of the bed. Overwhelming affection swelled in her. The whiplash from grief to guilt to appreciation was disorienting, like she was watching someone else go through her motions.
“Thanks, Summer. I don’t deserve your friendship,” Ava said.
Summer wrapped her in a tight hug, resting her chin against the side of Ava’s head, so close Ava could feel Summer’s jaw moving when she spoke next.
“You deserve the world, Birdie. Eventually you’ll realize that.”
“So, this is the box? It seems so … small.”
Morgan lifted the cardboard box off the table to test its weight. The blue box with a lid that the ashes sat inside was no larger than a piece of paper. She agreed with Morgan’s sentiment. It seemed small for a man so large.
Summer gently took the box out of Morgan’s hands and cradled it. “Maybe don’t pick up people’s ashes without asking,” Summer said.
“I know you didn’t just snatch that out of my hands.” Morgan raised her dark brows at Summer.
Ava sighed inwardly. The two of them had played nice on the ride back from the airport to the cabin. Who knew unboxing her dad’s ashes would be the thing to trip up the peace? She held her hands out to Summer for the box, removing it from both of them.
“It does seem small. That was the first thing I thought when I got the box yesterday,” Ava said, ignoring their bickering.
She placed the box back down, adjusting it a few times when it seemed crooked against the grain of the tabletop. Once satisfied, she looked up at her friends just in time to catch the look Morgan and Summer exchanged.
“What’s that look for?”
“Nothing,” Morgan said. She shook her head in emphasis, making her tightly coiled dark curls bounce. “Nothing at all.”
Ava glanced at Summer, knowing she’d break.
“We’re a little worried about you is all,” Summer said.
“More than a little,” Morgan muttered.
Ava sighed at the inevitable conversation she was about to have with her two best friends. She must appear worse than she thought for the two of them to be in agreement about something. Summer thought Morgan was pretentious. Morgan thought Summer was too much.
“If you’re about to team up against me, then let’s at least sit down.”
“I’m going to make us all coffee first. Be right in there,” Summer said.
Ava led Morgan into the living room that was far less cluttered than it had been when she first arrived.
Gone were the knickknacks, old magazines, piles of quilted blankets, and many books.
She’d cleared the dust, cleaned the hardwood floors, and emptied the closets in both the living room and back hallway.
Owen repaired the stairs so well, she could’ve sworn it was never broken at all.
The progress didn’t escape Ava as she directed Morgan to the worn plaid couch she’d eventually have to find another home for.
Morgan grimaced at the state of the couch, or maybe it was the scratchy material of the fabric and perched on the edge of the seat. Ava curled up against the far arm, placing one of the needlepoint pillows into her lap to hug.
“You weren’t kidding when you said your dad lived in a cabin in the woods,” Morgan said. Ava watched as Morgan scanned the living room from floor to ceiling. She didn’t appear impressed by what she saw.
“Not the bougie luxury cabin you were expecting, huh?”
“Definitely not. It’d freak me out being so isolated,” Morgan said with a shiver. “I’m more of a glamping kind of gal.”
“Don’t let Summer hear you talk about glamping. We’d never hear the end of it,” Ava said.
Morgan rolled her eyes. “So clearly you didn’t listen to my advice to take care of yourself. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here right now. Let me guess, you’ve been working off the clock and working on this place nonstop. You’re probably still getting up each morning at six. Am I right?”
Ava looked away from Morgan’s accusing stare. “I don’t get up at six every morning,” she muttered.
“That’s all you took from that? And the rest?”
Ava blinked back the tears threatening to resurface. She thought she’d cried it all out of her system. How could there be anything left?
“I don’t know how to deal with this any other way. Tell me, Morgan, what do I do? How do I do this? Because I don’t know,” Ava pleaded. The tears she tried to ignore, much like her grief, blurred her vision.
Morgan moved closer and placed a warm hand on Ava’s back. The touch and the comforting scent of Morgan’s shea butter lotion grounded her.
“I don’t know either, babe. But shouldering this all alone is not the way. There’s a reason you have us. And your family.”
“She’s right.” Summer walked into the living room from the back hallway, three mugs of coffee balanced between her hands. She placed them on the scuffed-up coffee table and perched on the arm of the couch on the other side of Ava.
“I thought lending you help would be enough, but you’re still working too hard and not allowing yourself to process. I think it’s time to have your brothers step up,” Summer said.
Morgan nodded. Ava suspected the two of them had discussed this ahead of time. Of course, the only time they worked together was against her. Well, for her, but it still felt like an ambush.
“You have two brothers, right? At least one of them can make the time to come up here, even if only for a few days. He was their dad, too,” Morgan said. “We’re here for you, but we can only do so much. At least your brothers can relate to what you’re going through.”
Ava leaned forward to grab one mug, sipping on the warm coffee to give herself a moment.
Their suggestion made sense, and Noah had promised to help when his contract finished, but they never decided on dates.
Lucas likely wouldn’t come, even though she could really use his help to go through the administrative side of their dad’s affairs.
She hadn’t even looked into his bank accounts.
Morgan and Summer remained silent on either side of her, but she could feel the weight of their exchanged glances behind her back. If the two of them truly were on the same page about this, then it was hard to deny they might have a point.
“I think you’re right. I’ll talk to them,” Ava conceded.
Summer beamed and tugged Ava into a hug, which really just smooshed Ava’s face against her boobs.
“Great idea,” Morgan said brightly. “We also need to talk about getting you into therapy, but one step at a time.”