Chapter 30
As she pulled away from the kerb, Ellie forced herself to focus on the road ahead.
Meadowfield was quiet this evening, and for that she was grateful.
The last thing she needed right now was to have to try to avoid the village cycle club or the running group racing across the road.
No, she had enough thoughts going through her mind right now.
Her mum had forced Murray away. He’d gone because of what she’d said.
Yes, Kathy hadn’t meant for that to be the outcome of their conversation, but it had been.
There was no escaping the fact that if her mum hadn’t shown up, if she hadn’t spoken to Murray, then he’d still be here.
Right now, he’d be in her cottage, sharing a takeaway, and they’d be chatting.
Right now. Instead, she felt as though, once again, her whole world had shifted.
Once again, he’d abandoned her. Left her.
And what was worse was that he’d left this time for no reason.
He wasn’t planning a trip overseas in a bid to rescue a family member’s business, he wasn’t putting his half-brothers’ well-being before his own and subsequently hers.
He’d just left because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her again.
Pulling up the hem of her T-shirt, she dried the tears which had begun falling again. He’d left for no reason. It could all have been avoided. And by leaving her, he’d done the very thing he’d been trying not to which was to hurt her.
None of it made any sense. Nothing made any sense anymore.
Flicking her indicator on, she began to turn the corner, slamming her brakes on as a large fluffy white cloud appeared in the road.
With the car stopping inches from Claudette, Ellie gripped the steering wheel, half-expecting for the airbag to go off.
When it didn’t, she relaxed her shoulders and slowly opened the door and got out.
Claudette had been rounded up after the village meeting, she was sure she had, so what was the sheep doing standing nonchalantly in the middle of the road?
‘Ellie! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?’
Turning, she watched as Nicola jogged down the street towards her, Claudette running in the opposite direction as soon as she spotted her. ‘I think so.’
‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw your car coming round the corner. I really thought that was the end for poor Claudette.’ Reaching her, Nicola gripped her by the shoulders and looked her up and down. ‘You’re really okay? No whiplash or anything?’
‘Nope, I’m fine.’ Ellie shook her head, grateful when her hair settled in a fashion that covered half her face and hopefully her tear-stained and puffy cheeks. ‘I just wasn’t expecting to turn the corner and find a sheep in the road.’
‘Oh, I know. The little minx escaped again, and I’ve been tracking her ever since. Charlie’s on his way as we speak.’ Letting go of Ellie’s shoulders, Nicola glanced around. ‘I’ve lost her again.’
‘Umm…’ Spinning around, Ellie pointed to a splodge of white disappearing inside a garden.
‘Phew! Thank you.’ Nicola raced off towards the sheep, making sure to slow to a walk before she reached her.
Standing in the middle of the road, Ellie glanced from her car, which she’d abandoned halfway around the corner, to Nicola, who was slowly approaching Claudette.
Should she help? Whether she chose to or not, she couldn’t just leave her car where it was.
If someone drove up behind her, they might not see her little Ford Fiesta in time to stop before ploughing into the back of it.
Retreating to her car, she started the ignition again and pulled forward, slowing to a stop a few metres behind where she’d pointed Claudette out to Nicola.
Getting out of the car again, she walked quickly towards the garden she’d seen Claudette vanish into.
Pausing, she looked around. There was no sign of Nicola or the runaway sheep.
Ellie shielded her eyes from the setting sun and looked up and down the road. Nope, nothing. Nicola must have secured Claudette somewhere to wait for Charlie, or else herded her into the next street to his waiting truck. Either way, both the sheep and Nicola were gone.
Back inside her car, Ellie lowered her forehead to the steering wheel. What was she supposed to do now? Just go home? Go back to her little cottage and get on with her life? Try to forget that Murray had reappeared in her life a short time ago only to disappear just as rapidly?
Maybe that would be the best thing, to just put the whole failed fledgling romance out of her mind, to pretend it hadn’t existed, to pretend she hadn’t felt that connection, that spark with Murray again.
Taking a deep breath in, she sighed heavily. She’d done it before. She’d got over him before, so she’d be able to do it again. She would. She just needed to…
Who was she kidding? It wasn’t that easy.
He’d come into her life again, and she’d immediately believed they were meant to be, their relationship was meant to be.
It wouldn’t be that easy to just forget about him again.
It wouldn’t be that easy to convince herself she hadn’t just lost the love of her life, her soulmate, for the second time around.
Rubbing the heels of her hands across her eyes, she started the ignition. Home. That’s where she wanted to be right now. That’s where she needed to be. Curled up on her squishy sofa in her little cottage, in her little corner of Meadowfield.
As she drove the short distance, she kept her eyes fixed on the road, mindful that at any point Claudette might make a reappearance.
After pulling up in front of her cottage, she got out of the car, keeping her fingers crossed Mrs Jedd hadn’t seen her arrive. The gnome’s nose could wait further inspection.
As Ellie hurried to the gate, she kept one eye on Mrs Jedd’s cottage, sure she’d just seen the net curtains twitch. Please don’t come after me, not today.
Closing the gate behind her, Ellie ducked her head as she pulled her mobile from her pocket again. Still nothing. How could Murray have left without a word, without so much as a message?
‘Eleanor.’
It was quiet, the word, her name. Barely a whisper, but she recognised the voice. She knew who had uttered it. Spinning slowly on the spot, she turned towards the front door and there, sitting on the front step, hugging a huge fluffy sheep, was Murray.
In one instant, her heart leapt, in the next, an overwhelming fear encompassed her. Stepping forward, she watched as Murray held out his hand, palm forward, and she paused again.
‘Just come down the path slowly. This one seems particularly jumpy right now.’ Murray gave a tiny, nervous smile.
Nodding, Ellie squashed the urge to run to him and instead inched her way down the path, keeping one eye on Claudette and one on Murray, unsure of who may choose to bolt first.
As she reached them, Murray put his hand out towards her. Taking it tentatively, she allowed him to guide her towards the step next to him and lowered herself onto the cool concrete. ‘I thought you’d left without saying goodbye.’
Keeping one hand on Claudette, Murray held his arm out towards her.
‘I’m sorry, Eleanor.’
Sliding across the step, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he lowered his arm around hers.
‘My mum told me she spoke to you.’ She swiped at the fresh tears running down her cheeks.
Was she supposed to be grateful that he’d swung by to say goodbye?
She’d hated the fact he’d left without so much as a text, but this, him being here, holding her like this, was this really a kinder goodbye?
Perhaps she should have been grateful when she’d thought he’d just upped and left.
‘She did.’ Briefly lifting his arm from her shoulder, he ran his palm over his face. ‘I didn’t realise how much I hurt you before. When I left…’
She closed her eyes and braced herself.
‘When I left before, I was so wrapped up in what I’d lost, what I had to do, what was expected of me, I guess I didn’t realise how much it had affected you too. And I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want to ever put you in that position again.’
‘I know. So, you were going to just leave without saying goodbye. You were going to leave before things had the chance to get serious between us again,’ she whispered.
‘Yes. I packed up my workshop, told Laura and Jackson I couldn’t finish their job. I just couldn’t bear thinking about how much I’d hurt you before, and I had to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. I couldn’t let it happen again.’ His voice cracked. ‘I’d never have forgiven myself.’
She nodded, her cheek still against the fabric of his shirt.
She could smell the familiar aroma of his aftershave mixed with the fresh pine from his workshop.
She could hardly breathe. The need to pull away and end the embrace, to stop prolonging the inevitable pain, fought against her desire to stay in his arms for as long as she possibly could and to savour the last few moments she would share with him, for as long as possible.
‘And then, as I was driving away, I realised I was too late.’
Ellie glanced up at him. Too late for what? Too late to end things with a simple text?
‘I realised things had already got serious between us and that if I just upped and left, I wouldn’t just be hurting myself, I’d be hurting you too. Again.’
Looking at her hands, she picked at the cuticles on her forefinger, hardly daring to breathe. What was he saying? What was he trying to tell her? ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, I want to be with you. I want to stay here in Meadowfield with you. You’re the reason I moved here, and I want to make Meadowfield my home. I want to make you my home.’ He cleared his throat. ‘If you’ll have me?’
Focusing on her hands, she held her breath. Was he really saying what she thought he was? ‘Do you mean…?’
‘I mean, I love you, Eleanor Newton, and I want to build a life with you.’
She twisted on the step and looked into his eyes. ‘Do you really mean that?’
‘Yes, I really mean it. All of it. And I haven’t been one hundred per cent sure of anything before, not as much as I am now. We’ve wasted too many years being apart, and I don’t want to waste another single second.’
‘I don’t either.’ Letting out a laugh, she clamped her hand over her mouth as Claudette shifted position, freeing herself from Murray’s grasp.
‘Claudette, there you are! You naughty little thing!’ Nicola’s voice filled the air as Claudette ran down the garden path into her arms. ‘Thanks, Murray. Thanks, Ellie.’
Tearing his eyes from her, Murray called towards Nicola. ‘Do you need a hand?’
‘No, I’m fine, thanks. Charlie’s here now.’ Nicola and Claudette disappeared from view, the warm summer evening filling with the gentle birdsong from the birds flittering between the cottage gardens.
Standing up, Murray held out his hands towards Ellie.
Placing her hands in his, Ellie let herself be pulled to standing. ‘I love you too, Murray.’ Feeling his arms envelope her body, Ellie allowed herself to believe again. She allowed herself to believe in Murray, to believe in a future with him and to believe that true love could exist.