Chapter 36 #2
Not the best you could or a good job—a great job. As soon as the satisfaction settled in her chest, it sank. Would he compliment her if he knew what she wasn’t saying? If he knew Mercy had slipped by her and spent an entire night out on her own doing who knew what?
She returned to slicing. “Did missing it drive you nuts?”
“I knew the kids were in good hands.”
Another compliment. Blaze sniffed and wiped her wrist over her watering eyes. The onions stung, but knowing how little she deserved his approval hurt worse.
“Here. Let me.” He took the knife from her. His hand on her waist guided her away from the cutting board. By the time her eyes cleared, he’d cut the whole onion.
She washed her hands, then picked up where he’d left off with the sweet potatoes.
“I went to the community center.” His knife scraped against the cutting board as he swept the onions onto the waiting pan. “The Newsome boys showed up.”
“Speaking of things Eric might complain about.”
“They said their mom knew where they were. I think something’s going on with them that they’re not saying.”
“With Eric and Samantha?”
“With the boys.” He rinsed the knife, then dried his hands. “I told you about Dylan acting weird when he caught up with me after practice that one day.”
“He said it was because he and Carter sent you a text from Eric’s phone.”
He picked up the sweet potato. “Does this get sliced too?” When she nodded, he returned to the cutting board.
“Now they say the inspector believes the fire originated from the Christmas Eve candles. Someone lit them in the sanctuary. I don’t doubt Eric would talk about that in their earshot, but the boys have been in the thick of it since the night of the fire.
And Dylan called his dad a bully tonight. ”
She paused peeling. Even his family would say such a thing? What was Eric like to live with?
Anson dropped the sliced sweet potato in the pan, turned toward her, and waited until she met his solemn blue eyes. “I told them about Gury, hoping they’d believe me that some secrets do more harm than good. They were stunned, but not into talking.”
She gaped. “You told them?”
“I’ve thought a lot about what you said.
” He stepped nearer, taking the peeler from her hand so he could intertwine their fingers.
“About how I shouldn’t keep him a secret.
I’m going to start talking about him more in general, and when and where God calls me to, I’ll tell the part about the secret I kept for him.
The time seemed right with Carter and Dylan. ”
Could he possibly understand what a compliment it was that he’d listened to her? She’d only made the suggestion to keep the focus off herself and her secret.
“I was hoping they’d spill whatever they’re hiding.” His thumb caressed the side of her hand. “Carter actually looked like he might, but Dylan got antsy and insisted they had to go.”
She still held the potato in her left hand. A sane person would put it down to concentrate on this vulnerable, caring man sharing his heart. Her grip around the vegetable tightened, and she resisted turning fully toward him. “Who do you think is hiding something?”
“Both. But who has more at stake? Hard to say.” He released her hand and returned to the cutting board with another potato. “Dylan acts suspiciously, but I don’t imagine Carter would come see me for nothing. He might’ve been along to make sure Dylan didn’t blurt out anything incriminating.”
That sounded like her watching over Mercy. “What are you going to do?” Her voice sounded shrill. She picked up the peeler and worked quickly, hoping the noise of it might distract from her tone.
“Wait and see if being honest with them prompts them to be honest with me.”
“And if they had something to do with the fire?”
“I’ll help them with the consequences.”
The potato she’d been peeling slipped from her fingers. “Meaning what? You’d report them?”
“There’s an ongoing investigation.” A hint of incredulity rang in his tone. “Everyone needs answers. And I don’t like the hints they’ve been dropping about Eric. Depending on what they have to say when the whole story comes out, child services might have to get involved.”
She laid the last potato on the counter between them and braced her hands on the surface, keeping her face turned down and away. “I’m not sure I have so much faith in the system.”
She heard the rustle of him move, but he didn’t touch her. “Why not? I thought your experience in foster care was okay.”
“I was still separated from my mom, and I missed home every day. When Mom got me back, nothing much had changed except she made it very clear there were things we couldn’t talk about because we needed each other, but if people knew about our lives, they’d separate us.”
“She never should’ve put you in that position. It’s never good when an adult asks a kid to keep a secret.”
Her breath rushed out, and tears flushed her eyes. Had she become her mother after all?
“Hey.” Anson’s hand on her shoulder guided her away from the counter.
His thumb skimmed her cheek before he pulled her into a hug.
“I’m sorry for what you went through. I’m sorry you needed help and were left to fend for yourself.
I really don’t want that for Carter and Dylan.
I don’t know if there is a problem in their family, but if one of them started the fire—”
“I don’t want to lose Mercy. It’s my greatest fear.”
He stilled for a moment. His chest shifted as he leaned his head to see her face. “Why would you lose Mercy? You’re doing a great job with her. She’s happy and healthy and well-cared for.”
Was she, though? Blaze bit her trembling bottom lip.
She had been trying for years to break the cycle of dysfunction.
She thought turning her life over to Christ would do it.
She thought obtaining diagnoses and treatment would release her.
But what if it wasn’t about breaking the old cycle, but rather building a new one?
One that rejected the old lies. One that followed Jesus’s lead as Anson had said?
And following Jesus’s lead meant telling the truth regardless of the consequences, the way a scared little girl named Jenny had.
She took a deep breath, then straightened away from him. “When I got up—” Her lungs spasmed, but if she had to sob her way through this, she would.
She tried again. “When I got up the morning after the fire, Mercy was coming back in.”
His eyebrows dipped, but his gaze held hers.
“I had no idea she’d gone out. She said she was upset because she’d found the first draft of my testimony and then I didn’t check on her after our date.
So when I went to bed, she snuck out. She was gone all night.
She swears she didn’t go to the church and has never snuck out before, and I think I believe her, but it’s not like she has a perfect track record of honesty.
” Blaze’s eyes slid shut, and two tears dropped to her cheeks.
She forced her eyes open. “She had just read my testimony. It might’ve given her ideas about starting a fire or about what would happen if she was honest. She might be lying, even to me, because she’s as scared as I am of the consequences.
” She shuddered. All of that was speculation.
She needed to own up to one last fact. “She was wearing her Rooted hoodie when she came in. It looks so suspicious, I told her not to tell anyone, and I especially didn’t tell you. ”
His mouth dropped open and he crossed his arms over his chest.
Unable to watch his anger replace his faith in her, Blaze lowered her face.