20. Chapter Twenty
It took days for my bones to stop aching, but the second I was ready, Sapphire and I were outside the Magyn Manor with sparring swords firmly pressed between our hands. We couldn’t risk using magic out in the open, but wooden swords were quiet. They were just what I needed to let off some steam. In the morning, we practiced magic until my fingers burned, and then, we’d spar.
After two days of learning how to glamour, my fingers were on fire.
“Again,” Sapphire hissed at me. I scowled, swinging my blade toward her as if she were an enemy. As if I intended to kill. Only, Sapphire was no ordinary fae—halfling or not. A wave of magic forced the sword away just as it ghosted her neck. The peach fuzz would have scraped off if it had been a blade, but she would have been fine.
Sapphire cackled and spun into her next move, flitting through the air like a pixie lunging off her feet. When the dull sword smacked into the side of my leg, I howled out and fell to a knee. Her blade rested on the crook of my neck, silvery strands of hair falling in front of her face as she smiled.
“Again.”
I could feel the sutures in my back stretching as I rolled my shoulders, but the pain invigorated me. My body, more bruised than it ever had been before, yearned for relief, but it would not get such a luxury—not until I knew what I was doing, whether with a blade or my magic.
“Have you told him yet?” Sapphire asked as I readied myself into a defensive stance again. Hers was so much stronger than mine. The power behind her sword could blow through the most formidable enemies. I would get there, one day. It definitely wasn’t today, but that was no matter.
I was certain.
“Have you heard us get into a screaming match lately?” I countered with a slight smirk. Sapphire matched my attitude, jerking her chin at my footwork before we circled each other. I continued after a brief pause. “I haven’t. I am…fearful.”
“Fearful of Eero?” Sapphire said with a raised brow, disbelief riddling her tone.
“Not of him,” I said between heavy breaths, still catching up from our last round. Sapphire was loose this time around—possibly because of our conversation, or maybe because of fatigue. I didn’t care. I just needed to take advantage of it. “I know that it’s the only way I can get answers, find somebody willing to help me save Julius, and understand what’s happened to Yenira—really, understand why she would return to that cocksucker.”
“Mates are a terrifyingly beautiful thing, Aurelie,” Sapphire said before moving to strike me. I, for once, parried, and the wooden waster resounded into the air like a weak thunderclap. The wood splintered, but as Sapphire stepped back in surprise, I lunged forward and poked the tip of my broken sword into her abdomen. Sapphire hunched forward, shock coloring her face red. But she smiled. “Good job.”
I let the sword fall to the ground before fetching the water flask near the rest of the supplies, flexing my fingers, and Sapphire joined me after I sat against a tree. “I have a mate, and yet…I don’t think I’d ever return if I knew of the evil things Sólkon had committed. Let alone…let alone take back a throne.”
Sapphire gave me a knowing look before snatching the flask and stealing a sip. “Aurelie Cane, Eero has done terrible things in your name. Do not act so na?ve—it is no different.”
“Compare him to Sólkon again, and I will have your tongue,” I hissed. It reverberated in my chest, my voice egged on by a force within me. Anger, perhaps, but it’d taken control before I had the wits to stop.
Sapphire merely stared. “I would never compare him to that cruel male.”
With a flared nose, I tore my stare away from her. It felt like my temper was shorter—at least shorter than usual—ever since I woke after that bout of magic erupted from me.
“I meant that we excuse a lot when the stars bind us to somebody. Yenira is no different, but she is weaker than you. That, I know,” Sapphire breathed out and took a swig of water. “The worst Eero will say is no, that he disapproves, but you are your own woman. That will be the same when you are queen, too.”
I frowned. “How are you so certain?”
“Because I know Eero well, and I feel as if I’ve come to know you. You are ignorant and ill-prepared, but more than that…you are strong. Smart. I have no doubts about your potential. None of us do. If you feel certain that Azalea can answer your questions and help us, then we need to find her.”
I nodded slowly, the words escaping me.
“Fast, too. The queen only gave you one month.”
I flicked my gaze back to her. I wanted to apologize for snapping at her and making such cruel threats, but I couldn’t find it in me. Her crimson gaze hardened, but she nodded once and stood. I accepted her hand as she offered it to me, letting out a small gasp when she pulled me close.
“Remember what I told you. Be stronger than the monsters that beg you to collapse into darkness.”
I’d set up the round table in the guest house with two wine glasses, steamed vegetables, and meat covered in the center. Casynox and Eero had ventured off to get the cartographers and scholar to safety. They’d be settled in a temporary home closer to town, where the queen had agreed to assign guards to watch over them. I wasn’t sure how he’d convinced her, but something told me Queen Evangeline owed Eero many debts, considering the leniency she’d shown the both of us.
I tried to wait without stealing a few sips of wine, but it was futile. It was addictive, and it helped me ignore the way my bruises twitched with my heartbeat, numbing the sting each time I moved my arm too far and stretched those damned sutures open. I could heal them, but my magic still waned since that outburst.
By the time Eero had returned, I’d had more than a few sips. I knew he wouldn’t mind, after all. He paused in the doorway and blinked at the dinner, then at me. I smiled and twisted in my chair before standing, setting the glass down.
“I…well, we can’t risk being outside the manor grounds, but I thought it’d been too long since we ate supper together. Without everything else getting in the way, at least.”
He let his satchel clutter onto the ground after kicking the door closed, smiling softly. As he neared, I saw bags beneath his eyes and lines etched into his face. I wasn’t foolish enough to think sleep was a given in times like this, but he hadn’t had many late nights yet. This fatigue was because of all the stress—likely stress I’d caused.
He’d never admit it, but it was painted in his stare.
I reached over the short candles, removed the lid covering the food, and moved it to the table near the wall. I wasn’t a good cook. I wouldn’t even say I was adequate. But roasting meat was easy enough—and the vegetables cooked alongside it most of the way. At the least it wasn’t poison, even if it was dry or bland.
“Just lie to me and tell me it’s better than Casynox’s stew,” I muttered before sitting. Eero breathed out a chuckle and settled across from me.
“Thank you, Aurelie,” he said quietly. I stared at him and reached for his hand when he offered it. “You didn’t need to do this. I’d rather you rest.”
“I’ve done enough resting,” I said with a certain bite on my tongue, giving him a knowing glare. He smirked, letting go of my hand to pick up his wine glass. He offered to toast. “Is there something to celebrate?” I asked as I lifted mine into the air.
He nodded when our glasses clinked together, the ringing swirling around us. “To being okay, Aurelie.”
It was such a simple statement—innocent, even—but it struck me in the chest like a dagger. He was right, though. We were okay. My family, my friends, the rebellion…no. It’d never been more chaotic. But us?
“To being more than okay,” I said back, drawing the edge of the glass to my lips. “How are Isaac and the cartographers?”
“They’re…okay.” Eero snickered at the repetitiveness, flourishing his glass dramatically before setting it down and replacing it with his fork. “Isaac is concerned about some of the documents they lost, but I asked them to spend the next few days planning our rescue. Lyren has been gone too long.”
I watched his face twitch into a small smile when he took a bite of the beef. I breathed out a sigh of relief and pierced my fork into the food, finally taking a second to taste it. It wasn’t half-bad. Not good. No, not at all, but it was decent.
“Perhaps your success will inspire me to accomplish my own rescue mission,” I muttered after swallowing. “It won’t be easy getting to the Summer Court?”
“Not at all,” he said quickly and shook his head. “I still don’t know how we’ll do it, but I have faith in Xaden, Talia, and Isaac. Together, they have the lay of the land and the knowledge to boot.”
I nodded and swallowed past the lump in my throat, toying with the vegetables instead of eating them. Sapphire’s words were egging me on. The worst he could do was disapprove.
“You know, I was thinking about what I needed to get some answers regarding Julius’ involvement in my torture.”
Torture. It slipped into the air like such a casual word, but both of our bodies tensed. We hadn’t spoken of that night much, but I was thankful for it. Eero could draw the same conclusions I did. That was all we had to go off of: rough theories that led to the idea of abuse I’d never be able to prove besides the bite marks that refused to heal all the way. My body, when it wasn’t bruised and broken, would always be riddled with Sólkon’s teeth. Faint, white scars that reminded me how evil a person could be.
Eero set his fork down and leaned back in his chair, forearm braced against the edge of the table with his fingers curled into his palm loosely. “If that’s what you seek answers about, witchling, I already have an idea.”
There was that cold, bitter tone. I lifted my stare to look him in the eyes, and his expression softened instantly. “I understand you want nothing more than for them to pay, but what Julius said shouldn’t go unnoticed. Yenira may also be involved too…and I will need help dissecting that issue.”
“So, you hope there is good left in their hearts? Just because you grew up alongside them?”
Ouch. I clenched my jaw and leaned back in my chair, nodding stiffly. “Exactly.”
His eyes narrowed on me again, and momentarily, I could see the frustration wash over him like a massive wave. The way he gritted his teeth and tapped a finger against his palm spoke volumes, despite his gentle approach. “I envy your empathy, Aurelie, but you cannot expect me to sit by and—”
“I do not expect you to sit idly by ever,” I said quickly and shook my head. “I only hope you decide to listen and help wherever possible.”
His lips parted, and he cocked his head. “That, you will always have. Do you doubt that?”
“No, never.” I cleared my throat and shifted in my chair, averting my gaze back to my plate to escape the heat of his focus. “But I do fear your disapproval.”
The silence was deafening, so I started picking at the vegetables again. They’d cooled to the point where they no longer steamed, and the wine had grown warm. Eero stopped tapping his fingers against his palm and leaned forward ever so slightly.
“What could I possibly—”
“I want to find Azalea.”
The words were quick and sharp, forcing Eero’s mouth shut in surprise as he settled into his chair. “Well, that’s not an option.”
My shoulders slumped forward in the worst way, and I snapped my focus back to him. “And why not?”
“Why not?” he repeated in disbelief, eyes wide. “Because it could start a war, Aurelie. Do not forget the barrier that very much divides these two realms.”
“How could I forget?” I said, scoffing with a wicked sneer. “I was the one forced to cross it for defending myself against something your kind sent after me.”
That might have gone too far. The mild, fleeting frustration wiped off his face, and he frowned. “You know how much regret I have for playing a part in that, Aurelie. I am sorry, but this is diff—”
“Different?” I snapped, cutting him off. “So the fae can send something across territories and risk war to get somebody with enough magic in their veins to outweigh that danger? Well, Eero, I’m here now. If Julius and Yenira have really abandoned her, I cannot stand idly by. I’ve done enough of that lately, and I’m tired of it.”
I’d broken through to him, but that made him angrier. His cheeks were turning red, lips so thin that white lines formed. “You don’t understand this sort of risk. You were sent here a prisoner, and you could face execution should word reach the Elkyn queen of your return. They won’t care about the nuance of your situation, and they certainly won’t give a damn about your witch blood.”
I smirked viciously. “Then I better be quiet, Eero, though the wrath of a mortal queen matters little to me anymore. She lost my respect the second she bent a knee to Novus and sent me here to my demise.”
Eero’s lips parted. For a moment, genuine pain fluttered across his face before it faded, and he glanced down at the food. My chest tightened—what I’d just insinuated had to have stung deep in the chest, where only heartache could exist.
I shallowly, quietly gasped. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Sure,” Eero muttered quietly, letting the fork clatter onto the plate. “If you are so homesick, you can still go home. Would that make you happy?”
Now, it was my turn to feel the sting. I lowered a hand into my lap so I could ball it into a fist and pinch the skin of my palm. “No,” I rasped. “Quite the opposite, actually, and you are well aware of that.”
Eero’s gaze hardened on the food. “You say that, but you insinuate unhappiness every chance you get. Not that I blame you, witchling. The things you’ve encountered…” His voice trailed off into the distance, along with his mind, and when he looked me in the eyes, I saw nothing but a guarded wall. “I don’t think I’d consider a place like this home either if I went through what you did.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and inwardly cursed at myself. Eventually, the anxious ringing in my head silenced, and I nodded once. “Then help me, Eero. Not by sheltering me from the dangers of both realms, but by letting me do what needs to be done.” I leaned forward. “I am not even asking for your attention, just the resources to find Azalea and the confidence that I will return.”
Eero remained silent, that guard crumbling bit by bit. I’d hit him too deep, too hard. My tongue had been bitter since leaving that fortress in the Winter Court, more than it already was, but I wanted desperately to rid myself of this resentment. It wasn’t toward Eero, Sapphire, Casynox…none of them. The hatred bubbled from the unknown and the thought that the only home I’d ever had shattered within weeks of my arrival to the fae realm.
I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to hurt him with my words, actions, or mistakes. In fact, I wanted to play an integral part in this war. I wanted to be a pillar to him, as he had been to me. But those words failed me, time and time again.
“Azalea is the answer. My magic…Julius…Yenira. She knows about all of it—she has to. With Lyra indisposed, she’s our only choice. Sapphire’s help can only go so far.”
Eero’s chair scratched against the wood as he stood, rounded the table, and offered his hand to me, flat and toward the ceiling. I didn’t avert my gaze as I accepted it and stood, allowing him to pull me outside. We walked silently toward the dock where we’d once sat so he could tell me everything about his former identity and the truth behind it. We stopped where the grass turned to dirt, then eventually into the wooden walkway. The night was clear, dazzling stars overhead that rained down on us in all their beauty. My eyes twinkled up at them, but Eero captured my attention when he placed his other hand around my waist. We swayed in silence, his forehead resting over mine.
“Do you understand what dangers await you?” he asked after a moment. I let my eyes flutter closed and nodded, inhaling his oaky scent. “Truly understand, witchling. Not just in theory. Not just in arrogance, but in your heart.”
“If I am caught, it could be my end,” I said quietly. My heart ached at the idea. I would always refer to those two cottages tucked away between rolling hills as my home. There, Julius came and went, where Azalea and Yenira spent their days scheming when away from their responsibilities with the Circle of Sorceresses. That place was no longer my home. I would be a criminal, whether they knew of my fae blood or not. “But I cannot keep running from fear when those closest to me suffer.”
Eero pressed his lips to my forehead and sighed softly against my skin. “Then we stop running, Aurelie.”
We. I dipped my head back and narrowed my eyes at him. “This is not your fight. You have—”
“I know what I have to do,” he said, cutting me off with the gentlest bite in his tone. A small smile inked across his face, and he brushed his nose against mine. “But you are my queen.”
I blinked in disbelief, in guilt. I shook my head and opened my mouth to tell him not to focus his time on this. “Eero, you can’t—”
“If you expect me to let you break the deadliest agreement known to the divided realms, then you cannot expect me to let you do it alone.”
My mouth snapped shut.
“As my queen, my betrothed, your word holds as much weight as mine.” Eero nuzzled his face into my hair and kissed the top of my ear. “Unless you’d like to be a silent wife who only bears miserable children and speaks when spoken to? That can be arranged, witchling…but it won’t be with me.”
I hissed out a laugh and hit him on the arm, resting my chin against his chest as he drew his other arm around me. “I’ve been difficult. I am sorry.”
“Did you not listen to me?” he said against my ear before he kissed it again. “If I wanted easy, quiet, submissive, then that’s what I would have. I enjoy being challenged by you.”
Heat swept across my cheeks. When I was brought to Novus’ castle, I never would have expected to be given a guard, let alone one who’d enchant me as terribly as Eero has. He occupied every inch of reasoning. I did not deserve his patience, but he deserved every ounce of effort and love I had to give. I just hoped, in the end, that my efforts amounted to something other than chaos and strife.
“If that’s the case, I can gladly challenge you more. I’ve been holding back, you know.”
Eero’s laugh vibrated against me, and we continued swaying, my arms around his neck and his around my waist. We said nothing else—and although the guilt lingered, warmth bubbled inside me. The sort I hadn’t felt since escaping the fortress. It wasn’t of untapped magic or rage, nor was it the aftermath of never-ending numbness that had consumed me. It was something deeper.
I held onto it, allowing it to give me a semblance of peace, even if fleeting.