Chapter 7
Cora
Lily
I don’t like you being alone tonight.
Don’t worry about it. I’m pretending it’s not my birthday anyway.
Lily
But it is your birthday.
Stop it.
I’m fine. Enjoying Pitt and Clooney and a glass of Zinfandel.
Celeste
Sounds so peaceful. I love my daughter, but sometimes I wonder if I will ever just chill with a glass of wine.
Saar
But look, you wrote two long sentences.
That’s an improvement.
Lily
I feel like it’s my fault we’re not celebrating you. Sorry.
Again. Stop it. All of you. My birthday is in a few weeks when we go party.
Saar
Love you.
Good night.
Iput my phone away and bring Pitt’s fluffy, lethargic body closer. At this point, it’s more the cat hugging me than the other way around.
Did I want to spend my birthday alone? No. Though I can’t argue with a quiet evening. It’s pleasant. Isn’t it?
I bury my fingers in Pitt’s fluffy coat, the vibration of his purring therapeutic.
I understand that Lily is in the midst of a public scandal, and going out with her wouldn’t be enjoyable for any of us.
And I know Celeste would pump and come, but then feel anxious about leaving baby Amelie for a couple of hours. At this stage of motherhood, it must feel like an abandonment. Or so I hear.
And she offered her place, but that wouldn’t be much of a celebration. She’d be distracted, and we would all just focus on that adorable little girl of hers.
I didn’t want to impose on them, so I insisted we postpone.
As a birthday gift to myself, I left work early, leaving Sanjay to mind the shop. I should review the financials, but no amount of staring at the spreadsheet would make my father’s business more profitable, so fuck that.
At least for one day.
Well, technically, a second day of freedom in the span of a week. The lemongrass and sandalwood are long washed out, but when I close my eyes, their scent lingers.
I should have reached out to Xander to thank him. Especially after our outing was halted abruptly. But I almost gave in to his charm, so I’m sure he appreciates my sparing him an awkward dance. I’m glad I don’t have his number.
In light of my real life and duties, I realized how unrealistic such an affair would be. He might say he doesn’t care about my age, but that proves the point. He is careless, and I need to be responsible.
Besides, I don’t think Xander Stone is a guy you sleep with and forget. Not a girl like me. Jesus, I’m forty, not seventeen, so why do I feel like giving in and having fun with him is akin to sneaking out of my parents’ house to meet a boy? What is wrong with me?
Standing up to Pitt’s loud protests, I refill my wineglass and search for a journal in my purse. The sunflower-covered one has been missing. Have I left it at work? Perhaps it’s in my bedroom?
A knock on the door stops my search. Is that little Pavel? My eight-year-old neighbor visits occasionally. When his parents argue. Sometimes I wish I weren’t working so much, so I could give him refuge more often.
I open the door, and my heart swells. “What are you doing here?”
Saar pushes her way through. “I ran out of Zinfandel, so I came.”
“Did you really think we’d leave you alone on your birthday?” Celeste gives me a quick hug.
“Happy Birthday.” Lily enters, wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and an oversized male jacket.
I open my mouth, and she raises her hand to silence me. “Don’t say anything. Declan wouldn’t let me leave the house unless I disguised myself.”
A laugh bubbles in my chest. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better, but we’re not talking about me tonight. I need a night that isn’t about me.” She sheds the jacket and the cap.
“And I need an hour or two when I’m not a milk factory.” Celeste pulls chips, popcorn, and cupcakes from a large bag I didn’t even realize she carried.
“So where is that Zinfandel, birthday girl?” Saar walks into my kitchen.
She used to live here, for a brief period before she married Corm, so she knows where I stash my favorite wine.
It doesn’t take long before we’re eating junk and treats and drinking wine, while the conversation and teasing flow effortlessly.
Best birthday ever.
The fact that these women showed up like this melts my heart.
“Okay, I will have to leave soon… Leaking breasts…” Celeste rolls her eyes, cupping her tits. “But we never got a chance to talk about the luncheon.”
Lily groans.
Saar perks up. “Not about your revelations and Declan’s brawl.” She looks at me with her eyebrows raised in expectation. “I think Celeste is referring to Xander fucking Stone paying Cora to be his plus one.”
Fuck.
“You make it sound dirty.” I throw a chip at her.
She catches it and pops it into her mouth. “Spill the beans.”
“There is nothing to spill. He showed up at the bistro and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“That sounds like him,” Celeste says. “It doesn’t surprise me that the man would coerce you in any way possible. And I definitely don’t blame you for taking his offer.”
Her support plays tug of war with my good-girl complex. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Wait a minute. We all know that Xander man-whore Stone would charm the pants off any woman. The fact that he was so adamant about taking you is what I would like to dissect.” Saar leans forward, her long legs crossed, eager to listen.
“What? Like I’m not worthy of his attention?” I fake my indignation. But the thought has been playing in my mind, mocking me. Questioning my worthiness.
“Hey, if anything, he doesn’t deserve you. I’m more intrigued by his dedication,” Saar says.
“He said something about enjoying my company at the gala.” I shrug.
Lily’s eyes widen. Celeste tuts, and Saar’s arm shoots up in victory. “I knew it.”
“We went to a spa afterward, and he wanted to fuck me.” I recoil internally.
Not because the idea is cringe-worthy, but because the way I described the situation degraded it. But perhaps I’ve been romanticizing the whole thing.
“Never would I have guessed that Xander is a man willing to put in the work. I thought he walked through life while women threw themselves at his feet.” Saar tops up her glass.
“How was it?” Lily, the shyest of us, surprises us with her question.
“I didn’t sleep with him.” I pick up Clooney who curls in my lap.
“Why not?” Saar asks.
“Wrong question,” Celeste says. “We should bow to a woman who resisted his charm.”
“Well… more like I was saved by the bell.” I shrug. “I got a call from my father and had to leave.”
“Is your dad alright?” Lily reaches to touch my hand.
“Yes, he is okay. And once I dove into the reality of my life, I realized that a fleeting fantasy with Xander would be stupid. So there is that.”
“And he just gave up?” Celeste frowns, and I nod.
I’ve been thinking about being saved, but now it feels like I was rejected. Which rationally I know is not true, nor do I care. My stomach still churns at the thought.
“It was his idea to take you to the gala and then the luncheon.” Saar slides down from the sofa and folds her long legs under her, elegant as always. “It’s weird that he would give up like that.”
“Perhaps he realized I was more trouble than he cared for. He drove me to my father’s home. The whole thing just dampened the mood.”
“Would you like to revisit it?” Celeste asks.
“No,” I say too quickly. “I don’t know. At the spa, it was a different world. Later, it felt like a mistake. So I’m glad we got interrupted. Besides, he’s been out with several long-legged socialites this week.”
“So you’re looking him up?” Celeste grins. “Also, you can’t be sure those pics are recent.”
I sigh. “I hate to admit that my pride is hurt. I wanted him to call and try to pick up where we left off. Not because I want to follow through, but because it felt nice to be wanted.”
“You have been single for too long. We need to find you someone,” Saar suggests.
“Like a fake husband?” I deadpan.
All three of my friends ended up in marriages of convenience with Merged partners. How ridiculously odd is that?
But I guess those workaholics don’t have other social lives other than the ones that came with us. And since Saar is Caleb’s sister… well, somehow my close friends paired up with the rich businessmen.
“Touché. But seriously, when was the last time you dated? I don’t remember you going on a date in… well, ever.” Celeste turns to me.
How have we been friends for years, and I never told them why I don’t do romance?
I take a sip of my wine. “I don’t do relationships.”
“Why not?” Saar cocks her head, her eyebrows drawn together.
This time, I take a long gulp before I place the glass on the table. Clooney jumps down, disturbed by my move.
He walks away to find his peace in my bedroom, and I swear he sighs his annoyance. My cats give an Oscar-worthy attitude most of the time.
“I was engaged ten years ago.”
The bomb renders the room speechless. The echo of my words booms in my head. I haven’t said the words in… well, a decade.
I brace for the agonizing squeeze in my chest, the tightening of my stomach, and the scorching lava in my throat—the usual manifestations of the memory and the grief—but while sadness descends, my reaction is pale.
I haven’t thought of Ethan in a long time. The realization surprises me, and a wave of guilt washes over me.
“He died in an accident a few weeks before the wedding,” I complete the sordid story, and the silence deepens.
“I’m so sorry.” Saar speaks first, and my friends murmur agreement with the sentiment.
“Thank you. Needless to say, I’m healed from the heartbreak, but not willing to chance it again. So I avoid relationships.”
Lily comes over, hugs me, and stays seated on my armrest. Her closeness wraps me in comfort I didn’t even know I craved.
“I can’t imagine what that must have been like,” she says. “But love surprises us, even if we don’t seek it. Don’t let the grief stop you from living.”
“You deserve to be happy,” Saar adds.
“Well, in any case, I don’t think a lifetime of happiness is what Xander Stone offers.”
Saar snorts. “Smart words.”