Chapter 16
Xander
Caged lion.
That’s how I’ve been feeling since Cora’s door unlocked but never opened. Fuck, I’ve never been as scared or powerless as I felt when I found her collapsed on the floor.
The ambulance took three lifetimes to arrive. And it took another one to finally hear that she was okay, just severely dehydrated along with her nasty flu.
Her face is transparent as she lies in the huge hospital bed. Her nose looks even redder against the ashen background of her beautiful face.
What would have happened if I wasn’t there? If I didn’t come to her uninvited yet again? I had some doubts about my visit, which I stubbornly ignored. But those faint voices of reason were erased the moment I saw her.
The doctor reassured me she’ll be fine. They broke her fever and pumped all sorts of drugs into her, to keep her sinuses clean and her body hydrated.
And still I’m wearing holes in the sterile floor, waiting for her to wake up and scold me for something, so I know she is okay.
I stop to check my emails. It’s almost midnight, but at this point I’d do anything to distract myself from waiting. Leaning against the wall, I tap my foot while I review a few proposals.
“What’s the tapping?”
I drop the phone on the windowsill and rush to her bedside, her raspy voice the most beautiful sound I’ve heard all day.
“You’re up,” I say like an idiot, leaning over her, gripping the frame of her bed to stop myself from touching her, hugging her, holding her.
She squints. “Xander? Where am I?” Her eyes move from me to her arm, and up the tube to the IV bag, and then back to me. “What happened?”
“You had a fever and fainted, but there is nothing to worry about; you should regain your strength soon.”
“I fainted?” She closes her eyes, frowning.
“Are you in pain?”
She shakes her head. “You found me?” She licks her cracked lips.
Unable to stay away, I caress her head, her hair sticky and warm under my touch. “Luckily, you unlocked the door just before you lost consciousness. Here, have a sip of water.” I reach for the cup and bring the straw to her mouth.
She blinks a few times and takes a sip. “It was you knocking?”
“Yes.”
She closes her eyes again. I want to pepper her with questions to make sure she is not suffering. I want to call the doctor and demand they run all sorts of tests to make sure she’s alright. I want to berate her for not calling someone sooner when she fell sick.
I don’t do any of those things. I just watch her, the caged-lion feeling restraining me again.
I don’t know how long I stand there as she drifts back to sleep. I just resume my pacing, and when she groans, I’m back at her side so quickly I almost topple over a chair.
“I was on my way to the toilet when you knocked,” she whimpers, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. She covers her face with her forearm. “Did I?”
“Don’t worry about it.” The state she was in will forever be etched on my mind, but that minor detail is inconsequential. I peel her arm from her face. “I was there; that’s what matters. And you were perfectly decent, I promise.”
Groaning, she looks away. “Thank you for that charitable lie,” she murmurs.
Fuck, she is adorable. Always. In her anger. In her defiance. Even in her unwarranted embarrassment. “Look at me.”
She does reluctantly.
“I’m just fucking glad you’re okay.”
“With no shred of dignity left,” she whimpers.
“It’s going to be a good joke one day,” I tease.
She widens her eyes, but the corners of her mouth twitch. “Don’t you dare ever mention it.”
“I promise.” I pat my heart.
“Thank you,” she says again. “How long have I been here?” The momentary peace disappears from her face, her forehead marred with lines.
“Too fucking long.” I sigh, but she attempts to sit up, so I add, “A few hours.”
“I need to leave now.” She tries to turn to swing her legs over the edge, but stops. Eyeing the drip, she bites her lip.
“Okay, woman, what’s the problem? You were half-dead an hour ago. Let them treat you, so you can regain your strength.”
“I can’t stay here, Xander.” She whispers, despite us being alone in a private room.
“What are you talking about?”
Is she still running a fever? Did she hit her head when she fell?
“Why would you get me a private room?” She sags into the pillows, covering her eyes with her free arm.
I open my mouth, but I realize I don’t have an answer to that. I called Corm on the way here because his mother is on the board, and this is what followed.
I look around. “It’s the best they have.”
“I can’t afford it,” she whisper-snaps at me, glancing at the door as if someone were eavesdropping.
Shit. I sit on the edge beside her. “It’s a good thing I’m paying for it then.”
“I’m not accepting your charity,” she says, like she had options here.
“It’s my birthday gift redo.” I wink.
She glares at me. “This is not much better.”
“But at least it’s something you need.”
Her eyes pierce through me, first with fierce disdain and then with something akin to resignation. “Thank you.”
Good girl.
“Stop thanking me.”
It may be just the drugs and her fatigue, but I can almost see how the tension from her shoulders leaves. Like she’s finally accepted the reality and decided to let go of her independence for a moment.
For some reason, it makes me feel like I won some sort of prize. Like I tamed her stubborn streak or something. It’s fucked-up and intoxicating. I’ve never cared for anyone. I never needed or wanted to.
And it’s not even about helping her, which is strangely rewarding, and it slightly lessens the latent panic from earlier when she was lifeless in my arms.
It’s about her surrender. About her letting me help her that makes me feel like I conquered Mt. Everest.
Our eyes locked, I wipe sweaty hair from her forehead, letting my fingers linger near her warm face. Even pale and congested, she is breathtaking.
She parts her lips, wetting them with her tongue. I want to lean down and take that taunting mouth.
Fuck the germs.
If I could, I would take the sickness from her. But I don’t think she would appreciate my mauling her while she can barely breathe.
Cora puts her hand over mine and inhales to say something.
“I see you’re up, Ms. Winslow.” A nurse walks in, and I jump away as if she caught me stealing.
She did, kind of. I was trying to steal a moment with this woman who stole my attention, and refuses to let go.
The nurse gives me a stern look and turns to Cora. “I’m Doctor Chen. How are you feeling?”
Oh, so not a nurse.
“I’m good. Can I go home?” Cora’s voice is laced with hope.
I groan. Still fucking stubborn.
Dr. Chen glances at the half-empty drip and pinches Cora’s wrist between her thumb and index finger while she checks her watch.
“I don’t see any reason to keep you here longer. As soon as the drip is done, we’ll discharge you.”
“I discussed a CT scan with your colleague,” I interject.
Dr. Chen smiles at me. “I heard of that, but it’s really not necessary.”
“What if she hit her head when she fell? We’re not leaving here until we’ve discounted all the options.” I barely keep my voice at a decent volume.
“I’m sure Ms. Winslow appreciates your concern,” Dr. Chen says, with a sweetness that’s anything but sincere. “But you don’t have the power of attorney here, so I think we will discuss Ms. Winslow’s health without your input, Mr. Stone.”
She knows who I am, so clearly she knows I know people on her board, and she still plays this game.
“I’m sure a negligence lawsuit would look great on your resume,” I snap.
“Xander, please, tone it down. I’m sure they would run a CT if there were a reason for it. Thank you, Dr. Chen.”
“Good. I’m going to prepare the discharge papers.
The nurse will come back with medicine and instructions for your home care, but it’s pretty straightforward.
You have an infection, so I’m prescribing antibiotics.
Stay hydrated while your body copes; come back if you feel worse or can’t break the fever with over-the-counter meds.
But I’m sure the antibiotics will kick in soon, and you’ll be as good as new. ”
“Thank you,” Cora says, and Dr. Chen leaves.
“What the hell, Xander? They know what they’re doing. Why did you have to bully her?”
“Bully her? I just demanded she do her job.”
“And what gave you the right to demand anything here?”
Doesn’t she understand?
“Fear,” I snap. “When I found you… I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
“You really don’t need to—” Cora whines.
“Can you shut up finally?” We enter her apartment. “Over my dead body I’m leaving you alone here.”
“I’m fine,” she says, like I hadn’t heard her the first ten times since we left the hospital.
“You’re still under the influence of drugs. And when your fever spikes again?”
She rolls her eyes. “I will take more drugs.”
I drop her keys on the coffee table. “Now you’re just being stubborn. I’m not leaving.”
“You can’t stay here.” She leans against the doorway leading to her bedroom. The woman barely has the energy to stand, but she uses it to argue. “I don’t have a guest room. Besides, I doubt you can cook chicken soup or even prepare a cup of tea.”
I put my hands on my hips. Fuck, I’m tired after the adrenaline roller coaster and lack of sleep. “Tea is my specialty, and I can have the best chicken soup here in under twenty minutes. I bet it takes longer to cook it.”
She groans and shuffles into her bedroom. “Can you get a guest room built in twenty minutes?”
“I’ll sleep on your sofa.”
Now it’s my turn to lean against the door frame, because as much as I want to—need to—take care of her and make sure she’s better, something stops me from entering her bedroom. Like I’m a fucking vampire who needs an invitation.
“With Pitt and Clooney?” She gives me a teasing smile while she leans against the footboard. Her smile is in such contrast with her grumbling, it’s adorable. But she needs to get to bed ASAP, so I snap out of it.
And yeah, the cats.
“At least I can finally count them all,” I retort.