Chapter 51 #2
I cleared my throat. I was floored, but I couldn’t deny that my heart swelled in my chest. Unsure how to respond, I decided it was best to change the subject. “Why didn’t you tell me the Crow asked my mother for me?”
For the first time, she looked taken aback. “She told you?” I nodded, and she sighed again. “I told no one. I wanted to protect you at all costs.”
“The Crow said it was foretold that I would have the power to help her achieve her greatest desire—did you know about that?”
A guilty look crossed her face, but she met my eyes. “Yes. Your mother told me before she died.”
Ignoring the flare of annoyance from yet another truth being kept from me, I continued. “And my father? The Crow said she… killed him.” I forced out the words. “Will you tell me about him now?”
Her lips went bloodless and her throat bobbed.
“That is a much longer story for another day,” she said.
Her words were slow and heavy underneath the regret they seemed to carry.
I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
“I promise to tell you all I know about him when you return to Vantillios. Please, trust that now is not the right time.”
One look into her haunted eyes told me it was best to leave these ghosts alone. For now.
We watched as the healer and his apprentice appeared in the clearing carrying fresh linens and blankets.
They wore leather satchels, most likely filled with tonics and salves for the less severely injured.
Mira pointed them in the direction of the fire pit where most had gathered around the resurrected amber flames.
“Are you going to explain how the curse came to be broken?” my grandmother asked, all traces of her earlier emotion buried.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. There was no telling how she would react if she knew the full story.
How could I explain this while giving as few details as possible?
I decided to go with, “Prince Tarben told me he loved me. He was under the impression I was dying at the time, and that must have broken his heart.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “And what would give him that impression?”
I studied my nails, sullied with mud and grime and dried blood.
Divine goddess, I needed a hot bath. “I got stabbed in the chest by a vengeful selkie.” When I looked up, her facial expression warred between alarm and disapproval so I quickly added, “But, as you can see, I’m fine, so no need to fret. ”
Her nostrils flared and she inhaled deeply, as if calming herself. “We shall discuss this further when you return home. Now,” she said, her tone all business, “this mortal. Do you care for him?”
“Would it matter if I said yes?” I asked, unable to keep the bitter edge from my voice.
“It would matter to me. I will not make the same mistakes with you as I did with your mother. If you care for him, I shall not stand in your way.”
I searched her face. “Do you mean that?”
A small, rare smile was the only confirmation she would offer me.
“Speaking of which,” she said, tilting her head to where Tarben sat at the edge of the crowd with Amalie, Hugo and Filip, shooting me not-so-subtle glances.
“The boy looks most eager to talk to you.” Her eyebrows lifted sternly, but a trace of amusement crossed her features. “I must speak with the healer.”
She placed a hand on my cheek and looked at me as though she wanted to say something more.
Deciding against it, she dropped her hand and made her way towards the healer, who was tending to Hugo’s leg, a ball of magic light hovering above his shoulder.
With a flick of my grandmother’s hand, all the trees in the clearing became illuminated with orbs of magic light.
Amalie gaped up at them in awe.
Tarben stood and dusted himself off. He gave his brother an affectionate squeeze of the shoulder, then headed towards me, but not before my grandmother stopped him in his tracks.
“So, you are the mortal who claims to love my granddaughter?” She fixed him with a stare that would make a lesser man quiver.
He stole a quick glance at me then returned his gaze to her. “I am. Prince Tarben, Your Majesty,” he said with a bow.
“Well, Prince Tarben of Solvardunn, just know that I have a number of shape shifters in my court who will not hesitate to feast on your mortal flesh if you harm her in any way.”
He blanched at the threat. “Understood, Your Majesty.”
“Good.” Her smile was all teeth. “Now, don’t keep her waiting.”
I cringed and shook my head apologetically as he approached. “Sorry about that. She’s…”
“Possibly the most terrifying being I’ve encountered all evening,” he finished for me.
“I was going to say ‘overbearing’, but I think you’ve summed it up.”
He huffed a laugh. “Scary grandmother, mermaid princess, impressive powers… I’ve learned a lot about you tonight.
” His eyes met mine as he interlaced our fingers.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted when I found out you were Velcarin.
I think I was in shock. But when the witch tried to take you, I realized it doesn’t matter—I still want to be with you. ”
My heart jumped, then fell. His words were only going to make this harder. I took a deep breath and looked up at him. With great difficulty, I met his eyes. “Actually, there’s more you should know.”
***
I supposed I could have lied. Up until quite recently that’s exactly what I would have done, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
But the idea of continuing to lie to Tarben left me with a sickening feeling I could only identify as guilt.
Something inside me insisted that, if I truly cared about Tarben, it was time I told the truth, even if it meant losing him.
So, ignoring the fear constricting my chest, I led him behind the cottage, with no one but the surrounding trees to bear witness, and told him everything.
As expected, Tarben was upset when I confessed that my plan to break the curse involved tricking him into falling in love with me and breaking his heart.
“So none of this was real for you? It was all just a means to an end?” he asked. The disbelief on his face morphed into devastation.
It pained me to see him in pain. I needed to make him understand it wasn’t just a means to an end for me.
Not anymore. He’d reduced my plans to ruins and instead of feeling outraged, I found myself wanting to make new plans.
With him. “That’s how it started, but Tarben, I swear to you, it was real—it is real for me,” I said, my voice pleading.
He dragged a hand through his hair. “You said you’d only tell me the truth, but all you’ve done is lie. I’ve been nothing but open with you, I even told you I—it doesn’t matter…” He trailed off, avoiding my eye.
“It does matter,” I insisted, reaching for his hand. “Everything you said and did matters to me very much. And everything you felt about me, I feel about you too.”
He pulled his hand away. “It doesn’t matter, because you were always planning on leaving. You never had any intention of staying with me.”
Cheers erupted from the other side of the cottage, the sound of celebration so at odds with the sober cloud that had settled between us.
“Tarben, please… Things are different now. The curse is broken. My grandmother has given us her blessing.” Taking a fortifying breath, I voiced the truth. “I want to be with you.”
Crossing his arms, he said nothing, focusing on the decaying foliage at his feet.
“Do you no longer want that? To be together?” I asked, my voice catching.
Addressing the space above my shoulder, he said, “I’m not sure what I want anymore, but I know that I can’t be around you right now.”
My eyes burned. “I understand,” I breathed.
With that, he turned and walked away. After a few steps, he paused. His voice was hollow as he said, “Congratulations on breaking your curse.” Then, he disappeared around the corner.
Tears ran down my face. I banished them with the heels of my hands.
I deserved every angry word he directed at me.
I had deceived him—plotted to bring him nothing but misery.
My actions were driven by my own self-interest, and, because of that, I’d hurt the male I had truly come to care about.
I’d gotten exactly what I wanted, yet I’d never felt so devastated.
I always knew this would end in hurt, I just never imagined it would be my own. I feared the ache in my heart would be more enduring than the pain of Livia’s blade. And the worst part was, it was entirely by my own hand.