Chapter 5
Five
Shaye
Every morning for the last two weeks, I've gotten up before the sun rises and come to sit in front of my father's statue.
I don't know why. I don't feel closer to him by doing this but a part of me hopes maybe when I touch his hand like I did the first time I saw his likeness, that I'll see him again.
It's a fool's hope but I'm not sure what else I can do or who else I should turn to for answers.
I've pumped my mother with a thousand questions and she's answered most of them.
But there are a few even she can't answer.
Like how do I defeat Drogon if Bastian manages to release him?
What else is my magic capable of? With Frost Elf and Celestial bloodlines will I be able to live a mortal life or am I cursed to walk for hundreds of years and watch Atlas one day die in battle or of old age?
This morning, I forgo a visit to my father's statue, choosing an early morning riding session instead.
It's chilly out. Dawn is fast approaching as I make my way to Fendruil.
Seraxes is fast asleep in her pen and it gives me pause.
She's cranky on a good day, I'm not sure waking her before the sun has peeked over the horizon will do me any favors.
Suddenly her blue eyes snap open and find me.
I offer a sheepish grin, hoping the treat I hold in my hand will satisfy the early morning ride.
To my surprise, as if Seraxes knows my anxiety is high and my mood is sour, she doesn't give me any trouble when I guide her out of her stall and mount her.
Once she's finished her treat and I've secured myself in the saddle, she spears off into the twilight sky, soaring, flipping, twirling, giving me the rush I so desperately crave. I grip the reins tightly and embrace the frigid sting of the wind. She levels off, gliding over the slumbering city.
I straighten in the leather saddle, close my eyes and spread my arms wide. The wind whips past me. My hair dances behind me. And for the first time in weeks, I feel free.
Inhaling deeply, I finally accept the fact I'm no longer in control.
In the coming days, there's no guarantee any of the other leaders will join the fight against Bastian – against Drogon. There's no telling if they'll even believe us – believe me – but we have to try. If we don't, we won't be able to win the war.
I hear the whispers of those who work in Stelara. The lamentations if I'm captured by Bastian, I'll be the reason the Demon King is released from his prison.
But what do they expect me to do?
I won't shrink, I won't hide, and I certainly won't allow others to shield me from the darkness because I'm afraid.
What kind of Basilius – what kind of Sol – would I be if I permitted myself to dim my light when I've just now discovered it?
I might be fearful of the future, but I'm no longer alone. Whatever we face, we face together.
The sun crests over the snowcapped mountains.
Seraxes darts in the light's direction, both of us feeling the comfort and warmth of the sun's rays despite the chill in the air.
Beneath my riding leathers, my skin prickles and goosebumps streak across my entire body.
Not from the cold, but from the calm before the impending storm.
I know now I can feel my father's presence; our connection runs deep in our blood – our magic anchoring us to one another – though we dwell in separate realms. He's here with me. He'll always be here with me.
Seraxes snorts, earning my undivided attention.
I glance downward and detect movement in Fendruil.
I squint to decipher which dragon is moving to launch.
I highly doubt Thrane is up this early – he's been spending a lot of late night's pouring over correspondence with other kingdoms, shouldering the weight of his newly acquired crown.
The other Basilius riders typically don't make their way out here until after lunch so it can only be one person: my mother.
Corvex darts upward at alarming speed. He and my mother in battle would certainly be a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps, I should have let her know where I was going. Even though I now have my Orhelle tattoos, I'm still new to riding and shouldn't be out alone.
I brace myself for chastisement when Corvex's enormous body slides up next to us.
Seraxes snaps her neck toward her older brother, baring her teeth, and narrowing her eyes.
I'm not entirely sure if she didn't like him approaching us quickly or the fact he got too close to me angered her, but neither growls nor makes a move to abandon course.
Trepidation slides into my chest as I turn to meet my mother's grey gaze.
But her face isn't marred with angry frown lines nor is she glaring at me with disapproval; she's smiling.
"Early morning ride?" She wiggles her eyebrows.
"I just needed some space," I admit, patting Seraxes' scales, distracting her from her brother. "Needed some fresh air to clear my head."
"It would appear we have that in common." She juts her chin toward the mountains. "What are we waiting for?"
"You're not here to yell at me?"
"Yell at you for what?" She tilts her head to the side.
"Coming out here alone? Riders should travel in pairs."
"And here I am." She smiles. "Do you know why we travel in pairs?"
"If one of us should be unseated, the other would catch them."
"Yes," she nods, "but we also travel in pairs because we are much stronger together than we are solo. Frost Dragons thrive on companionship, partnership. So do we."
Her words pierce my chest. My entire life I was trained to be able to be alone.
Sure, I was set to marry Bastian and be his queen, but I wouldn't be permitted to join him when he travelled or be privy to his council meetings.
I'd be a polished trophy he displayed on a mantle – parading his submissive wife before all those he met with.
I was already living a life of solitude, but once I was married, there'd be no true end to my loneliness.
We'd have separate rooms, separate staffs, separate schedules.
Our time together would rarely be alone, just as it was while we were betrothed.
I was used to being alone, depending on myself.
That's not my life anymore, I remind myself.
I have a family. I have friends. I have Seraxes.
Sometimes I don't believe I deserve them. I didn't earn their love, didn't earn their loyalty. They gave their friendship freely and opened their hearts to me willingly. They didn't expect anything in return. At one time they didn't expect me to reciprocate.
It's time I allow myself to receive everything they offer without deeming myself unworthy.
I am worthy of love.
I am deserving of friendship.
"Aurelia?" My mother's soft voice dances in my head. "Is everything all right?"
I smile. "Who do you think is faster? Corvex or Seraxes?"
Mischief twinkles in her grey eyes. "I suppose there's only one way to find out."
And just like that, we're zipping across the sky. Corvex might have Seraxes beat on size, but Seraxes is built for speed. Just like me, she is far too stubborn to lose. I make myself smaller, pressing my chest against her scales and allow her to spear toward the rocky mountain top.
The sun blazes and I can't help but wonder if my father is watching as my mother and I race before the city wakes. The urge to have him walking amongst us is stronger than normal. Despite the impossibility, I'm grateful he led me here. He led me home. He led me to my mother.
Seraxes slices through the dawn, her scales shimmering with a blueish purple tint. She's a magnificent creature. With ease, she pulls out in front of Corvex and crosses over the peak of the tallest mountain before zipping back toward Fendruil.
As soon as Seraxes' claws touch the platform, I slide off and land on my feet. She snorts, blowing my hair across my face.
"Watch it, Seraxes," I mumble, pushing my long locks behind me. "Did you see?" I point to my boots. "I landed upright this time!"
She thrusts her muzzle against my hand.
"Are you looking for a treat? I'm afraid I only brought one."
But she's not sniffing me. She pushes my hand upward, as if she's wanting me to pet her.
Seraxes isn't an affection dragon, but I take a chance and run my gloved hand across her snout.
She closes her eyes, allowing me to rub her.
Willing to press my luck, I lower my forehead and rest against her head.
She doesn't draw away. For a quiet moment, we allow ourselves to breathe together.
"Thank you, Seraxes," I whisper, opening my eyes to look at her. She's already watching me, a twinkle in her eye.
Beating wings flap toward us and Seraxes pulls back to watch Corvex thud to the ground. With an annoyed huff, she trots inside the stable and finds her way to her pen.
"It seems we've discovered Seraxes is indeed faster than her brother." My mother slides down Corvex who quickly follows after his younger sister, as if to give her a piece of his mind. Sylvane tugs her gloves from her hands and grins.
"She might be small, but she's competitive."
"That she is," Sylvane bobs her head. "I can't begin to tell you how incredibly proud I am seeing you and Seraxes bonding." She reaches me and places her hands on either of my shoulders. "You two have come alive. Your partnership is beautiful."
"I think she's coming around to liking me," I chuckle.
"I would say so," she agrees. "I'm famished. How would you feel about having breakfast with me?"
"I'd love that."
We start up the hill back to the main gate to return to Stelara.
"How are you feeling about returning to Tronovia?" she asks.
"I'm feeling a lot of different emotions," I admit and feel a bit of treachery seep into my heart. "I love Tronovia. It's beautiful and the people welcomed me with open arms."
"But?"